There is nothing wrong with being autistic...

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There really isn't. I mean sure there is something different. But is it wrong to be different? Sure our lives may be hell at times, But is it wrong to be different? Is it wrong for us to call ourselves human despite having harder lives, more troubles and difficulties, and possibly never being independant? Should we be "inferior" to normal people? Should we let them consider us to be inferior?

I think that we don't get enough respect, and are not understood well enough. People always seem to have wrong assumptions about us. They never truly understand who we are, and even with our help they often don't know how best to helps each of us indivually.

I also see no difference from myself and an LFA, or myself and an aspie who is higher functioning than I am. We are all bound by one common thing, we are all similar in that we all have similar deficiencies. There is no difference between someone treating an LFA person badlt from someone treating an aspie badly. We are all very similar, and in fact I do not see a huge difference between LFAs and HFAs, they both have the same problems, just differently.

If someone treats anyone on the spectrum badly, it is as if they are treating everyone on the spectrum badly.

You're preaching to the choir here.

Except for the part about you never being independent.
From the way you write, you seem mature enough for 18.
In normal economy, I'd say there's no reason for you to accept any limitations on your life.

It was my daily rant... Wjhat can I say?

You know what's wrong. Living in a society that is so overstimulating making it virtually impossible to even function. OUr days are so packed with this and that, and we expect our kids to have smooth transitions. Good grief.

There's no reason to look down on somebody for not being independent, either. There's also no reason to assume that they will definitely not be independent. People grow and learn even if they're not ready at 18; and technological and therapeutic assistance is making advances every day.

There are also different levels of independence, from being able to make choices but not take care of yourself, to being able to take care of yourself but not live on your own, to living on your own but not being able to work, to living on your own and working but needing accommodation... There's no predicting where on that scale you'll be at any point in your life, and no shame in being anywhere on it.

The one bad thing about not being as independent as an NT (technically this isn't all that independent--they are very dependent on society) is that you are more vulnerable to people who provide the things you need. If they decide you don't need them or you're a bothersome nuisance or they want to take advantage of you, you can get into some real danger. That's one reason to try to be as independent as you can be, because it means you're in less danger. It shouldn't be, but that's the real world.

Another factor with independence is that people only have so many resources to spread around, and using all your resources to be as independent as you can may not be a good idea in some cases because spending ALL your time just to take care of yourself means there's no time or effort left over for anything more meaningful than that.

agrees with Padium.


being LFA,there are many more supports around self who investigate anything bad that happens from others,are removed from home quicker than a child, by social services if are being mistreated by family or those who look after own money steals from it,and have various agencies,advocates and people looking out for self,because of how easy the bad ones can get away with it.
less obvious autists are mostly mainstream and treated as regulars/normies,so do not get the added understanding,care or sympathy when something bad happens to them.

its like have said,people do not understand ASD enough...and they're judging on stereotypes.
it doesnt help that a lot of people who have been trained in it over the years still barely even know their arse from their elbow let alone anything about autism.

I agree.

I read somewhere the only differnce betwene LFA and HFA/AS is IQ.

Agreed.

Yeah, agreed as well...

I am still trying to figure out how much my parents know about autism... Andwhether or not the could have helped me or not to deal with it.

Don't be too hard on them, Padium.

I have a friend whose son, at age 3.5, was diagnosed with moderate-to-severe autism. Daddy immediately went into denial and acted like the kid had the flu. Mom. who was an elementary school teacher at the time, took on all of the burden of checking out therapies, figuring out where on the spectrum the kid was, and educated herself immensely on not only the aspects of autism, but also on treating her son herself in some capacities. She researched everything she could, got him the best help possible...In some ways, the poor kid was overstimulated by therapies

The kid is now 8 years old. He's still mostly nonverbal, but his sensorial and tactile abilities have improved greatly since initial diagnosis. His social integration skills are very greatly improved, although he's still very unsure about how all but his Mom's most intimate friends "take" him. He's got a great, mischievious sense of humor, he loves to laugh and he's "touchy-feely" with those for whom he has great affection. His mom has gone from being a teacher, to being a school counselor with specializations in learning disabilities and conditions such as autism and AS.

Now, here's the clincher. When Mom & kid came to my house six months ago, I let him have run of our place (I have 4 kids, from tweens to teens...My oldest has AS, like me, and he's about your age). He went into our swimming pool and had a load of fun getting in the spray of the sand filter. We also introduced him to a great thing called the "Wii". He and my 9 year-old daughter (who's ADHD) played together, and I was stunned to see him laugh and interact as he did tennis, golf and bowling on the console...He broke one huge sweat. His mom, of course, was shocked that he got into it, and went out and got him one. It immediately got integrated into his therapy.

A few weeks later, my husband replaced his HP PDA phone with a Blackberry. We looked at one another, figured, "Well, why not?"...And gave the old PDA to the boy. Two days later, his mom called me, stunned. Her son was typing his tail off, and this kid who never spoke is just typing his butt off and expressing himself like she's never seen. After years of pictorial cue cards, guessing games and temper tantrums, that PDA phone opened up a whole new realm for that boy. I think his Mom had a heart attack when he typed "luv u" for the first time. He's never, ever said it. He can't. But he types it just fine. That kid's got one of the most brilliant minds I've ever seen, and it's probably the greatest blessing I ever received to watch him "open up" after years of silence. It's interesting to note that, at that time, I didn't realize I was AS, or that my son is AS. I just knew we "learn" differently than other people, that we're "weird" to a lot of people. Anyways, I digress.

Now, keep in mind, the mom's been the champion of her son since his diagnosis. She probably knows this kid better than any other person on the planet. She even started a nonprofit organization to help other parents who have children with autism and AS (only one in the state of Louisiana). She's helped hundreds of other parents find resources and support while dealing with a new diagnosis. But it never occurred to her to try the things he found over here. How could she? Autism is a locked puzzle, and like any other puzzle, no amount of knowledge can prepare a "normal" person to find every little piece. It's so difficult to understand, and some pieces you stumble on in the strangest and unexpected places.

(In case you're wondering, the parents of this boy divorced about a year after diagnosis. Dad still has his head in the sand. I have to remind him occasionally to text or IM his son, so the boy can have the interaction he needs with his dad. Idiot man. If he only took the time to look, he'd realize his son is such an incredible person & that he needs his dad...)

I'm sorry this is so long, Padium. My point is, don't be too hard on your parents. Their brain works way, way differently than yours does, and sometimes the best "help" comes in the form of other people, and other situations. And even those who have made it a life's mission to help find puzzle pieces screw up, miss things, or don't consider other possibilities. It's not that they don't give a crap. It's just that understanding is a nightmare if you don't experience the overstimulation firsthand. I can understand the kid's aversion to noise, because I'm sensitive, too. I can understand his feeling like he's in a cage, because I was in it for years until I learned that writing and eloquent self-expression in the written word opens my cage up for "others" to see who I am inside. And sometimes I understand so much about my son, but sometimes I have to ask him for clarification, because his symptoms and mine differ on some points. It's not whether other people "can" or "cannot" help. First, they have to understand what's alien to their five senses, and THAT is where the challenge lies on both sides of the fence between "normalcy" and "autism/AS" in any spectrum point. It's like trying to understand another person's love for dancing when your brain doesn't even comprehend the point of swaying to music.

Okay, go ahead and flagellate me. I probably deserve it.

And on another note, I've been reading your posts. You're brilliant. I'm not sure where on the spectrum you are, but your posts indicate a beautiful mind and a keen hunger to understand. I agree, way too many people discriminate on LHA's and HFA's. The stereotype is appalling...But I'm still trying to negotiate that labyrinth, myself.

I've heard a few comments on my friend's son, and I get angry every time someone automatically assumes that because he's facing some severe challenges, he's somehow mentally defective or not a full-fledged society member. If you look past the label, and into the heart, you find something incredible. That "something" is who you are, in all its glory. That kid's got so much potential, and so much promise...Not as an autistic, but just as a person and a human being. So what if he never moves out of his mom's house? You know what? He's got value, and worth. He has ways to contribute. And even at 8 years old, he's teaching others. Already, he's not a wasted life. And to be totally honest, no matter how far he goes physically, he'll always go as far as he can. You don't see many "normal" people doing that. And that makes that kid spectacular. Okay, rant over.

I don't think that my parents aren't doing enough for me, what I do think is that they only have a skin deep perspective of what AS and autism are. They know very very little about it, and I wonder if all they wanted to know is what caused my behaviour rather than truly understanding my AS. I know they wanted to deal with it, but the more I talk with them about it, the more I realise they really don't know anything about it.

Nice story, Thorny_Rose.

I wonder if your parents realize how fortunate they are that you talk to them so intimately? It's not a bad thing; actually, it sounds like they've made a lot of efforts over the years to keep communication open.

The perspective of AS by "normal" people is that persons with the distinction are stand-offish, aloof, eccentric or "weird". You can read a list of symptoms over and over, but if you're not "wired" that way, then it becomes difficult to understand why a person would do some things. My husband doesn't understand why my son and I both take some things literally, or why neither of us are comfortable in large crowds, or why neither of us show much emotion around others. Somehow, God put me with a man who is almost effeminate in his innate understanding of others, but I'm still a mystery to him. It's not that he doesn't love me, or that he doesn't care about the quirks which make me who I am...Quite the opposite. But when I once tried to explain to him why I can't bear certain noises, why I have social anxieties, or about times when my very nerve channels feel raw and "jangly", he said, "Okay, that makes no sense to me." And in this latest go-round, as I watch my father die of terminal cancer (he was diagnosed all of two weeks ago), my husband is watching me disassociate and just function...Very little emotion on the surface, getting things done, although I've tried to explain to him time and again that it's not that I'm not feeling this, but the emotions are so overwhelmingly heartbreaking and overstimulating that I cease to feel them at all...It's like an overloaded circuit going "pffft!! !" right before the breaker sets itself to off. No amount of explaining could make him understand...It's not how he's wired. Eventually, I had to accept that some things are beyond even his comprehension, but that he loves me enough to at least tolerate me when things like this happen. Later, when that breaker resets itself, the pain is going to explode into agony, and I know it. I dread it. But I can't help it. But for now, I function. My son is doing the same thing. And my husband knows it's coming...He just doesn't understand the circuitry which makes me do this.

Lack of understanding often breeds disinterest, but of the helpless sort. Your parents, like my husband, may also believe that this is something better left to "experts"...Psychiatrists, therapists, etc., who can work with you. Again, I don't think it's a disinterest borne of apathy, but rather because they know the symptoms, but cannot understand why things are this way. And no matter where you are on the AS spectrum, I can guarantee that you're going to come across symptoms of yours that they cannot fathom.

This morning, my ex-husband has been called in to a meeting with my son's and my psychiatrist. There, the man will be told that his son (but not I) has AS. I refuse to tell him, because I can't, for the life of me, explain to him what I can explain to no one except another person with AS. I don't expect him to take it well that his offspring has this condition, and I fully expect to be blamed for his having it. But this is denial/ignorance of a different sort...I can't cure the man of inherent stupidity and bigotry. (After all, I am the dreaded ex-wife, complete with breath of habernero fire and the psyche of a centaur in a labyrinth. Moo.)

I'm really sorry that you feel that they're not interested in your AS beyond knowing it's there in the first place. But regardless of whether or not they are interested in your symptoms, there is something which can be done. Would they be receptive to speaking with your therapist, and have him/her act as an advocate on your behalf to help them at least know to be a bit more receptive to your opening up to them about it?

Someone has posted a video on YouTube that makes fun of this post; Search for There is nothing wrong with being Autistic on YouTube...

Wow, whatever.Another low functioner apologist.I am in no way deficient, but LFAs are.