why do NTs think we HAVE to be upset about being different..

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MyDogSasha
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25 Jun 2011, 7:34 pm

my shrink always says dont you want to talk or dont you wish you could talk? but i dont...i dont really care about talking. im ok with not talking that much...and when i say it she wont beleive me...

does this happen to you? that your NOT upset about something but people think you are or should be

alexi
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25 Jun 2011, 7:44 pm

My psychologist didn't believe me that I am happy not having friends. She saw it that I have come to this conclusion to make myself feel better for not having any.

No really, I AM happy with just the few people in my life.

I see it (similar to your situation) as something that NTs really just can't grasp because it is intrinsically a part of their nature. No friends and no talking are often a part of ours. Although I can imagine theoretically why people might want friends, I can't really understand it as a natural feeling.

SammichEater
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25 Jun 2011, 7:46 pm

alexi wrote:

Although I can imagine theoretically why people might want friends, I can't really understand it as a natural feeling.

Yes, exactly. It does seem very unnatural making friends and such.

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Fnord
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25 Jun 2011, 7:49 pm

True happiness is not found in conformity, but in the expression of one's true self.

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Graelwyn
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25 Jun 2011, 7:49 pm

The way I have been for the longest time, is that I am happy to just have one person whom I am close to. I have little interest in having more than that as I would simply not be able to keep up. I only find myself drawn to talk to a very few people in the first place, and would simply not be interested in maintaining any connection with most others. That is the way I work.

dyingofpoetry
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25 Jun 2011, 7:59 pm

My problem has never been with being different; I'm glad that I am. My problem has always been with loneliness, but I am learning, as I get older, to enjoy time alone and to use it keep in touch with my authentic self. I make sure that I keep in touch with the few friends I have often enough that I don't lose them, but I'm making the best of being separate and I'm happier with myself.

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swbluto
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25 Jun 2011, 8:31 pm

Fnord wrote:

True happiness is not found in conformity, but in the expression of one's true self.

Yes, exactly. I'm TRULY happy when I be my true self and annoy someone to the point they pound me into the ground as a result. I'm reminded by each swift punch to the face how truly happy being myself makes me.

btbnnyr
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25 Jun 2011, 9:20 pm

Because that's how they would feel if they were different. Projection, projection, projection! A lot of people are locked into a prison of social pressure and conformity.

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VIDEODROME
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25 Jun 2011, 9:34 pm

I have a harder time with boredom then loneliness and sometimes boredom can be relieved with either interests or conversation.

Not chit chat but real discussion.

The few good friends I had were good for actual discussion. One in particular being an even bigger music nut then I am.

CockneyRebel
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25 Jun 2011, 9:35 pm

NTs don't understand that many of us would rather celebrate our differences, than change who we are.

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Mdyar
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25 Jun 2011, 9:37 pm

btbnnyr wrote:

Because that's how they would feel if they were different. Projection, projection, projection! A lot of people are locked into a prison of social pressure and conformity.

True, because if you're in "the game" you reap the rewards; it's all a projection, and the irony is it's a theory of mind issue.

Jory
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25 Jun 2011, 9:39 pm

Quote:

my shrink always says dont you want to talk or dont you wish you could talk?

Ask him, "Don't you want to just be quiet sometimes?"

dyingofpoetry
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25 Jun 2011, 9:49 pm

Jory wrote:

Quote:

my shrink always says dont you want to talk or dont you wish you could talk?

Ask him, "Don't you want to just be quiet sometimes?"

Or smarter? Ha!

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MyDogSasha
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25 Jun 2011, 10:42 pm

Jory wrote:

Quote:

my shrink always says dont you want to talk or dont you wish you could talk?

Ask him, "Don't you want to just be quiet sometimes?"

DeaconBlues
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26 Jun 2011, 1:11 am

My differences used to make me miserable when I was younger, because people kept trying to convince me that being different was bad, and that I should really want to be just like them. It frustrated me that I couldn't make myself want that.

Now I'm feeling much better...

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pree10shun
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26 Jun 2011, 1:14 am

How should we know what we are missing not being NT

I never understood why disabled people kept saying they don't need pity but acceptance until I got diagnosed with AS myself...

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