I have a couple of questions, not to sound too ridiculously strange, but instead curious. They pertain to the way I feel at times, the seemingly annoying 'persona' that is laid out throughout me. In other words, I try to put on a strange 'act' in public in order to gain friends, but realize they are NT's at best and there's a better solution out there than 'public.' One question is this: Why do I feel strange emotions for various subjects that I am not obsessed with and do not exactly need every part of the day, but instead feel obsessed feelings? For instance, there are a variety of dance songs that I enjoy, that would make me drop tears for the songs' 'beauty' instead of exuberance, and vice versa; one song with a mystical beat or a calm beat that I would want to dance to? Am I an inverted 'particle' of humanity, because of my Asperger's Syndrome; are my emotions weird? People say I describe things in a very esoteric fashion. Does anybody else find this common for them that I could take notice of?
Furthermore, I researched NT's learning and thinking styles, and researched at a place that they think in a very unclear but noticeable way: an image of a stick-figured 'place' of various sorts, green, blue, but sure as heck unclear. However, I am having a difficult time figuring out what mine is, because I've been able to visualize various topics throughout other visuals: a sea as a sun, or anything like that. Then I've been able to see things throughout their word forms, stating that objects make me think of the sound of the word (at a higher frequency of sound) and therefore are almost as if they were encased in the subconscious. Other things make me think think of gamma, emotions, color, and other randomness. When it comes to most of the things I remember, I've been told I seem like one of those who can remember almost everything. By this, I mean childhood memories, a ton of facts, and often times phrases people use. However, I cannot seem to remember names, which is strange, or simple things like where I put my shoes. I seem to remember things in the abstract sense which is how I create 'pegs' for other ways of remembering the object. For instance, I researched 'Kali Yuga,' and yes, I've created a peg. My poetry is often times redolent of these notions and has a compassionate value to them but are very strange at best, (I've been told.) (Certain poems that are very atypical and Asemic) Because I am reminded of other visual concepts for the one I am actually realizing, I find it hard to trace the first object, but can. I am good with drawing and making websites(and other things). I've been called highly intelligent, but wonder if it is usual to have a variety of these? Is it normal to depict unusual subjects as other subjects while stimulating reason between the first and the last? I've done realism drawing but find it harder than the abstract drawing. I have to have a photo.
Interestingly enough, every time I listen to the song 'Everybody Wants To Rule the World,' by Tears For Fears, I feel as if I heard this song from another person's perspective that conjures nostalgia; it's strange, because it reminds me of a very obscure industry that had a bunch of lime green but was very celestial from a non-godly perspective (if that makes sense) It was more futuristic, but that futurism is what tapped off into the nostalgia........I really like that song, by the way.
27 Jun 2011, 9:43 am
