To what degree can I cope with my ASD?

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I've talked to a very intelligent friend of mine, and he helped me correct my posture, the way I walk, and the things like that (I looked autistic, and this leaves bad impression). Surprisingly, after he taught me, the next day I was almost intuitively doing it, and I looked like a NT. So, I guess I learned how to move like a NT. I think that if I spend much time, I'll be able to further improve this, and act like an artistic NT. Apparently, that didn't remove my overall ASD, because I still danced really bad, and I was unable to see that.

So, it seems like I can cope with some aspects of my ASD. I also know that, in certain autistic-unfriendly situations, I can just learn (and memorize) what is appropriate to do. This way, I still won't be able to "feel" what is the appropriate thing to do.

Is there a way to increase empathy (for people with and without ASD)? My low empathy is a problem to me really often.

Also, is there a way to increase hand coordination?

Actually, what can I increase, and what can I not?

Personally, I'm of the view that most things, once you become aware of them, can be changed. You had to learn to walk in the first place, so why shouldn't it be possible to learn how to walk differently? (yeah, I know about brain changes etc..)

This one's tricky; you have to fake it at first (practice the appropriate facial expressions and words) but you can become fluent in it, or at least being sympathetic to how they feel about it. Honestly, not all NTs have perfect empathy either.

I think it gets easier as you age; you encounter situations yourself so that when someone else describes them you literally can say 'I know what you feel'.



Not sure how, but I'm sure there is



This sounds kind of cheesy, but you're are the only one who can find out your limits. I don't think there are any if you put your mind to it, but there is more effort required for some changes than others. It's also important to know when to stop and not stress yourself out!

Tai Chi is very good for improving your coordination and balance. So is yoga. Actually, just about any kind of physical exercise is good for improving coordination and balance, but if you are REALLY clumsy, it's sometimes difficult to find something you can start to learn without feeling like a complete klutzy fool. Tai Chi and yoga are good because you learn to do them slowly.

just about any part of AS can be overcome or overtrained, even social anxiety, to a point.
the only thing i have not been able to train to a lower level is the sensory sensitivity.
things like posture are easy to fix, a small amount of fysio can do a lot of good; but even being made aware of them will go a long way.
social awkwardness can be remedied greatly by acting lessons.

so basically; everything that troubles you can be retrained or hidden is some way or another, although some might need some 'technology' (sunglasses, for example)

I've noticed that when I've been in a situation, it's easier for me to see someone else in the same situation, but that's not really empathy. I want to be able to determine whether someone is dancing good or not by looking at him. I want to know how would it feel for the other people to hear what am I about to say. I even want to know it better than an average NT, if that's possible.

Not every definition says empathy has to be innate. This is from the first line of the wikipedia definition (which, let's face it, most of society goes by these days )

Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

It does go on to say that there are many different definitions, but the bottom line for all of them is that it involves sharing a feeling.

I don't think very many people are born 100% empathetic; think back to school. How many of your classmates empathised with their teachers? I've heard people my age who have gone on to teach themselves talk about how they never knew how much hard work it was to stand up in front of a class... that's something they've had to learn to empathise with themselves.



I'm not sure if that's empathy though. Dancing is subjective and even if you love ballet, unless you've taught yourself a bit about it you won't really know if it's technically good or bad (example; Natalie Portman in Black Swan. Most people (including myself) thought she was amazing but ballet experts have admitted she wouldn't have been good enough in real life).

Also most people are really bad at knowing how their words come across; everyone puts their foot in it and everyone bores other person from time to time. You can't read minds. A lot of social etiquette doesn't came completely naturally to others; they often learn it through practice in High School or movies.

practice makes perfect isnt just a saying, its the truth. also a develoupmental disability means you just havent learned the skills so once you learn them you should be alright

Great that you're learning stuff, I'm glad you've such a nice friend who teaches you things.

When you memorise things, you could even keep a notebook to fill in later. To help, you could list the people you talk to under headings like "family", "friend", "acquaintance", "authority figure" etc. and then you can try match them up with the social skills you've memorised.

Just remember though, this stuff isn't a fix or a cure, nor does it work the same way for us as for non-autistic people. In other words, your brain will always have to work harder than non-autistics' brains do to get through any simple conversation. Just make sure you give yourself breaks from doing all the acting. In the excitement of realising that you're learning some really useful skills, don't forget to give your mind time out to recharge for the next social situation. When you're in your own private space, at home etc., let your hair down and let the autistic you out, because it gets tiring to keep up the NT appearance. It's worthwhile, but do give yourself breaks too

Have you ever had any therapies or any kind of help with your ASD? An occupational therapist or some other professional experienced in autism might be able to speed up the learning process with you. Congrats anyway on finding some new useful skills!