Do get a "sense" about certain people?

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ocdgirl123
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30 Jun 2011, 7:36 pm

Not sure if this is the right place to post this; moderators, please move this if you feel it would be better somewhere else.

I sometimes get a "sense" of whether I am going to get along with someone when I first meet them. I don't know, it's just intuition I guess.

Last year, I was introduced to this girl, and as soon as I met her, I didn't think I would get along with her. I just sensed that. She seemed really "pushy" and "aggressive" to me.

Has another else experienced this?



SammichEater
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30 Jun 2011, 7:41 pm

Sometimes. It seems to happen more often now with experience. When I was younger I thought my mom was crazy when she would wait in line for 5 minutes at the Wal-Mart only to walk away without buying anything when the cashier said "hello" in what she interpreted to be an unfriendly tone of voice.


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XFilesGeek
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30 Jun 2011, 7:43 pm

Nope.

One of my great failings is I never get a "sense" about other people. Other individuals talk about getting a "vibe" from certain people and situations, but I've never known what that meant. When I think of "vibes" coming off people, I get a mental image of those wavy "stink lines" that artists draw coming off cartoon characters to indicate that the character smells bad.

*shrug* It takes me at least a year of careful observation to decide if I like someone or not.


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swbluto
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30 Jun 2011, 8:51 pm

ocdgirl123 wrote:
Last year, I was introduced to this girl, and as soon as I met her, I didn't think I would get along with her. I just sensed that.


I'm pretty sure just about everybody I meet gets that sense. Don't know if it's strictly aggression-related, though...



Bloodheart
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30 Jun 2011, 9:01 pm

I get a 'sense' - for me it's less about getting a sense of the person having negative personality traits, more whether they have the positive personality traits I get along with...or to be honest, I think a lot of this is down to whether they are similar to me.

It's frustrating however when I get the sense that we won't get on, it's like a big brick wall that prevents me from having any social interaction with them - I worry that I don't get along with these people because of this, nothing I can do about it but I'd rather it didn't happen.


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Mindslave
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30 Jun 2011, 9:11 pm

Everyone has this sense to some degree or another, but some people have it so low that it's barely there, and others have it so high that they "just know" before they meet someone. I'm the second extreme, and it makes meeting people just as hard as the first extreme does. One extreme is as bad as another.



SammichEater
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30 Jun 2011, 9:19 pm

I also wonder if part of it could be a personal bias. If you tell yourself you won't like someone when you first meet them, that kinda sets yourself up to find reasons not to like them. Maybe a variation of the placebo effect or something.


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draelynn
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30 Jun 2011, 9:35 pm

I get that too. I've always wondered what it was I was sensing. My husband always took issue with it too telling me I was projecting, just being negative and creating what I was imagining... until I proved my 'intuition' right a few too many times.

I don't think it is any real secret anymore. I'm just not swayed by the emotional chatter that other peopel are swayed by. I heard the words, I see the actions, I notice the things a person discusses - what they feel is important when they meet someone. Are they looking everyone one up and down, passing judgement? Are they concentrating on money, or status and how wonderful their child is to the exclusion of all others... people provide a hell of alot of information in a very short time if you are looknig at it objectively without trying to 'put yourself in their shoes'.

Just from reading a few threads on this topic here, I've noticed a trend of Aspie girls/women who seem to do this. I'm wondering if maybe the female penchant for more social interaction when coupled with that objective Aspie brain makes for a trait like this. A desire to figure people out on some level yet enough detachment to not be swayed by the overt emotional chatter of a conversation.

All I know is that I have met enough people in my life to know that most of them are fairly intolerant of people who are different - either by birth or by choice. I stick to the fringe groups - they are generally much more accepting.



pree10shun
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30 Jun 2011, 9:38 pm

Mindslave wrote:
Everyone has this sense to some degree or another, but some people have it so low that it's barely there, and others have it so high that they "just know" before they meet someone. I'm the second extreme, and it makes meeting people just as hard as the first extreme does. One extreme is as bad as another.


This and also I am sure if an effort is made to get along with everyone one can get along with majority of the people around them except with misanthropes



pree10shun
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30 Jun 2011, 9:40 pm

SammichEater wrote:
I also wonder if part of it could be a personal bias. If you tell yourself you won't like someone when you first meet them, that kinda sets yourself up to find reasons not to like them. Maybe a variation of the placebo effect or something.


Like judging people? yeah... I do that... I try however to be as friendly as possible..



ocdgirl123
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30 Jun 2011, 9:46 pm

Bloodheart wrote:
I get a 'sense' - for me it's less about getting a sense of the person having negative personality traits, more whether they have the positive personality traits I get along with...or to be honest, I think a lot of this is down to whether they are similar to me.

It's frustrating however when I get the sense that we won't get on, it's like a big brick wall that prevents me from having any social interaction with them - I worry that I don't get along with these people because of this, nothing I can do about it but I'd rather it didn't happen.


I get the positive sense too! There was a lady last year, that I barely had to take to get the sense that we would get on.



CockneyRebel
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30 Jun 2011, 10:06 pm

I also get this sense about certain people, and I'm almost always right about them.


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30 Jun 2011, 10:08 pm

My very first impression of the person whom I admire and respect the most in this world (another Aspie) was that "this guy would probably never even give me the time of day". This soon changed, but in the end has turned out to be exactly the truth. He recently showed that he seems to be as obsessed with me as I am with him though, so maybe someday we can share the time of day with each other. It is quite interesting to note however, that I often get a sense about when he will be passing by. I can look out my window randomly and a larger than normal percentage of times, he our a member of his family will be there passing by. Call it ESP maybe.



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30 Jun 2011, 10:19 pm

Yes I do and I have decided to trust it from now on....I was stabbed in the back one too many times by someone I had a bad feeling about. If I had trusted the feeling to begin with and got away from her things would have turned out better.



Arian
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01 Jul 2011, 3:07 am

draelynn wrote:
I get that too. I've always wondered what it was I was sensing. My husband always took issue with it too telling me I was projecting, just being negative and creating what I was imagining... until I proved my 'intuition' right a few too many times.

I don't think it is any real secret anymore. I'm just not swayed by the emotional chatter that other peopel are swayed by. I heard the words, I see the actions, I notice the things a person discusses - what they feel is important when they meet someone. Are they looking everyone one up and down, passing judgement? Are they concentrating on money, or status and how wonderful their child is to the exclusion of all others... people provide a hell of alot of information in a very short time if you are looknig at it objectively without trying to 'put yourself in their shoes'.

Just from reading a few threads on this topic here, I've noticed a trend of Aspie girls/women who seem to do this. I'm wondering if maybe the female penchant for more social interaction when coupled with that objective Aspie brain makes for a trait like this. A desire to figure people out on some level yet enough detachment to not be swayed by the overt emotional chatter of a conversation.

All I know is that I have met enough people in my life to know that most of them are fairly intolerant of people who are different - either by birth or by choice. I stick to the fringe groups - they are generally much more accepting.


You just described me :). Because I can't relate to most people on a social level, I tend to sit back and observe. As a result, I pick up more than people realise they're revealing. Basically, I'm the one people come to when they want to know what's going on underneath the surface of someone's emotions. I have a very definate 'sense' - call it emotional empathy, if you like. Whether it comes from observation, Nature or is a learned skill, all I know is that I can figure people out really quickly - and that they usually don't like it, because they find it invasive. Quit projecting your emotions at me, then! :lol:


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izzeme
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01 Jul 2011, 3:35 am

i also have this 'sense', and i'm almost always right.
it's at such a level of strength and reliability that my housemates almost fully rely on my judgement when trying to decide if we should allow this person to become the new roommate or not...