Totally proud of AS traits in my kids!

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memesplice
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05 Jul 2011, 4:41 am

I'm not going to go into detail but I've passed some positive behavioral traits onto my kids.
They are now at the point of developing independent lives with partners and moving away from home.

Trait 1. Stand back and assess. Be objective and take what I regard as NT's say and indicate what they intend to do with a huge pinch of salt.

2. Don't get angry with said NT's they can't help it. They are like monkey troupe and they can steal, con and cheat and it's a norm their culture.

2a. If you can defend against this NT innate tendency then you can have good stuff that's the inverse of the above negatives, but you cant' have the good stuff without dealing with the negative first. This is the 'fruit' they all want and are figuring out how to get. They all have strategies which are successful or not to varying degrees, but often give the impression they
know what they are doing when they don't.

3. Know this and you have good chance "out there".

What positive traits have you passed on to your kids or siblings ? Did you know they were positive traits when they were growing up?



OJani
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05 Jul 2011, 6:33 am

This is something I plan to do in the future! :) Interesting, though, I think today we have a lot more at our hands than our parents had when they had had the difficult task of bringing up an autistic child (or two).

(edit) My mother used to say these to me:

"When you feel you're angry at something or somebody, count to 10 before you do anything." (preventing meltdowns)

"Don't use physical force, don't be violent with anybody, use your brain instead, learn to be wiser." (find a solution)

After jumping too much on the bed, or running too much to and fro in the flat: "Go to the playground, channel your energy."

After finishing a household chore that my mother nagged me to do: "See how good it feels having done it?" (proudly)


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CockneyRebel
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05 Jul 2011, 8:24 am

As a person who's proud of my own traits, I see this as a positive thing. :)

Welcome back, by the way. :D


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memesplice
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05 Jul 2011, 8:39 am

Thanks buddy, for the welcome back.

I'm passing through and want to leave some stuff here for you guys to take care of:)



memesplice
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06 Jul 2011, 11:16 am

Today

You guys are going to love this moment.

My boys are back from studying. I got them a couple of days doing concreting work , ie we are a concreting gang. They like do weight training and boxing and shovel protein powder down them . So we walk into this shop full of NT's and queue for sandwiches. We're talking about the relationship and role of of art in film, and these NT's are getting twitchy and one turns around to alert the herd then he realizes there's two hard guys staring him down. One of my sons calmly asks me to expand on the points I'm making and we have a what is normal ( to me) conversation in the shop and no one does that sniff-cough-body shift thing , like its so great.

We were the normal in there.

It would be so tempting to do some payback in a situation like this but I know what it's like to be treated bad because of the way you act so I didn't. It's not right. But to feel normal is brilliant, because social reality is defined by those who have the power to define it and norms only spring into being in the moment.

What a good moment of many to briefly grasp in a lifetime! To be the normal.

Meme.



Last edited by memesplice on 06 Jul 2011, 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

MakaylaTheAspie
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06 Jul 2011, 11:18 am

The thought of having a family really scares me. 8O


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memesplice
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06 Jul 2011, 11:28 am

Scares everyone. What you don't realize is you get maybe one year of freedom after looking after your kids then you start to have to look after your parents . Kid are easy compared to parents, they are really scary.

Kids get easier in some ways as they get older. You have to dig in and ride out "teenager" . If you do, you get friends back at the end of the process. It's not easy, but nothing is.

Like there's zillions of NT kids estranged from their parents. I'm not sure what I did except focus down on mine, a bit like long term special interest.

I get invited to parties now (don't go) and they have NT and on the spectrum friends, sometimes they and their mates call around and chat about interesting stuff, not NT babble.
They are this cool, zeny crowd , and are like AS-NT hybrids.

We have an NT girlfriend in the house. She's ace and very funny and we take the P. about stuff like fashion and make-up , but she know were joking.

In that crowd, we are partly the norm, and I am acceptable.

Meme.