Do you think I'm on the spectrum?

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Hello everyone, I've been posting for about a week and thought I might as well ask this question since it has been parading around in my mind for awhile. The thing about myself is that once I get going on something, I cannot stop until I KNOW. This is totally unrelated to this post

My suspicions started about two weeks ago. I work at an amusement park which is A PAIN IN THE ASS, but we'll just skip that part. We have close to five different supervisors and a few leads. One day while I was on the line (it's a self serve restaurant at the amusement park) and I was scolded for not "acknowledging" the guests and he kept saying I need to have eye contact with them. I was quite offended since I saw them, all because I was not looking in their eyes did not mean that I did not acknowledge them. I have always had problems with eye contact. I vented with a friend who one day walked into the restaurant and was laughing (I did not see her, I'm not very aware of my surroundings) because she said I refused to make eye contact with all the customers and my eyes were very shifty. Obviously I'm oblivious to how I appear to people!

She later on tells me that a year ago when we were in the same class, someone told her: "you're the only person that she has willingly talked to", which I thought was very strange. I think I'm coming off as nice and smiley to people because I think I'm smiling or something, but apparently I don't want people talking to me?! Not like I care, but I thought that was weird. I can't seem to get it. People always think I'm angry or sad; and I get in trouble for having a blank look on my face.

Started talking to my mom about my past and she said I have always had problems with social interaction. If I was brought to a playground, a child would come up to me and I would turn my head and look somewhere else or just walk away--she said I did it all the time... I just preferred to be by myself; she said as a baby my eyes would be looking all over the room and ceiling, not really focusing on her :/ I also had to take speech classes as a child since my speech was not that good. I was very intelligent and had straight A's, but my brother and I both had to take it, until I rebelled and said I did not want it anymore. My mother also told me I did not talk much and did not start talking until later, but when it was time for me to start walking, my aunt told me I just basically started running instead.

As for body coordination, I suck at sports and I cannot dance. I've been hit in the face with every type of sports ball! When I was little I slammed into a wall and even now as a twenty-something year old woman, I find bruises all over myself sometimes from me running into things, but I guess I'm just silly?

I find social interaction confusing the majority of the time, I do not know if I'm saying the right thing or if I said something stupid. Sometimes people just look at me strangely and then tell me I'm weird. I got in trouble in school often for talking out loud to myself, something I was not aware of and now I'm quite aware that I do it ALL the time. It felt weird since the teacher put me on the spot; I wasn't aware that I was doing it so loudly and so strangely.

As for obsessions, I'm not too sure about that. I was obsessed with art as a child; I often attended art camps which I enjoyed! In middle school I became obsessed with history and mythology. In high school I became a music snob and as a college student, I'm obsessed with photography; my obsessions has always been art/history oriented. I do not think it was anything extreme? I would have to ask someone since I'm so oblivious to how I'm feeling and what I'm doing 99% of the time. If someone was to ask me how I was feeling, I would not know how to answer them. It's quite embarrassing to not be so in tune with my feelings and everyone says it's hard to read my facial expressions/emotions. Only my mother can, but she's been around me for years. Although, I do think I only have extreme emotions: very happy, very sad, and very angry. If it's not those things, then I do not know how I'm feeling.

Life is so confusing for me right now; I just want to cross this off the list!

I forgot to post this. As for friends... I do not know. My one good friend from middle school... And one from Germany... And I guess two from college? Quite frankly, I do not have any friends and I can never figure out why. People around me have always hung out together and never invite me. I can never figure out why. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend someone?! I think I offended a co-worker at work because I told her that her baby looked like Budai and said something about fat babies usually thin out as toddlers. OFC I did not notice the horror until two days later. I was not trying to offend her, I was just stating a fact. It wasn't an insult or a compliment, he looks like Budai! My mother always tells me I'm painfully blunt to a fault.

you should consult a shrink. im going to in a short while...