Restraining yourself in social situations

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Australien
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10 Jul 2011, 5:05 pm

Do you get the urge to do/say something characteristic of AS, then realise you shouldn't say it even though it gnaws away at you, maybe even for the rest of the day? I find if someone spells incorrectly, states an incorrect or misapplied/inappropriate context fact, makes an illogical argument (usually confusing correlation and causation, non-sequitur, post hoc ergo propter hoc, etc), or pronounces a word incorrectly, I feel I HAVE to correct them and I don't understand why they don't like it (I would want to know if I said something wrong so I could be right in future), I just learned after doing it for years as a child until just before I was a teen that people don't like it, so unless I'm in a group with people who I'm comfortable with who understand my personality, I won't do it.

Does this happen to you? Is it something NTs do anyway; is that why they can socialise easily? Are they carrying around this social stress to discharge later?



CockneyRebel
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10 Jul 2011, 5:09 pm

That happens to me quite often.


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oceandrop
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10 Jul 2011, 5:30 pm

NTs are generally not as precise and logical with their thinking as AS people.

AS people like to correct others as they're often brutally honest and focus on the facts/arguments.

NT people don't like it as they instead focus on themselves, their emotions, and their pride. They struggle to be emotionally detached from the factual/logical statements they make and feel you are challenging them as people.

Another reason why being AS in an NT world is painful.



gailryder17
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10 Jul 2011, 5:41 pm

This weekend, I was having a conversation with some family friends and I made a statement that if I was my real self, I'd be ostracized. They all stared at me (they were teens, all older than me) because none of them knew what "ostracize" meant. Then I wondered "how do they not know what that means?" and I also talked about some of my quirks without disclosing my diagnosis. Now they all think I'm weird. Now I know not to be myself again.


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swbluto
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10 Jul 2011, 8:53 pm

gailryder17 wrote:
This weekend, I was having a conversation with some family friends and I made a statement that if I was my real self, I'd be ostracized. They all stared at me (they were teens, all older than me) because none of them knew what "ostracize" meant. Then I wondered "how do they not know what that means?" and I also talked about some of my quirks without disclosing my diagnosis. Now they all think I'm weird. Now I know not to be myself again.


Meh, teens. They clearly haven't studied for the SAT, yet. :lol:



Last edited by swbluto on 11 Jul 2011, 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Arian
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11 Jul 2011, 4:14 am

Happens to me all the time. Which is why I hide at home so much ;).


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Kookygirl
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11 Jul 2011, 9:48 am

I think some people don't like having their flaws pointed out to them because they are happy just the way are, and dont want to change the way they speak or do things.

Where I think the ASD mind is more likely to use grammar correctly because it's easier to understand than social correctness. Maybe excelling in one area to make up for the failure of understanding the other. That's my theory anyway.



Australien
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11 Jul 2011, 4:28 pm

That could be true. One has mostly definite right and wrong answers, the other is amorphous and fuzzy, beyond the absolute of not violating people.

Although, I will say that I am sometimes caught out by people with non-Anglo surnames who Anglicize the pronunciation. I bet there are second and third-generation Grzybowskis, Nguyens, and Dvoraks who think I'm horribly pretentious by trying to say their surname in the correct Polish, Vietnamese or Czech way :oops:



MakaylaTheAspie
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11 Jul 2011, 4:37 pm

I try to, but things slip. :lol:


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