Do you like to have your own mind?

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What I mean is, do you like to just do things at your own pace, without others telling you what to do? I'm not sure if this is an Aspie thing or not, since some NTs who I know like to have a more indepenant mind, whilst other NTs who I know always seem to want to rely on somebody and let them do the thinking for them.

Although I'm an Aspie, and I find things more challenging, I still would rather do things at my own pace, and how I want. Like with job-searching, I like to just do it the way I want, without having somebody else saying, ''oh you don't want to do X, you should do Y, and I wouldn't do Z if I were you''. I know they think they're helping me, but they're really just making me feel very confused and even more anxious. Suggestions and help from my mum (and other close relatives) is a little different, and also getting help from disability employment services is a little different too. But when people outside of family, like friends, dictate to me what I can and can't do with my life, this is when I start getting more anxious than ever.

At the moment I've got a friend who is very fickle. She is on job-seekers too, and is 10 years older than me, and she says she's going to do one thing then the next minute she changes her mind and says she wants to do something else. She says she wants to do something with me, like doing vollunteering at the same charity shop, and I would love that because I think that starting somewhere new with a friend will be quite nice. But then the next day she changes her mind and says, ''I don't know if I want to work there now....maybe we can go somewhere else, but I'm not sure that I want to do that yet, maybe we could wait a few weeks then look for volluntary work'', and I just want to start volluntary work as soon as possible, otherwise I'm going to just end up doing nothing at all. She likes to meet up with me 3 or 4 times a week, which is good because it gets me out, but I would really like to just start at a charity shop without no fuss, whereas my friend keeps on changing her mind with what she wants to do. I try to tell her that I want to do what I want to do, but she lectures and says, ''no you don't want to work there - I went in there and it looked really hard.'' I am excellent with computers, and when I say I want a job doing computers, she says, ''no, computer work can be really hard, I had a friend who done it and she hated it. No, you don't want to do that.'' And because of my difficulties in standing up for myself, I find this person very hard to get around. Although we get along really good as friends, I'm finding her a bit difficult job-wise, because it's like she forgets that everybody's an individual with different ideas and ambitions, and she thinks that just because she doesn't like something, that I'm not going to like it either, which isn't the case. This is why I feel a little relieved when I'm looking for jobs on my own, so that I can go at my own pace and look for what I know suits me, instead of what might suit me. It's nice to have a little push from a friend, but too much push isn't good because is defeats me from doing what I want.

But anyway, enough said with me. I was just wondering if other people here would rather choose what you want to do with your own life, or if you would rather somebody else to do the thinking for you.

I like to do things my way and at my own pace. It's just easier that way. Don't want others to choose for me.