Terrified that an assessment will reveal that I'm "normal".

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My greatest fear is that I'll be told by a professional that rather than being on the spectrum, I'm actually just incompetent. That is, that they'll say I'm normal and that I'll have to internally conclude that my inabilities stem from just being a failure that isn't trying hard enough as opposed to someone whose struggles on a daily basis are genuine.

Has anyone experienced this?

And I guess I'm also worried that since I've aired my beliefs to others, albeit with some doubt included, that when the inevitable comes people will just assume that I spoke out because of some kind of attention grab.

(Hopefully I'm not posting incorrectly. I tried to read the rules carefully and check some of the pages for a similar thread.)

I can relate a little to that. It's real easy to use being on the autism spectrum as an excuse for all one's failings in life, rather than an explanation that could lead to a better understanding of why they occurred so that we become better equipped to improve ourselves.

For what it's worth, even if you're not on the spectrum but seem "incompetent" or whatever there's going on, these things might often lead to other diagnoses. Unless you seemingly function perfectly fine without too many set-backs, there's probably at least some paragraph in the DSM that has something to chip in... so it would seem.

Don't be afraid to be labeled "normal"... that's actually the minority, lol. Which in turn would make you quite unique.

Being normal doesn't mean that a person's struggles aren't genuine, it just means means they don't have autism or any other diagnosable mental/neurological condition.

"Normal" contains many very broad spectrums of its own....it's not just one thing. Clinically normal people are extremely varied, and can still have significant difficulties that they require help (professional or otherwise) to deal with.

Any professional who just says, "You just need to try harder" probably isn't doing their job (even in cases where someone really did just need to try harder, I am guessing there would be a reason they weren't doing so already and they might need more help with that reason than just being told to try harder).

I was worried about this before my assessment too. I was so worried that if a professional said I wasn't actually on the spectrum, I'd feel that all the issues and difficulties are just because I was a weird, lazy, stupid and selfish piece of crap. I was also going through a bit of an identity crisis because before I got my diagnosis, I would keep going back and forth from being confident that I in fact was autistic, and thinking there's no way I was autistic. Going back and forth constantly like that was really depressing but I couldn't help but obsess over it.

When I finally got my autism diagnosis I was kind of in shock when the assessor told me that I am in fact autistic. It wasn't until a few days later that it really started to sink in and I started thinking about what that actually meant. Since then, I've become much more comfortable with myself, and I started somewhat letting go of my NT disguise that I've had on for most of my life. I think just doing that has done a lot for my mental well being!

Hope everything goes well for you!

Now I'm heading towards formal diagnosis I have moments when I think: Perhaps I don't have autism. Perhaps I'm so mentally ill that I'm going through some kind of psychosis and my psychologist is humouring me by letting me think I have it.
Then I think: If this is true I must have been suffering psychosis my entire life.
When you feel you've finally found the answer that explains why you're the way you are after a lifetime of searching, it's a bit terrifying to think you may be wrong.

Well if you are going for an assessment, there's gotta be a reason for it...if there was nothing actually wrong what would be getting assessed? I mean even if you find out you aren't on the spectrum it doesn't necessarily mean you're 'normal', it would just imply you're not on the spectrum but wouldn't mean you don't have any kind of condition or disorder. I can sort of understand that fear though, hell I have multiple diagnoses and sometimes I still feel like a failure that should just try harder and only has my self to blame for my position in life(objectively thinking about it always tells me otherwise but I still get it in my head I am just a no good screw up).

But yeah even though I have an official diagnoses I still question if i actually have autism or not...or if its something else.

Depends on how you are using normal...in the clinical sense having to do with mental functioning normal is the majority as it just refers to people without a mental condition/disorder/developmental disability or whatever...and it turns out most people do not suffer from a mental condition. But in other senses of the word normal it actually would be a minority...a very subjective word for sure.

I had the same fears when I initially considered trying to get a diagnosis some years ago, but as the years passed, I sort of stopped caring. During the clinical interview, last month, I had no worry even about the outcome, I was sort of indifferent by then. And to be honest, even with several specialists having been fairly quick to conclude that I have Asperger's, I still do not blame that for my deficits, but rather still believe it to be because I am lazy, selfish etc etc. I do not think diagnosis relieves those issues for everyone.

I had the same fear, even though I didn't want to be in the position of strongly wanting a positive diagnosis.

The main thing to remember is that even if you don't get an autism diagnosis, nobody will label you as incompetent or a failure. They should explain to you why they didn't think you matched the criteria for a diagnosis and what they think you might have instead (depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, etc.). A "normal" diagnosis doesn't actually mean that you are normal or that you have been trying any less hard than somebody with autism.

Everyone's struggles are "genuine." Everyone has a reason for why they struggle, some people just don't have ASD as the reason. It's never just your own fault. There are obstacles in the world for everything we do, on the spectrum or not, and not everyone has the same abilities to meet those obstacles.

Yeah, starkid put it better.

If you are struggling enough to seek an assessment, then your struggles are genuine whether they are caused by an ASD or not. I have quite a few family members with various mental health illnesses, none of whom are on the spectrum. For the worst-affected, it's no joke.

Others have already spoken far more eloquently than I could so I won't weigh in on the advice front, but wanted to add that I'm familiar with that fear (or something akin to it) as well: you aren't alone in that respect.

This is exactly why some of the self-diagnosed crowd on here probably aren't actually on the spectrum. Not saying that's true about you necessarily though.

It's just that I can easily see an NT claiming to have AS to make excuses for his/her various failings in life. I imagine AS is often the mental-disorder of choice for people that are self diagnosing since traits of it often include stuff like having above-average intelligence, being overly-nice to others, etc.

I had those same fears/concerns esp. leading up to my feedback session. I think they are perfectly normal concerns - for anyone. To be 100% honest I also feared getting a diagnosis also. I wanted to be "normal" but also craved an explanation for my struggles. Turns out the evaluator pointed out my obvious lack of executive function which has led to not accomplishing a lot of what I wanted to do in life. I was not aware of it until someone pointed it out. So, yeah fear is normal - but not for the reasons that you think.

I am taking a test in a few months and I am also terrified. I don't know what to do if I am determined as normal and not autistic .

In fact I think I'll post on my own thread too