Fun with the police

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I went to the beach in a fairly affluent community. I was stopped and questioned on 3 different occasions by law enforcement. Apparently I didn't look like I belonged there. I kept it to myself since I didn't want to ruin other peoples' vacations in my party, but it put a major damper on my own. Since you're paying premium prices to add to the local economy for a relaxing and enjoyable time, I felt unwelcomed and ripped off to a certain extent. It is also a thumbprint in my mind on how others perceive me which can be disheartening when you really just are looking for a respite and escape for a week. Part of it is probably my fault since I don't look clean cut a good portion of the time and I usually don't mind doing things alone while seemingly everyone else travels in packs.

Two were rather mundane. I would get up early to go for a run before the day became too hot. I was just getting started one day and I was asked what I was doing when I thought it was pretty clear. My behavior was probably seen as odd for that time of day though plenty of people ran that area. Another time I was leaving a shopping complex area at a brisk pace to head down to a beach and they caught me offguard. Like I said, I generally move a lot faster than the average person and maybe I look like I am trying to get away from something.

The other time was kind of scary. I was on a late night stroll and admittedly I had had a couple of drinks while out to eat with friends earlier in the evening. I am a bit of a stargazer and can get lost in my thoughts, but saw a police car pass me about 15 minutes earlier. But he still caught me by surprise cause I guess my mind was wandering. I had passed a drunken, rowdy group earlier and thought I had little to worry about. He pulled up and turned his lights on and demanded rather aggressively that I look at him. I thought I was but I guess I don't do eye contact properly. He wanted to know why I wouldn't make eye contact with him and I told him "I was kinda shy" which he scoffed at as he presumably thought I something to hide. He asked where I was going and what I had on my possession and that it was better for me to offer any concealed contraband. I was shook up but tried to be friendly. He asked if I had anything to drink and I told him I did earlier but felt fine. He basically said he didn't believe me and I looked suspicious. He made stick my arms up in the air as he frisked me and emptied my pockets. I had forgotten to admit I had a pack of trident gum in one pocket and he derided me as I had not admitted to having it. I think he thought it was a weapon or perhaps some drugs and he was going to catch me in a lie. He looked disappointed, but was still plenty hostile in my eyes as he took my wallet with ID and informed me that I had better not run and made me repeat it to him as he went to his cruiser to do a criminal background check.

About this time as I stood out in front with his bright lights shining on me, my right leg began stimming uncontrollably as I couldn't really stop it from bouncing up and down. I was worried that he might see it as someone about to make an attempt to flee, but since it was covered by my jeans he didn't notice I guess. I was clean with the background and he was going to let me go after I signed some form of release, told him my home phone, and recited to him my social security number. By this time, I was feeling more calm and asked him why I had been stopped if it was the way I looked or what. He told me I was walking differently or some other vague term, it was late, and that they had had some break-ins earlier the year. I said that sounded reasonable, but really I just wanted out of there without giving him reason to arrest me. I walked back to the beach house we rented and didn't mention it the rest of the week.

I have replayed it my mind. Obviously he was aggressive but I can see that since he is dealing with an unknown and I was quite a bit bigger than him. I can really see how one perceived inappropriate motion on my part could have gotten me cuffed, tasered, or shot. And that kinda scares me more than anything. I don't know whether I should strive to look more mainstream, work on my eye contact and other things, or show more wisdom in what I am doing instead of just doing my thing and not worrying about what others think.

Sorry if that was way too long of a post, but I think it can be an interesting discussion and I wanted to divulge the details as I recall them.


Have you experienced intrusions from the law because of differences in your body language or other behaviors? Is it mine (our) responsibility to take actions or to look a certain way to not look guilty? Am I making too much of it? Is there anything that can be done about it?

Have you tried having an autism awareness card? I keep one in my wallet and one in my bag (along with my TS cards... try explaining why you just shouted PIGGY to the cops!). I notice you said one of the officers searched your wallet. With any luck he/she would find the card and alert the other police to your situation. I don't know where you live country wise but I live in Bedfordshire UK and our local police service actually have an alert card scheme for this purpose. I don't know if other countries/counties also do this though.

Maybe. I was once falsely arrested once because some store owner thought I took a video tape without paying for it. Maybe it was me that did something that raised suspicion or maybe it was the store owner who was an idiot. If he thought I took something, why didn't he run after me and ask to search me? I would have proved then I had no video tape on me and he would have gone back inside and continue his business.

But I have never had any other problems with the police. If you have problems with the police frequently or a few times, it's a good idea to get something like an autism bracelet or a card to show that you have autism.

I think cooperating with the police and doing as they say is the best because running away or not cooperating can make them think you are a criminal and hiding something. Same as with eye contact.

I should get one when I move out

Thanks for your thoughts guys. I had an internal debate whether to mention autism because I don't really know how educated people are about that these days. But I've read and heard of little episodes between police and autistic people that end in tragedy. And I guess in this case, it wasn't really needed. My experience with police have been both good and bad, but I would be leery of calling for one if I required one for some reason because I think they are meant to maintain public norms more than dissect right from wrong. When your approach is based on reading people's intentions and profiling techniques, I doubt many AS people meet those standards. Like every profession, there are good police officers and those who see it as just a job with some power that can be abused.

I can't be the only one who doesn't exactly feel comfortable around police even though I have never committed any real crimes, right?

Doesn't sound like a very friendly place. What part of the country was it? A friend from the notheast told me the cops are meaner where he's from than they are here.
Someone might have reported you if you were out at odd hours.

oh, they can file charges of resisting detainment/arrest on you if you don't comply even if they aren't arresting you. that can get you probation and is a class A misdemeanor. So always do what they say no matter how ridiculous. you can always sue them later if they are really just being a**holes.

You aren't the only one. I try not to look 'suspicious' in any accidental way and I am glad when they leave the immediate area. Sometimes I get this urge to grin and giggle when they are around, because they make me excited and nervous and I can't help it.

Which is weird in that I am planning to become one, but it doesn't mean that they still don't make me uneasy.

I've frequently been harassed by cops too.
One time I was wheeling my bicycle through a crowded sidewalk downtown, and they are ahead of me, joking around with some skateboarder kids, and one of them spots me, stands up and puts himself right in front on my bike; I nearly bumped him.
He grabs the bike, wrests it from me, demands my name and before I can reply asks why I'm not riding it, not on the street, what's in my bag, and where's my helmet... then orders me to follow them back to their car or they're going to impound my bike.
I'm far from home. I had just bought the bike the year before. It was my only freedom.
Long story short, I wound up in handcuffs (so tight I bled) and in the back seat, my backpack dumped all over the trunk of the car, and my wallet searched. They found 500 bucks (I had just gone to the bank to take out my rent for the month) and were threatening to take that as "proceeds of a crime".
I pointed out the bank receipt was still in the wallet, they did a record check, couldn't find me and started screaming at me, finally spelled my name right and found that I was clean. After a lecture and some orders and a threat (one of them told me I lived in "his" neighborhood and he'd be watching for me) I was released, with my bike, and my bloody wrists. I fled. I also got four tickets:

"Failure to identify self" - dated with my birthdate, not the actual date of the event.
"Brakes on bicycle not adequate" - dated the date after the event.
"No light on bicycle" - at 3pm on a bright sunny day.
"Riding on sidewalk" - nuh-uh!

I stopped riding my bike for the next two years.
****
Walking down the street, coming ack from visiting my mom, 8pm (after dark) and suddenly sirens and lights RIGHT behind me, and a barking voice. I jumped five feet. Head on hood. Wallet yanked. Cop: "What, you didn't notice me next to you?". At least no tickets that time.
****
There have been other times, but this post is too long already.
(I do need to mention I was well groomed and well dressed on both occassions,
and that now I am deathly afraid of cops.)

I have no issues with police personally, though not entirely trusting of them.
However, my aspie boyfriend is very unhappy around them, and rather paranoid.
He does tend to get followed by security guards and the like, simply based on his appearance...for looking a little different.
It is a sad world that people get harrassed and arrested based on visuals really.

John Waters said on the documetary The Filthy World of John Waters (2006) that he and his friends would walk into stores to do some shoplifting. They would let the store detective follow them around and see them put things in their coats then when the store detective was not looking they would put the stuff back then leave. When he would drag them back in the store they would sue for false arrest.

I had a teacher who told me back in the 70's she and her friend got caught shopliting when they were 12 the store detective left them locked in a room until the police arrived but before he left he called them a couple of sluts so her and her friend decided to get back at the store detective by stripping naked. When the cop entered the room they started crying and told the cop the store detective made them strip naked and touched them all over. The cop arrested the store detective and they managed to settle out of court.

I walk to the store at night just to avoid the crowds and it is several degrees cooler at nightime. I have been stopped numerous times because I am out late and I stagger when I walk due to bad balance. Each time I make bad eye contact so they become very suspicious of me.