If Nt's are so good at body language...
Some NTs are a bit slow to learn social skills.
Some do it for certain situations and so-called "strategies" in jobs (interviews, courtesy, whatever conducts), investigations (usually criminal psychology references, and this so-called guide call 'how to spot liars'), socializing (getting friends or dates by 'how to be cool', 'how to be polite', etc.), last but not the least is travelling abroad because body languages mean different things in various cultures. A certain norm is a taboo to another. And vice versa.
If people don't use words, no one should be reading or typing at all. Whether written or spoken, not all body languages can 'encode' certain 'language-symbols' or it's meanings. And how would that help the blind?
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Aspiewordsmith
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It is allistic people that learn paralinguistics instinctively and people with other types of NT spectrum condition are little impaired if a person has learning disability and in this case learns to compensate for the cognitive deficits which hampers social skills development also includes a form of sensory communication which is itself a form of body language which is understood better in people with severe learning disabilities but not with a high functioning condition but however these may be comparable to those that are paralinguistics between Asperger syndrome and other kinds of autistic people is that it is different sort of culture where a person can have a conversation with someone without looking at the person in the eye and what is the use of maintaining eye contact if you are not romantically attracted to someone? Especially if no information is sent or received by the people engaging in chat. because what is said is what it is. I know that for people on the neurotypical spectrum, such as allistic people 93% of communications is paralinguistic cues gestures and expressions and about 7% verbal. For AS people the levels of verbal communication to non verbal is the other way round in the fact that 93% of communication by Asperger syndrome people is verbal and only about 7% is non verbal and any non verbal communication is learned in a similar way to the way a person studies monkeys and apes other than man.
The Aspie has to learn to do what allistic people learn to do instinctively by a system of sometimes trial and error but often with no one helping because no one can really understand what it means and the use of paralinguistics or knowledge of it can also be used to exploit or take advantage of someone who does not have these abilities. If we are such bad liars it is just the assumption that allistic people have on those that do not make eye contact and or avoid it because he or she feels it is inappropriate behaviour and rather creepy especially without any social information given or not understood. Which means being accused of being deceitful or bare faced lying even when telling the truth. It sounds like that this is just an access need or 'reasonable accommodation' for the neurotypically handicapped
because it sounds that what people do as applied behaviour analysis is a set of reasonable adjustments like allism is some kind of developmental disability. A good point of why people use words at all but speech and writing has allowed the development of civilisation and to convey ideas and knowledge which what verbal language is used for and written language and internet access et.c supplement that.
Dating can be just like a game or trying to learn differential calculus when you struggle with your times tables in terms of what is to be done and what is to be avoided as well as if you are that person's type or not and also to prevent exploitation which is what can cause some people do develop a 'personality clash' because some people have learned over the years to see through deceit and hidden truth most people do not like that. ![]()
Neurotypicals don't think about body language as much as we do. For the most part, it comes naturally to them, so they don't necessarily understand the mechanics of it.
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Because just like anything else out there. There's always room for improvement. KIM: that these body language books are for more advance users and will not benefit Aspies in any way. These books are like the calculus/algebra for body language while us aspies are still learning to add 1+1 in the area of body language.
A lot of managers, recruiters and police, for example, are taught to read deep body language, to go beyond what is seen in casual conversation; the mentioned books then teach the 'general public' what the managers try to see in their body language, and teach tricks to mislead... it's basically a non-verbal arms race to be the best liar
The first time I read one of those books, I was somewhat skeptical. Because what it described didn’t apply to me. As an example, one book suggested that having your arms crossed over your chest was a signal of defensiveness and resistance. But, you have to have someplace to put your arms and what if that is the most comfortable position?
As I think about it, I imagine I process all verbal and non-verbal communication in a uniform manner. Which is, I ask myself how would I -- who I consider to be an extremely rational person -- respond in a particular situation. I then interpret other’s responses based upon that.
As such, if I am in a room with people (say a presentation) and my arms are crossed because that’s the most comfortable position, I assume the same for everyone else in the room (if, that is, I happen to notice).
Likewise, if I am in a room with others and someone (say a boss) is chastising someone. I think, how would I feel in that situation (i.e. uncomfortable and agitated) and I pretty much assume that is how the other person feels.
Generally, I assume everyone does that. As that makes sense (to me).
Yes! Communication is not necessarily the goal. Some people want to learn how to mask their true intent by lying with body language and others want to learn how to unmask those lies. The term "poker face" would have no meaning if everybody was trying to communicate truthfully with body language.
myths and truths about body language
^^^^as noted by Rocket123
and this ^^^^^^ is why it can't replace spoken language. Unless you are communicating with somebody with whom you have already established a non-verbal signal code (as sports team players often do with their teammates) specificity will be lacking.
and this ^^^^^^ is why it can't replace spoken language. Unless you are communicating with somebody with whom you have already established a non-verbal signal code (as sports team players often do with their teammates) specificity will be lacking.
I know for me, I don’t purposely use expressions to signal emotional intent. This makes me wonder whether -- for most people -- body language is conscious or sub-conscious.
One other thing. Quite often I use my hands - in conjunction with objects - to explain things. I do this intentionally. As an example, I work in the software development world. And, it's not uncommon for me, if I am explaining a concept to another engineer, to use one object (say, a pen) to represent one thing (say, a user using our application) and another object (say, a sugar cube) to represent another thing (say, the organization they belong to) in order to help explain the security model of our product. I have no idea if this is considered body language. Or not.
Body language is mostly an automatic process for NTs, not something they put much thought into, but that doesn't mean they always interpret it accurately. I think their default tendency is to interpret it as if there is one universal form of body language (and the instructional books/videos/etc. speak about it as if this is the case) but it's actually very personal and individual (and cultural).
I think it's similar to how the brain learns verbal language, it's very automatic and instinctive. But the child only learns the language(s) that they are exposed to at a young age. Learning other languages later on is a more conscious, deliberate process. People also learn the unique body language of their close family members and other people they are exposed to from a young age. But when they encounter people who "speak" a very different and unfamiliar body language, they don't automatically learn to translate the differences.
With verbal language it is more obvious when a person is speaking a different language (or even if the person is speaking the same language, there may be some obvious regional differences in meaning.) A person could say words with the same approximate meaning in many different languages, and each phrase would sound completely different although the basic meaning and intent is the same. However with body language, it is opposite of that. Most human beings use the same components of body language, the same gestures and symbols, but those gestures can have very different meaning and intent.
I think when NTs encounter people with unfamiliar body language, it is kind of like if you heard someone speak using all the same words as your own native language, but using alternate meanings for some of those words. At first it might seem normal, until you realize the meaning behind the gestures doesn't quite add up the way it normally does. This is why people start asking things like "Why do you have that look on your face?" "Are you upset?" etc. This is a common thing - yes it probably happens more often between autists/NTs - but NTs do this with each other too.
Even people who have known each other a long time in as adults might misinterpret each other's facial expressions, because they are still interpreting according to how they learned to interpret people as children. Say for instance, a person might assume someone is angry because they saw a flash of a facial expression that reminded them of their mother when she used to get angry. I think for most people it actually takes a fair amount of conscious thought and examination to override that process.
Early childhood experiences are encoded deep in our brains - especially if there is any trauma or fear involved. But in general, NTs process information about faces very differently than we do. The NT brain has a stronger tendency to correlate an emotional meaning to images of people. It's automatic and instinctive, but that doesn't necessarily make it accurate.
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People are *always* misreading body language. I read years ago this can be very serious at a job interview. The boss asks a young woman why she left her previous job. The lady then fidgets a bit and frowns because her back is hurting. The boss thinks to herself "She was probably fired".
If I asked what my reason for leaving a previous job was, I'd like to answer. "It sucked". Maybe I'd get hired for honesty? ![]()
87% of all communication is nonverbal in the NT world, we were talking about in class, they say that sometimes NTs can have a full conversation without any words at all. I for one, suck at reading body language.
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we can get good at it too. Ive read up on body language for hours on end. But, how we can learn is much different. They are just using it naturally on a subconscious level. However, we can use this to our advantage. We can remember specific events such as a friend crinkling his fist at you (yes) months back because you upset him. However, he wont be realizing that hes doing it and you are picking up on it on a conscious level. However, our body language is like stagnant. We can learn to forcefully use certain signals to our advantage. We can realize whats going on on a conscious level and make an intelligent decision based upon it.

