My boss told me to look at him when we are talking

Post Reply New Topic

It was a performance review meeting and I was looking down so I could focus better on what he was saying. He leaned across the desk and asked if there was anything down there I was looking at, I replied no, and he told me to look at him when we are talking then gestured with two fingers towards his eyes and then towards mine.

I was pondering whether I should tell him about my AS but the discussion moved on and I let it slide.

Hrrmph.

I've told people that I'm not comfortable making eye contact without mentioning Asperger's, and they typically let it go at that.

I also tell people that eye contact makes me feel awkward.

Maybe try making eye contact with him for a little bit, and focus on something next to him for a little bit. Alternate, but not in any specific order. Perhaps that could help you focus on what he's saying, while also making eye contact.

Off-topic, but Spazzergasm you're extremely beautiful. A pity you're in Istanbul Wowzer

Aw, thank you. Where do you live?

USA! And I'd have no trouble making eye contact with you.. LOL

I meant where in the USA?

I tell people that I always avoid eye-contact if they bring it up, and they normally bring it up when they're talking about something serious. I figure this is because they make eye-contact more when being serious, but I have no idea why they'd do that. Maintaining eye-contact distracts me too, and sometimes I've had conversations and attempted to use eye-contact, and haven't been able to reply because I can't remember anything they say, which is annoying if they want me to both listen and maintain eye-contact, even if I've told them about it in the past. Sometimes people can be dumb...

But yeah, this eye-contact thing... guess I'm not the only one

East Coast, near NY. Sizde güzel gözler var.

Look between the eyebrows now and then. This way the feel you are looking at them, but still your eyes can zone out a bit and you don't have to focus on eyes too much. At first it takes a bit to get used to but after a while you will do it automatically.

When I was in 6th grade, a teacher started screaming at he in front of the whole class for not looking her in the eyes when you spoke. I stormed out about to cry, and when another teacher found out about this he told me this technique. Sweetie...

Or another one is just nod, and pretend you are writing what they are saying (or write it) this way it is obvious you are paying attention, and they wont feel insecure about it.

I've been told to look at the person's forehead, but that's just as uncomfortable for me. I like to just mention the fact that eye contact makes me uncomfortable, sneak it into conversations and get it out of the way, so I can just be myself from then on.

I usually look at the mouth, chin, or neck, maybe even the chest if I'm really uncomfortable. Most people can't notice a difference anyway, as long as you are looking in their general direction.

Trust me... They will notice if you're looking at their mouth or chest. These (especially to women) are indications that you are interested.

I tend to lower my gaze toward the chest, which is awkward with women because I'm always afraid they're going to think I'm looking at their tits. Which I am, I guess, but I'm really just staring off into space. Now I try to force myself to look at their shoulder or something.

Oh, well then it's safe to say I'm moving to Seattle this September.

Picturing you saying that irl with devil horns and a creeper grin was kinda entertaining.