I don't think I have Aspergers anymore. :(

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I don't think I have it anymore. I don't know what happened, but I've even become "too" normal. I don't know how... Like, people still think I'm weird... But I never have to pack earplugs like some aspies, and I can tolerate the theatre, and I mean it when I ask people how they're doing and stuff... And I can tolerate my room being completely changed now... It's like it's gone, or maybe I adapted it (the aspergers) temporarily to try to fit into something? I think I don't have enough problems reading people to classify. Like, I'm pretty good at nonverbal stuff.
I'm sad. I like aspies!

I feel a little like that myself, though I just don't feel I belong with either the AS or NT crowd!

I know how you feel. That's how I've been feeling lately.

Yeah... I feel like I can relate to aspies... But I don't know if I've ever had a meltdown. I have, but how do I know I really couldn't control it? I'm sure I was simply letting it happen.
But then if I'm 100% NT, how do I explain the many neurotic intolerances I have? People chewing gum has become a MASSIVE problem for me. I can't stand it. Today on the bus, I caught myself glaring hatefully at a woman who was chewing gum across from me, she smiled at me, and I kept the stony stare for a second before I caught myself and did a half-ass smile in return as a sort of apology. I felt bad.
My parents think I'm a frickin Nazi when it comes to shutting doors around the house... I just don't know what to do with some things... And I really don't fit in with NTs all the time. I feel like I can relate to them 1 on 1... Although I do feel a wall sometimes.. Or over analytical, and have to watch myself... Because all these personal questions pop into my mind, and I want to practically study them. Or I get far more interested in something for a lot longer than everyone else does.

Maybe I'm a chameleon. Good grief! I might be more AS then I thought... UGH! I want a frickin diagnosis. UGH I wanna meet aspies too. I think a few guys at my school might have been, and I really enjoyed their company. But I don't know for sure.

Some non-autistic people develop temporary (perhaps long-term in some cases but still temporary) autistic-like characteristics due to anxiety, depression, stress, or other things. Perhaps this was the case for you?

But I seemed it as a child... Not excessively, but that's because I was quiet. And my mom gave a good reason why I never seemed angry or frustrated back then: because I always had the forest to go to if I was stressed. I never had to deal with the things that bothered me until I was forced to be around people all the time (by moving here).

Are you on any anti-depressants? I hardly noticed my symptoms when I was on them. They make you less rigid and obsessional, as well as less anxious and depressed.

I could once tolerate sounds and crowded places before. Now, not so well.

Just be glad that things are going well in your life. It doesn't always last but I hope for your sake that it does. AS symptoms get int he way of living a happy life, at least they do with me, and if your symptoms are barely noticeable that you think it's gone then good for you.

No NT is 100% neurotypical. Just because someone has Aspergers, doesn't mean they don't also have something like depression or anxiety, which can affect someone with Asperger's the same way it affects an NT. There's going to be some overlap between the feelings and behaviors of an NT with depression and a depressed autistic individual.

I hate the sound of chewing, snorting, gurgling, etc with an extreme passion, but I also notice that my tolerance for such sounds is related to my anxiety level. The more anxious, the more angry they make me. Less anxious, they're not so noticeable.



Don't feel bad, there may be categorizable differences in the way the brain is wired amongst NTs as well. NTs are 99% of the population, and I suspect there may be an awful lot of those who are social square pegs in the proverbial round holes.

I'm not on any meds. I used to be depressed. I don't think I am anymore. I suppose I might still have it...
I'm still rigid and stuff... It just seems like I got a lot better about people skills.

I'm going to college very soon. I'm nervous. I have to function on my own, and drive to school every day, and sit in a class with a bunch of strangers... High school was different because I finally got to know everyone. It took me 4 years. I'm going to be in a social panic every day practically. Especially with no girl friends to rely on and help lead me into socializing and establishing friendships.

Actually you are just getting better at acting like a NT. People who knew me from high school who bump into me always seem to comment on how "less shy" or how "more friendly" I act. I chalk that up to 23 years of learning how to fake being NT since I was 18. I have gotten better at reading people but I still can't accept a compliment. I will probably never like strangers touching me but at least people take longer to notice how weird I am. All the years of seeing what works and what does not has made you better at acting properly. You will always be autistic if you were born with autism but you can learn how to be more NT like.

Do you think you can learn to feel more NT-like? I definitely feel like I am able to have intimate friendships.

Speaking for myself --

I am 30 years old and have NEVER felt NT. I am excellent at masking my aspie traits because I learned how as a survival skill. However, I feel wildly uncomfortable when I put on my "NT face" to go out and face the world. It drains me and makes me miserable, to be honest. I'm much happier when I can just be myself. Masking my traits means just that - hiding them from the NT world when I need to. They are still ever present.

When I am faced with these situations, I often have to think about everything that happened for days before I even begin to understand. It's like I wasn't even present in my own body. I hate it.

Oh, and I know my post makes it sound like I view my aspie traits as negative. That's not true at all. I like who I am. I also know there are different levels of functioning. That's why I said I am just speaking for myself.

In converse, perhaps you've gotten better at adapting to your AS symptoms.

I'm certainly better at a lot of things than I was 10-20 years ago. I don't think it means I don't have AS. It's a spectrum disorder. Some have symptoms worse than others, and if your symptoms are mild enough that you can learn to cope with them, over time, you get good at coping and they become less of an issue.

Depressions lift. Medication isn't always a necessity.



College is a whole different social scene. If you're going to a commuter college, you'll probably find that you rarely if ever socialize with any of your classmates, and if you're going to a residential college, you'll find a lot more people who share your interests than you did in high school. Social politics are different at residential universities too, it's far easier to become "popular" in college based on merit (achievements within university organizations and student groups) instead of having the coolest hair or most expensive wardrobe. There's a definite shift in social rules between high school and university, and you have more control over taking classes that interest you and socializing with the people you choose.



I think for some NTs it can take a lot longer to learn how to feel more NT-like. Your cognitive abilities may have developed sooner in some areas, and been a bit slower in others. My "weirdness" never went completely away for me, but at this stage in my life, most people find it charming and comfortable. But based on the criteria for AS, I'm pretty sure that the behavior I share with other people on this board is probably the result of other factors.

Last edited by Buck-oh on 23 Jul 2011, 9:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A good test is to volunteer to do public speaking. Any stimming or underlying behavioural issues still lurking in your system will manifest if you speak in front of 500 people.

This was always a confound for me as I actually love public speaking but hate being in more intimate gatherings.

I've been debating with myself for a long time whether or not I really have AS, even after being diagnosed, and have been wondering what my exact problem is. I have a lot of peculiar behaviors and thoughts, but I'm not sure of their true sources. I'm still terrible at interacting with others, but not completely in the typical way described of AS. I've been often isolated from interaction with others since my early childhood, so I don't know how much I can expect to know how to do with others without that interaction. But my impairments started somewhere when I was like a toddler interacting with others.

Even my sensory anomalies are themselves atypical compared to what I hear of. Like loud noises don't necessarily bug me. Sometimes I get disturbed by abrupt noises, and I hate certain noises like lip smacking, chewing with mouth open, sniffling snot, and other noises I somehow come to hate. I have weird preferences with foods, but often hate one part of an individual food while liking some other component of it. But I also like other sensory stimuli that I often seek.

I don't really have a lot of the strengths that those with AS have, and I have very faulty cognition, including with visual/spatial motor things. I don't know how to evaluate that in relation to my other characteristics. I think I have quite a few nutcases of some kind in my family, so I wonder what I inherited from them. Sometimes when I'm with NTs, I sorta feel like an aspie, but when considering myself compared to those on the spectrum, I feel like an NT.