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Thebigrage
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31 Jul 2011, 4:47 pm

Recently I graduated from high school, now I am looking for a job and trying to figure out how to get my room clean, in the mean time my interest is all that I have to do. I am a Video gamer I love video games and I enjoy them. However my mom and sister think that I game too much and that I am a game addict. They think that my gaming is a bad thing. I have been Diagnosed for AS for years, so I am having difficulty in finding why they are upset and worried about me. All my friends moved out of town, I dont have a license and I am stuck in the house till I can get a job. Any Advise for what I could say to my family to get them to understand why I game because it is just getting to dramatic for me.



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31 Jul 2011, 6:52 pm

I would tell them to back off and explain to them that they are women and I am man, women and men have completely different interests. Then I would tell them not to keep an eye on me, they're concerns are not mine. If they kept worrying about me or whatever I would ignore them and answer them with a monotonous "Kay".

I have developed a certain system with my family, I don't know what kind of system you have.


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31 Jul 2011, 7:09 pm

I don't think that is good advice dude. That's basically like saying I don't care what you think, just leave me alone and don't worry about me, because I don't need your help. Maybe thats true, but you're probably going to offend your family a lot. Try to understand where there coming from. Tell them that because of Aspergers' you sometimes have trouble understanding why people think the things they do, and ask them to explain it without emotion. Once you understand what is going on, you'll be better suited to deal with it



CoffeeBeans
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31 Jul 2011, 7:39 pm

Thebigrage wrote:
Recently I graduated from high school, now I am looking for a job and trying to figure out how to get my room clean, in the mean time my interest is all that I have to do. I am a Video gamer I love video games and I enjoy them. However my mom and sister think that I game too much and that I am a game addict. They think that my gaming is a bad thing. I have been Diagnosed for AS for years, so I am having difficulty in finding why they are upset and worried about me. All my friends moved out of town, I dont have a license and I am stuck in the house till I can get a job. Any Advise for what I could say to my family to get them to understand why I game because it is just getting to dramatic for me.


I think they might be worried about the effect this could have on your job opportunities. When you spend all your time gaming, your social skills slip, your temper gets shorter, you don't spend as much time on personal hygiene and you generally become quite narrow-minded. Well, that's my experience with my aspie brothers anyway. One of them was unemployed for five years and I think his PC addiction played a large part in that. He didn't even have regular hours of sleep, he could spend like 30hrs at a stretch hosting his role playing and quiz game stuff online.

Try to find out a bit about what employers look for. I think you need to understand why your Mum and sister feel the way they do, not try to change it. It's nice that they care about you enough to show concern really.



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31 Jul 2011, 9:32 pm

Thebigrage wrote:
Recently I graduated from high school, now I am looking for a job and trying to figure out how to get my room clean, in the mean time my interest is all that I have to do. I am a Video gamer I love video games and I enjoy them. However my mom and sister think that I game too much and that I am a game addict. They think that my gaming is a bad thing. I have been Diagnosed for AS for years, so I am having difficulty in finding why they are upset and worried about me. All my friends moved out of town, I dont have a license and I am stuck in the house till I can get a job. Any Advise for what I could say to my family to get them to understand why I game because it is just getting to dramatic for me.


What, you don't have legs?


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MudandStars
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31 Jul 2011, 9:58 pm

My advice would be to get the stuff you need to get done first thing in the day, maybe have a list and cross things off/keep a record so that you can prove you've been doing stuff. I'm guessing that job search would be the number one priority with this, but doing the odd chore could be appropriate too. If you do the washing or something a couple times a week they may be more inclined to think you're 'doing something' by way of working on your life skills and being contributing to the house somewhat. You may already be doing this, but if not it may be useful for public relations.


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draelynn
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31 Jul 2011, 10:18 pm

Obsessions rule your life and make normal living impossible - think living on your games 24/7, unshowered, eating takeout in your mothers basement for the rest of your life.
Passions are things that enrich your life but don't control it.
Hobbies are things you do occassionally to pass the time.

The only difference between these things is intensity. If you can put the game down and get yourself out of hte house to look for a job, you should be ok. If you spend every waking moment away from your game console with sweaty palms, daydreaming about finally sitting down and playing... you may have a problem.



SammichEater
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31 Jul 2011, 10:39 pm

MudandStars wrote:
My advice would be to get the stuff you need to get done first thing in the day, maybe have a list and cross things off/keep a record so that you can prove you've been doing stuff. I'm guessing that job search would be the number one priority with this, but doing the odd chore could be appropriate too. If you do the washing or something a couple times a week they may be more inclined to think you're 'doing something' by way of working on your life skills and being contributing to the house somewhat. You may already be doing this, but if not it may be useful for public relations.


This is what I do, and I can confirm that it works.


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Thebigrage
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03 Aug 2011, 7:37 am

it is not that I don't spend time on Personal Hygene I just have a tendency to rip my room apart whenever I loose something important in there. I am going to clean this weekend when my cousins and nephew aren't here, (we babysit.) As far as gamming too much not to find a job, I just don't have any good transportation to any areas to get applications my family is very busy so I am scheduling a job hunt next week with them. (just for me and maybe my sister that is) I have been applying online to jobs, as far as the walking goes i got about a 10 mile walk to the nearest store. Walking really isn't in my favor. I live pretty much in rural area, ( I am literally down the street from a goat farm.) but I appreciate the advise except for the whole ignore them till they go away advise, I love my family I don't want to be rude to them dude.