NTs and Conforming?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't understand why NTs are obssesed with conforming? Conforming has very little reward and i don't get why people would want to drift through life being unnoticed and not actually gaining anything out of it by following the crowd.

The reward for conforming is being allowed to belong within the group. For people who are very social, being inside of, rather than outside of the group is worth whatever quirks have to be given up (or hidden).

Well actually conforming generally makes life easier. When people see conformity they know what to expect moreso than when they see a non-conformist, and you get treated differently. People know you will abide by certain rules, 'the common understanding'.
On the flip side non-conformists tent to make the changes and breakthroughs that affect conformists the most which is an irony.

I never thought it was cool to be like everyone else. Why do people think that? Who are the cool people in life? Weird folks like Lady Gaga.

I really doubt all NTs are obsessed with conforming......people in general tend to conform.

This.

The only ones obsessed with conforming are those that can't conform but desperately want to. Most NT's conform effortlessly. No obsession required.

I would not really be able to conform even if I did want to......I mean sure as a child I felt bad when no one wanted to talk to me or play with me so I kind of wished I could be more like a normal person. But since then I have found even when I try to kind of fake it in a group I just end up getting pissed off because I find typical behavior rather annoying. So I just stopped wasting my time with it.

I've stopped playing that pointless game a year and a half ago.

what do you mean "conforming" exactly?

I rather be the leader than the follower. If I had better social skills I would not "conform" but I would use my social skills to convince people into approving of my ways and maybe even get them to adopt them themselves.

The problem with being a leader is the crowd of people that follows you. Crowds give me the heebee jeebies.

I'm not sure what is meant by conform here. I'm not sure I have the ability to mentally conform. Thoughts and thinking and I see things, I mean.
I prefer looking at the world from the outside. I have a theology built around it (and I like it).

I would only conform the minimal amount necessary to relate to people. I do not want to lose my personality and become part of the herd. Avoid herd mentally people.

So every NT I know says the same thing. They want to be "individual" and NOT part of the herd. The whole "goth" culture is an example of what I mean. What make this an NT/Aspie thing?

I've always lived by 'neither follower nor leader be'.

Yep....it can range from rational stuff like traffic rules to seemingly insane stuff like grey suits.

I have less of a problem conforming if I can see the point, and if the conforming itself doesn't give me any specific difficulty. The "point" could be something as pragmatic as "look, these lunatics have got things set up so that you'll only get the goodies if you do it like that." I've been told that there's something weird about the way I never really embrace conformity though.....it seems most people kind of believe in conformity, and they internalise the beliefs and ethics of "the group," while for me it's just an unfortunate accident of life, it's a script I sometimes have to run, to fool the idiots. And I'm quite happy to be seen as eccentric, that's a badge of honour.

I can't explain some of the sillier examples of conformity. I don't know why wearing a grey suit would make the grey-suit community feel more at ease with you, or why so many people think that school uniforms keep the kids orderly when there's no hard evidence for that. It's been a soap-box issue for me for most of my life, deepdown I hate pressure to conform to irrational stuff. Anyway, at least the politically-correct brigade is vaguely on my side.....we're supposd to conform to the ethic of celebrating diversity, aren't we?