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immortalwarrior
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28 Aug 2006, 6:48 pm

ok i have a theory and have always wondered what would happen if 2 people that have aspergers a man and a woman mate and they have a child what the child would be like? I mean asperger people are very smart so 2 smart genes combined wouldnt that create a super smarter child? Just think about it i mean is there anyone on this message board thats married with children who has aspergers and your spouse also has aspergers? i mean i know its mostly us males that have aspergers but ive just always wanted to know what happens when 2 aspie people make love and have children what the children would be like. I want to marry someone like me that has aspergers but women that have aspergers are hard to find.



Fraya
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28 Aug 2006, 7:37 pm

Well they were never diagnosed but I think both my parents had AS.. made for a really weird childhood but otherwise Im pretty normal.. other than having AS.

I guess I am a little odd because unlike most auspies I dont have a single field I excel at.. my IQ is higher than normal but not abnormally so (~140) but when they tried to gauge my aptitude scores they couldnt find a test I wouldnt max out the scale on in every category (even the military ones).

Genetics arent as simple as A+B=A+B but generally speaking putting two people together with abnormal genetics does produce an offspring with a higher chance of also having abnormal genes (what that abnormality is though can be pretty random).


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Mnemosyne
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28 Aug 2006, 8:33 pm

I don't know if you've seen this or not (it's old so I figure everyone has seen it before), but if not, here it is:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aspergers.html

One of the things that they discuss is that basically the more "aspie-like" or "geek" characteristics the parents have, the more "autistic" the child seems to be. When two parents who are just kind of smart and kind of geeky have a kid, they have an aspie kid. I think it would follow (and based on the article, it seem like this is the case) that if two aspies have a kid, the kid is going to be more "severely" autistic, whether that's that they just have very pronounced aspie-ness, or whether they're fully non-verbal or low-functioning, I don't know.

EDIT: I personally would be afraid to have a kid with another aspie, because I would be afraid that I would end up with a very low-functioning child.



MomofTom
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28 Aug 2006, 8:48 pm

Mnemosyne wrote:
I don't know if you've seen this or not (it's old so I figure everyone has seen it before), but if not, here it is:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aspergers.html

One of the things that they discuss is that basically the more "aspie-like" or "geek" characteristics the parents have, the more "autistic" the child seems to be. When two parents who are just kind of smart and kind of geeky have a kid, they have an aspie kid. I think it would follow (and based on the article, it seem like this is the case) that if two aspies have a kid, the kid is going to be more "severely" autistic, whether that's that they just have very pronounced aspie-ness, or whether they're fully non-verbal or low-functioning, I don't know.

EDIT: I personally would be afraid to have a kid with another aspie, because I would be afraid that I would end up with a very low-functioning child.


Our family is kind of like that. I am an undiagnosed Aspie while my husband is mostly NT. He's the computer guy but several people in his extended family are suspected Aspies to varying degrees.

Our son is 3 and is HFA but may level out to AS as time goes on. He has made a lot of gains in the past six months that it's hard to pin a lifelong label of HFA. Time will tell. The jury is still out on our daughter. It would not surprise me in the least bit if she turns up AS.


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immortalwarrior
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28 Aug 2006, 9:04 pm

one of my key problems when i was a kid was that i couldnt handle changes and anything that was new, for example the change of different clothes, driving a different direction or walking a different direction it was like death for me up until i was about 5 years old then its not that i was obsessed with the same thing its that i was Fearful and terrified and mortified of a change of things. I didnt understand why or what or how these things came into place.



DelicateCatastrophe
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29 Aug 2006, 12:11 am

While it would likely increase the chance of having an AS kid, that isn't to say they would be MORE AS... For example, two people with dark skin don't create children with SUPER dark skin, and two blue eyed people could have a child with green eyes, or blue, but the blue eyes would not be extra blue. Two people with dwarfism are more likely to have a child that is a little person than average height couples, but the child would not be half as tall as the parents. The gene is either there or not (like an on/off switch.) Sometimes there are different levels of expressivity of a gene, but most of the time it is either the phenotype or carried or absent.



KimJ
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29 Aug 2006, 12:30 am

Well, I have read that autism occurs due to a genetic combination. So, the "more" autistic genes you have (combined) the more autistic your child. While I relate to Asperger's more than NT, I had no apparent/obvious developmental delays. I was socially awkward and still have a hard time reading people, relating to them etc. My husband had autistic traits as a child but "snapped out of it" as a teen. We both have sensory issues that we have dealt with on our own. However, our son is autistic. Initially, he was considered "moderately" autistic and the last dx said "borderline"/almost not autistic. Lately, he has been showing more physical autistic traits again.



immortalwarrior
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29 Aug 2006, 2:59 am

so how did you and your husbands meet? my question refers to the 2 ladies that posted. Ive found out rather difficult being a person with AS and disability to find someone to date. Girls that i meet either say im weird or that im not good looking enough. So ive always wondered how do AS and people with autisim manage to get married. People to piss me off said i should marry a girl who has down syndrome or is mentally ret*d in wheel cheer since thats what people considar me is ret*d :'(



appassionata
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29 Aug 2006, 5:53 am

Hi

“so how did you and your husbands meet?”

We met at University – we were both studying for a degree in computer science. All of the other girls on the course seemed N.T. though (or at least had much better social skills than me) so I don't think that being good at technical things necessarily means you're a geek or have AS.

“know what happens when 2 aspie people have children”

I don't think that my hubby has AS (well maybe a little, but more NT) however we still produced two autistic sons. Whilst I love my children dearly, I have to say that autistic children are much harder work than NT ones. Things are getting better as they get older, but I have gone through some very difficult times with them.

“I want to marry someone like me that has aspergers”

I think it's a bad idea to be so restrictive. Just find someone that you like. Anyway, I suspect that there are a whole lot of people out there who don't even know that they have AS. I didn't realize until I'd had my children and researched into autism.



larsenjw92286
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29 Aug 2006, 7:48 am

I wonder that too!

I would guess the child would be equally as smart as the couple.


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MomofTom
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29 Aug 2006, 9:20 am

I met my husband in college. Frankly, I had just gotten out of a horrible year due to the opposite sex and was not even looking for a relationship when I met my future husband. We met through a mutual friend. He was very nice toward everyone and did not have the typical aggressive male personality. As far as I can tell, he is very social and NT.

He has told me before that I remind him of his mother's personality. That said, she suspects herself of being an Aspie. Maybe it is my husband's experience with the personality traits that helps him understand my point of view on so many things?


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29 Aug 2006, 11:58 am

I don't know how I'm going to get married. With my AS and sub-par looks, my future is looking pretty grim. For now, my plans are to get into a serious relationship with the first girl who likes me. As long as she's human and has all the parts in place, she'll fit my standards.



KimJ
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29 Aug 2006, 2:31 pm

My husband and I were introduced by his then-wife. Long story, but she was openly seeing other people. She and I had met through a friend, she didn't like me but pretended she did. She made what she thought were derogatory comments about me to her then-husband and he was interested. We met and went out. I decided not to date him but he left his wife (was going to leave her anyways) and we started dating several months after that.

He looks "NT", I guess. He is very handsome and for a while was very fashion conscious. He is a good speaker. He had been married to 2 women that walked all over him and due to extreme family situations (massive abuse, neglect, lack of emotional support) he didn't know that he was in a relatioship he could get out of. They managed to convince him that he was a jerk, a weirdo and a lots of other "adult" problems that weren't his problem.

We have trouble with emotional situations and communication. But when we talking "shop", intellectial issues, we are total soulmates.



immortalwarrior
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30 Aug 2006, 1:31 pm

I feel extremly lonley and depressed and i see my problems and i realize i have major problems like my last gf that was online who lived 5 hours away when she left me i ended up having dreams and nightmares and heavy anxiety about her and i couldnt stop thinking about her and my obsessions became worse and now shes seeing some other guy and that hurts me and makes me very very very angry. If this relationship were in person i probably would beat the guy up in person thats how angry it makes me because she said she loved me and i believed her i cant believe i still cry about her to this day. I miss her so much i mean if i had a choice right now between winning a 10 million dollar lottery and having her id rather be with her. all my depression has brought me illness like high blood pressure and heart problems i am constantly stressed.


:cry:



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30 Aug 2006, 2:08 pm

Just remember shes seeking her own happiness.. if shes not with you thats because she feels she can be happier elsewhere.. if you really love her you'll be happy for her because her happiness would be most important to you.

If you did have her and she was forced to stay with you against her will and was miserable could you really be happy yourself?

Let it go.


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immortalwarrior
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30 Aug 2006, 3:00 pm

you have no idea how she misled me how she told me she loved me and how she said we were going to be together i was so convinced that my dreams were comming true and the walls of reality came crashing down :cry:



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