So afraid my friend will find out that I have AS

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I've been friends with someone for a few months, and she thinks I'm a ''normal'' person, and I haven't told her at all about having a disability because I felt I didn't need to. I know she thinks I'm NT because I am that good at hiding it with friends, and she often moans about strange people and the people she does know aren't strange. So in that case, I can't be that strange in her eyes.

But we are both on job-seekers, and she doesn't know about all the help that I am getting behind my job-seeking. I still go to the same job centre, but I see a disability employment advisor, and also I have a personal employment counsellor who comes to my house whenever I get an application form, so he can come and help me fill it out. He also helps out with interviews, and he can tell the employers about me and my needs, because he says that having someone like him getting involved actually increases chances to give people with disabilities jobs. It is all good, but the trouble is, my friend always gets appointed for an interview at the same place on the same day as me, and she then says that we walk there together then meet eachother again after, and I just know that she's going to see my employment counsellor come out of the interview room with me. And she's seen him before after a career open day, and I had to lie and say that he's just a friend of mine whom I saw there. But I can't say that again, because this time she will see him come out of the interview room with me. Also, she likes to collect application forms then fill them out with me, and I can't get out of it. On application forms, I've got to tick the disability box, because it's always best the interviewer is aware of my disability.

But I don't want to tell my friend, because she is going to wonder why I didn't tell her before, if it's enough to need somebody with me at interviews. I just find it really difficult to look at a friend in the eye and say, ''I have Asperger's Syndrome, it's a form of Autism''. I don't know why. I just cannot do it. I don't even like talking about it to people. But she's going to find out that I have this sooner or later. I've done such a great job at hiding it in behaviour and speech, and I am happy to carry it on, I mean, for me it doesn't take up that much effort. I have got an anxiety disorder, which she knows about because I have told her that, (because, for all she knows, just because I suffer with my nerves doesn't necessarily mean I have Autism), and anyway she says she knows another person who suffers from depression and anxiety. But I'm not sure if having just a nerve/anxiety problem is enough to need help in interviews and be classified as a disability on application forms.

Ohhh, why can't I just have no disabilities??! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! Anyone get advice? Those of you who are extrovert Aspies or are ashamed Aspies, what would you do if you was in this sticky situation?

As a (now) extrovert aspie, I can tell you what I would do in this situation. There's no real reason to go out of your way to tell your friend that you are an aspie, but there's no real reason to hide it either. Try to treat it as if being an aspie isn't very special one way or another. You've been friends with this person for a while now, and I doubt that learning that you are an aspie will much change her perception of you. Most of my friends know I am an aspie, but none of them would have been able to tell if I hadn't told them, and nobody treats me differently because of my condition. So, be honest, but not necessarily forthcoming; and good luck!

You think way to much about this. A good friend won't care. A friend that changes their opinion of you because of Asperger's was never a friend to begin with.

More important is how and why you tell a person you have Asperger's. Since we autistics are so terrible at reading and understanding social information, it is likely that most of your anxiety over this is based on faulty interpretations anyway.

Let her know about it.
I dont mean get in her face about it, or make an emotional confessional about it or anything like that.
But if it comes up in conversation-let it come up- like its no big deal (becasue it IS no big deal).

If she disowns you as a friend then she was no friend to begin with.
If she doesnt disown you than she is a true friend.

Simple as that.

Actually you go me thinking about myself when I was your age.
That was before even shrinks ever heard of asperger's.
Back then if you had asperger's everyone thought that EVERYTHING in the world was wrong with you.
Nowadays if you have it people realize that no, its just that you have ONE thing wrong with you- and everything else stems that one thing.
A big improvement.
Kinda like the difference between being " a drunk", and being "an alcoholic" ( the first is a failure of character, the second is a disease that you are "bravely struggling against"- the same thing but not the same thing Lol!).

When I was about your age I became best buddies with a guy who probably a lot like your friend. High functioning with a high opinion of himself and Very judgmental. But looked up to me in many ways. Which was kinda stressful. After some years he moved ot another city. He would call me but I allowed the friendship to fade away.

IF back in the day I had been diagnosed with AS (as I was a couple months ago late in life) would I have wanted my buddy to know I had it back then?

The answer is probably yes. It probably wouldve made things easier. We might still be friends.

I enjoyed reading all your advice.

But I still feel embarrassed at the thought of telling her about it. I don't know why. It's a bit like when people are diagnosed with cancer, and they don't really like anyone but their close family to know about it.

I will just have to wait and see what happens.