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johnsmcjohn
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10 Aug 2011, 11:38 pm

I have noticed that more often than not, I do not respect people until they have proven themselves to be worthy of that respect. And when I don't respect someone I cannot take anything they say seriously. Doesn't matter if they're a professor, employer, or even a judge. How is your perception of people when you first meet them?



Tuttle
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10 Aug 2011, 11:47 pm

There is a default level of respect that people start with. From this point it can go up or go down. Default level of respect is not enough for me to trust the person with things to do with myself, but is enough that I assume that they are a decent human being who means well and won't be deliberately hurting anyone.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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10 Aug 2011, 11:55 pm

johnsmcjohn wrote:
I have noticed that more often than not, I do not respect people until they have proven themselves to be worthy of that respect. And when I don't respect someone I cannot take anything they say seriously. Doesn't matter if they're a professor, employer, or even a judge. How is your perception of people when you first meet them?

I try to respect all people and treat them the way I want them to treat me.



Scandium
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11 Aug 2011, 12:00 am

I treat people with different levels of respect mostly the same. I usually don't talk to people anyway (unless they talk to me). It's just that I'm more likely to try to start a conversation with people whom I respect more, because I believe that what they say is more important or useful.



purchase
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11 Aug 2011, 12:09 am

I believe everyone is the same being since we're all "I" and so everyone deserves to be treated with utmost respect, like Ana said, like I would want to be treated.

Also you do yourself a disservice if you don't do this and look with eyes that perceive the best in people because you miss out on an awful lot of goodness that way.



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11 Aug 2011, 12:13 am

What proves them "worthy" of respect in your eyes? Intelligence? Kindness? Certain political views? Deciding not to respect someone until they meet your criteria is rather like saying someone is guilty until proven innocent. It makes you less friends and friendly acquaintances overall, and it keeps you from associating with people who you would otherwise learn from.


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johnsmcjohn
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11 Aug 2011, 12:17 am

sacrip wrote:
What proves them "worthy" of respect in your eyes? Intelligence? Kindness? Certain political views? Deciding not to respect someone until they meet your criteria is rather like saying someone is guilty until proven innocent. It makes you less friends and friendly acquaintances overall, and it keeps you from associating with people who you would otherwise learn from.


I find two things worthy of respect: Kindness and intelligence. And if I have to pick one, I'd choose kindness.



Scandium
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11 Aug 2011, 12:20 am

sacrip wrote:
What proves them "worthy" of respect in your eyes? Intelligence? Kindness? Certain political views? Deciding not to respect someone until they meet your criteria is rather like saying someone is guilty until proven innocent. It makes you less friends and friendly acquaintances overall, and it keeps you from associating with people who you would otherwise learn from.

Everyone discriminates. That is the basis of friendships. I'm not saying we should all push away people we don't like yet. Just that some people are worth listening to and some aren't. I wouldn't listen to someone spouting insults at me and I would have more of an incentive to listen to people who, in the past, have given me valuable information.


johnsmcjohn wrote:
I find two things worthy of respect: Kindness and intelligence. And if I have to pick one, I'd choose kindness.

I'd choose only kindness. People can be good without being "intelligent."



pree10shun
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11 Aug 2011, 12:30 am

I respect those who respect me. So according to me it's supposed to be earned.



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11 Aug 2011, 2:44 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlwbiFusRhY[/youtube]



jackbus01
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11 Aug 2011, 3:06 am

Tuttle wrote:
There is a default level of respect that people start with. From this point it can go up or go down. Default level of respect is not enough for me to trust the person with things to do with myself, but is enough that I assume that they are a decent human being who means well and won't be deliberately hurting anyone.



Exactly This.
Start with a default level and adjust upward or downward based on behavior. I try my best not to have bias in people to start, but it may still may happen.



Tracker
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11 Aug 2011, 3:22 am

Respect is deserved

Reverence and regard is earned.


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11 Aug 2011, 4:07 am

I am split on this, I think a lot of people confuse fear with respect when they clearly are not the same thing and a lot of people expect respect even though they do not give it and a lot of people abuse that respect...

Respect is actually one of the hardest things to gauge for anyone, not just us as it changes seemingly every few minutes :/

There are very few people I give out and out respect to before they start wrecking it and that is medical staff of all levels (since they do an amazing job), teachers to some degree though not most of the ones I had since they were mostly assholes and firemen, who routinely put themselves in fire to get our asses to safety if we are up scat creek.

People are always banging on about being in the army, and though I think it is an admirable job I don't have this all consuming passion and reverence for them...for the most part they are simply puppets to industry and don't actually spend any time on home ground actually protecting their home ground and country. They are generally off in other countries bullying them on the say so of politicians who will happily lay down their lives for their wallets.

In my home country right now for instance we have rioting all over the place, yet no army has been called on because they are STILL all in Afghanistan and Iraq looking for oil. Since Osama is no longer with us.

As I said earlier though, my estimation of respect is forever changing so tomorrow it could be completely different.



MudandStars
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11 Aug 2011, 4:26 am

Theoretically at least I think it's both, there's a certain amount people deserve for being human beings with thoughts/feelings/dreams etc.. On top of that there's respect they earn by how they treat people/live their life etc....


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11 Aug 2011, 4:44 am

purchase wrote:
I believe everyone is the same being since we're all "I" and so everyone deserves to be treated with utmost respect, like Ana said, like I would want to be treated.

Also you do yourself a disservice if you don't do this and look with eyes that perceive the best in people because you miss out on an awful lot of goodness that way.



I like this answer.

Although I think people demand respect these days, without necessarily understanding that their actions can make people feel less respectful towards them. I'm thinking in particular of London rioters I've seen on tv, complaining that they are not respected, while engaged in violence against their community.

So to some extent respect does have to be earned. But I prefer to start off assuming the best of people.