Are AS people simply too nice?

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Most people on the spectrum seem to be among the least offensive people I've ever communicated with. Granted I know very few A.S. in my life, but I think I can be too nice for my own good at times. Is this true for you? Do you think it is a consequence of poor social awareness and trying to make up for social mistakes?

I know much of the world views being nice as being synonymous with being weak. I know I try not being too nice for fear of being taken advantage of at places like work and school. How 'bout you?

I like to think I'm quite nice. That being said, I was also raised with manners and was taught to treat everyone politely and with respect.

FYI, I have been called rude before because I misunderstand people and sometimes say inappropriate things that are quite blunt. Being rude (usually) is unintentional. I really do try to treat everyone politely and with respect though, and I hope most people see this.

In some situations/ according to some people, I am too nice; in other situaitons/ according to other people, I am not nice enough. But either way, I can't win.

Even more interestingly, one of my problems is that I don't communicate. Yet, according to one of my former professors who hates me, I communicate too much. So I didn't get one more year extension for postdoc for two opposite reasons. If you ask that specific prof, I shouldn't be there because I communicate too much. If you ask everyone else, I shouldn't be there because I don't communicate enough. But the bottom like is that I shouldn't be there, however way you slice it.

Depends on the situation. I try to be nice, but I frequently lose my patience and fail.

I can be rude and outright irritating at times but ever since I can remember I have been too nice to everyone most of the time. I was raised that way. Mom and dad are nice and polite -- especially mom. Mom's called naive and innocent by almost everyone she meets. Its the family I guess.

I`m very nice, sometimes too nice. I think every AS person I`ve met so far is extremely nice!

Just remember, when you are tempted to be "too nice", that letting people walk all over you doesn't benefit them, because it teaches them that walking all over people is okay.

i don't know. I've been yelled at for being rude when i thought i was being nice. although some people will treat me like a door mat.

What is nice? Nice is another person's judgement, and not necessarily an intrinsic trait. Nice is what other people decide it to be. As such, you have no control over what other people will judge to be "nice". I'd like to think that other people think that I'm nice, and I know my intentions are good, so that should be enough, right?

Maybe not. If I don't smile enough or if I appear neutral or indifferent then other people won't think that I'm nice. If I go too far out of my way to accommodate or gain favor then I may appear weak or obsequious. If I'm honest about why something probably won't work or be economical then I appear unpleasant or arrogant. I still don't have this "nice" thing figured out. Luckily my career position enables me to get to the center of issues and tell it like it is. Therefore, I've dropped most of the pretense of being "nice" and this dropping of pretense shows up in the way some of my patents are written. "Nice" just doesn't work for some of us, and so perhaps another archetype might be a better fit and/or more useful.

If I remember my childhood correctly (and my parents would agree), I was really sweet natured, and wouldn't intentionally harm anyone or anything. I seemed to have a quest to help others. I would sit for hours with the girl who was struggling with reading and the boy with speech difficulties, helping them. Those kids really appreciated it and kept coming back for more 'tuition'. I also love nature and was very protective of anything living. Other kids laughed as I tried to protect a young plant from being trampled and saw this as a sign of stupidity. At around 7yrs, I seemed to become aware of being laughed at for things like this and my other obvious differences. I became painfully shy, until just a few years ago. Now, I realise that I'm in the minority, although there's many like me here on WP. It's hard to live in a world which you care deeply about, when most others couldn't care less about anything, except the trivial.

My 5yr old daughter also has this mindset, but her nature is very different to mine. She exhibits care about things to the detriment of friendships. E.g. She was annoyed when her friend almost accidentally killed a fly. She went on and on about it until her friend was in tears. Her school report card hinted at this. I rationalised it with her not being cut out to be a politician, but she'll maybe make a great political activist.

I am naive about other people's intentions and always helpful, as well as loyal to people I care about. If that is nice, then I am nice. Also, I am sometimes qualified as being too nice or too chivalrous by other people.

I am told I am a very nice person. I think it kind of has its advantages and disadvantages though. When I make some sort of social mistake my personality probably earns me a bit more forgiveness since I think I appear more naive than intentionally harmful.... maybe?

I know I am too nice because I fear conflict.

But being too nice can cause big issues sometimes.

No; it's not about being "too nice" - that's generally what people who are just about to walk over you will say.

Really, it just means not standing your ground when you probably really should.