Need advice - Do you still line stuff up?

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I was just told that I should not allow my 3 yr old son to line up his toys, and I am a little confused.

I thought that lining them up was his way of coping with disorganization.

If you do or did line stuff up, why? And would it have been beneficial or detrimental if someone had stopped you from doing it?

I still line things up, and I don't think it's a good or bad thing.

Tim

I have to have my entire desk and papers on 90 degree angles. I see no harm in it.

I line up everything, even when I sit in a place I've never been, I line up walls, windows and columns ( I re-position myself ), pencils and pads, magazines, lamps, etc..... I see no problem with it, if it helps me to concentrate on the reason for being there in the first place.

Making a child stop things that are harmless, reminds me of the old days when they tried to make every left handed kid into a righty, or when they were still discouraging deaf kids from using hand motions or sign language. They are just trying to make the child seem normal in their eyes, regardless of the impact on the child. I would resist the notion, vehemently. That's just my feeling on the matter.

But, I'm no psych, so WTF do I know?

I think you should leave him alone. You're right, it probably calms him down, and even if it didn't, stopping whatever comes naturally to him can never be good.
I do it sometimes, and I don't know why, but I think I wouldn't like it if someone stopped me.

Hi

My eldest son (7) used to do this when he was younger, but he doesn't do it any more.

In the N.A.S. Early Bird course, it recommends ignoring repetitive behaviours (like lining things up) unless they're spending so long on it that it prevents them from doing other things.

Yeah, then I think it would qualify as some sort of OCD, and you might want to find out why he's doing it; if something's stressing him out or whatever.

Yeah Ive always lined things up its very comforting and calming. As Ive gotten older Ive become able to cope with disorganization a lot better so I only really do it when Im tense now.

Its a way for him to relieve stress and make his environment more comfortable for him dont interfere unless as others have stated its to the point of being an obsession.

I had countless OCD rituals as a child. I don't remember them all but the one that I recall the best is that, if I touched something with one finger, I would have to touch it with all the other fingers to "even them out". Then I would have to touch them all again evenly, 7 more times for a total of 8. Then I would have to do it with the other hand. Sometimes I would be touching all my fingers with my thumb in this way.

I think what was going on in my head, was that the sensation of touching something kind of remained with my finger tip like it was still touching something. In order to get my mind off that sensation, I had to drown it out with more touching. The whole process was akin to evening out energy in my body. I was really nuts about this ritual. It comforted me, but as I got older I became more concious of it and started to feel it was causing me undo stress.

Without ever telling anyone about it, I began a process to break myself of it. I would purposefully touch something with my index finger and conciously NOT do the ritual, then I would touch it again with the same finger and mentally repeat to myself that my finger has not changed to be any different than the other fingers. It was like I was laughing defiantly in the face of God. It was personally inspiring somehow, like the first steps to becoming a master of myself. It's one of the best things I ever did for myself.

Oh crap. I got side-tracked with my little story and forgot how I was going to relate it back to your situation.

My advice is to allow him his rituals because he is comforting himself in ways that may not make sense to you. However, as he gets older and communication with him is better, start talking to him about his rituals like you just find it interesting and your curious. Get him to go through to logic and explain to you why he does it. Perhaps you can help him to find some comfortable place where he comes to the logical realization that his ritual isn't really necessary. My guess is there is something he's anxious about that this relieves for him that makes sense to him. If he becomes more conciously aware of what's causing him anxiety and you are able to help him to not have that anxiety, the ritual will be an unecessary task that is just using up his personal time and energy.

Well crap. I forgot that I've replaced that ritual with a couple others that are more discrete, so discrete that I kind of forgot that I still do them. Now I tap my teeth togther in four specific spots in the same way. The four spots have replaced the four different fingers. I also have a nervous habit of putting my hands together, fingertips touching and snapping my fingernails against the fingernails of the other hand in the same pattern-- eight times, or 2 cubed.

Last edited by Dalebert on 08 Sep 2006, 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And thats the best way to do that sort of thing.. unless you are the one who wants to break the habits you'll never be rid of them.

Im happy that you were successful.

All too often I hear people say they cant change things about themselves that need to be changed but in reality they simply dont want to because the self-retraining is uncomfortable or difficult.

If I were someone who mattered Id say I was proud of you

I sometimes find myself lining things up, but I'm too preoccupied to do it anywhere near as much as I did as a child. I don't know why I did that. It hasn't harmed me so I don't mind.

Well ASD organization and OCD arent really the same thing.. ASD's habit of lining things up isnt really a ritual like in OCD because it does serve a purpose.

The ASD brain simply dislikes disorder and lining things up makes them more visually organized and less distressing.

Perhaps, but OCD is listed among comorbities for ASD and ASD is definately not black and white for everyone. It seems to me that there are things causing stress for an ASD mind that don't distract most NT minds. In my case, I think it was related to my hypersensitivity, the fact that the memory of touching something remained with my finger. It seems related to the stress I get if I try to wear a watch or if my lanyard touches my neck. The sensation of touch is far more distracting to me than to the typical NT.

I've always made sure my coffee mats are square with the corners of tables. Recently I tried to get used to having the mats not square to the corners. Unfortunately all I suceeded in doing is changing the angle that made me satisfied. I still adjust them to this new angle every time I notice that the're slightly askew from the new right angle. I agree with those who think this behaviour is nothing to worry about. My friends find it quaint behaviour. I also feel compelled to pick up bits of fluff from carpets and specks of dust from tables.