Introductions to socialization?

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I was unsure of whether this would be the correct forum to post my question in, but the social skills forum seemed barren and I wanted an answer. I'm looking for good ways to build up my social skills. I was never much of a social butterfly as a child and I was never really pushed to be social. My Mom never socialized as a child and therefore did not really know of good venues to encourage me to socialize. I'm now seventeen which makes some of the more conventional methods for encouraging younger children to socialize a little irrelevant. I can't really ask my Mom to arrange play-dates and help me interact because I'm far too high functioning, if I'm on the spectrum, for that to be viewed as anything but a major turnoff for whoever I would be associating with. I don't really have any close friends so I can't attempt to bond and engage in non-scholarly activities with them. My main problem is that I don't make an active effort to find friends and I often times stutter and say the wrong things when I'm confronted by a potential companion. What are some suggestions for activities for someone who wants to learn some social skills and might or might not be on the spectrum.

Any kind of theater: acting, puppetry - even mime or circus arts. Find a local youth theatre group in your area and join; it's amazing how many theater people are aspies; find the nerdiest group you can. Take a few acting classes.

You could also try speech classes - I took a class in college called "interpersonal communication" that turned out to be incredibly useful. Sometimes social psychology classes are helpful.

Learning scripts is a good way to start learning social skills, though it won't help you immediately.

Activity based social events are good. Depending on what you're interested in this may be anything from joining a local chess club to a martial arts club.

For me, I try to avoid social events where the purpose is to socialize (e.g. house parties).

You may also want to look into Toastmaster clubs (I'm thinking of doing the same).

I considered Toast Masters, but it seems that their focus is on building "leadership" skills and training you to be a better public speaker. I have no problems whatsoever with public speaking. I only have trouble with person to person speaking. I was in a tae-kwan-do class at the local Break the Barriers club, but it was a little difficult to socialize there given the fact that I was surrounded by children who were anywhere for 2-10 years younger than me. The only children my age had severe mental issues.

Ok. Chat rooms are another avenue I forgot to mention. Yahoo Chat has text based chat in rooms relating to specific topics, and there is voice chat too if you feel ready for that. I have been on Yahoo Chat for well over a decade and find it completely satisfies any kind of social need (especially when you keep coming back to a certain room and become familiar with the regulars). You can develop a sense of belonging to a group and knowing people and chatting with them without all the trouble of understanding facial expressions or any sensory issues etc. If you're very lucky they may even have a chat room named after your special interest -- can it possibly get any better than that!? And yes I find the exposure to social dynamics extrapolates very well to the real world.

Five suggestions

Rent the show The Hills, watch it, emulate the behavior of your gender on the show. You might find it really stupid and superficial. Same with Entourage, Mad Men, Dexter. Practice in front of a mirror as well because it helps to see what you look like and how you come off when you re-enact what you've seen.

Then, get a restaurant job that requires you to deal with real people. Try not to bring anything you've learned from The Hills into this job, but learn more from the people you work with.

Then get a job in any office environment. It'll most likely be hell but if you are lucky, you will find someone who displays appropriate office etiquette of the do's, dont's, the way you speak and approach people, etc.

It also helps to find a sport you can play competitively and join a recreational team.

Also enhance your thinking and speaking skills by reading and acting movie scripts, and screenplays.

Get all four and you will be a well- rounded person. You will know how to approach people, You will know how to deal with difficult people, how to build rapport, how to get to the emotional center of conversation, how to think on your feet, and how to act appropriately in a wide variety of different places and situations. Don't learn about it in a textbook because we learn by seeing and being in real life. It might tell you the what, how, and why but it is like learning a new language. I'd say the restaurant and office jobs are the most important though of the 5 things I've posted above.

Another avenue is to try Meetup.com to find groups of people whose interests you share.

Also, if you stutter (even if the stuttering isn't traditional stuttering) you might find a stuttering support group: http://www.nsastutter.org/connect/local ... Group.html