How quiet are Aspies

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People IRL are always telling me how quiet and "serious" I am. This has been the case ever since I was a child. Online I am able to be much more social and I'm able to discuss things and appear less serious. I think IRL I look "grim" constantly. People are always asking me, "What's wrong?" etc.

I am sometimes asked why I am not smiling or why I don't smile - and I thought I was

I don't talk much and I speak quietly. When I have to speak to a group, it is an effort to increase volume.

At social functions (now usually school parent nights I make a point of saying hello and asking about their kids etc, but soon run out of small talk. If there are 2 conversations going on around me, I have trouble following either and just try to look interested, esp. as I have trouble finding a gap to join in anyway.

I don't think so. I think you have something of a Mona Lisa look

Last edited by BazzaMcKenzie on 11 Sep 2006, 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A prime example of why you should never listen to "experts"

I dont know what kind of weird logic it took for him to come to that conclusion but hes got it backwards.

Logically speaking I dont see people who are uncomfortable with social situations being chatterboxes unless hes assuming they tend to typically respond in the NT way of talking too much when nervous.

I think aspies can be garrulous (annoyingly talkative) if they don't have enough social experience to notice they're boring the pants off the listeners.

PS- Can't resist... I just have to say that they'd probably notice if the pants flew off of someone.
I have a problem with idioms; even if I know the meaning I can't help seeing the literal side.

I talk too much and people tell me to be quiet after a while.

But the difference is an AS person will drone on and on about their current obsession while the way he said it he made it sound like they just love to gossip.

It all depends on my mood and what I am doing. I can be extremely quiet for hours, saying almost nothing. I can then get into a discussion and ramble on and on for over an hour. With me, it tends to depend on my mood at the time. I tend to be introverted for the most part, so my thinking is very deep, and if something strikes a chord within me, I can go from being talkative to quiet in a matter of seconds.

- Ray M -

I will go for long periods of time without saying anything except that required by either my job or common courtesy (where I remember it).

I do not do 'smalltalk' (as source) as it just never occurs to me and I would only start talking about my hobbies (reading, computers, studying).

I can join in smalltalk to a degree (as minor participant), providing the 'ooh' and 'aah' feedback people seem to need but trying to offer constructive solutions tends to let me down as people just want to let off steam and some take exception to intrusion.

If talking about a hobby (and it takes a surprising amount to get me talking about them) I'll talk reluctantly as I'd rather listen to other people talk about it while I 'download' the information for interesting points (especially regarding 70s & 80s tv sci fi, World Of Warcraft, Space Empires IV or C++ programming).

I tend to be a bit of a geek for huge reams of worthless facts, which seems to put people off balance when you insert a relevant fact into a conversation (I have to force myself to stop doing this).

That describes me perfectly. I'm 38 now and you'd probably not suspect me of AS, but I got defensive about it when people accused me of just that. It was so true though. I still have times when I'm saying something and people will just turn their heads away and ignore me. I'll repeat myself trying to get their attention, and they keep ignoring me. I have to wonder how annoying I must be for someone to be that blatant.

I've always been quiet especially around people I don't know. I don't like to talk unless I have to something to say. I'm always being told how quiet I am. Sometimes it suprises me since I thought I actually talked alot in the conversation. I'm more of a listener than a talker, but I don't like to listen to those who talk non-stop without taking a breath or people that talk loud in your ear on purpose. I had that happen once as if they thought I was deaf or something.

When people I know introduce me to others they say "She's the quiet one." Thanks alot. I hate that.

I'm very quiet too, the most untalkative in each group I am. Some people say I'm nice, other people ask "Why don't you talk?" and almost always I respond: "Because I don't have something to tell you/us"

When I was in high school, there was a girl that told me "You are very nice, but before I knew you well, I thought you were a selfish as*hole, cuz you didn't talk with me.

But I had a different experience when I was 12. I met a woman that my parents knew. That woman made me a lot of questions about me, because I was very quiet. Time passed and, one day, I did something wrong, something that a NT would never do it. My mom scolded me, and she told me:

"Do you remember Mrs. Palomo (the woman)? she told me you probably had a neurological disorder cuz you were extremely quiet with her. I told her it was your personality. But with this action, you are making me to believe what she said".

As you can see, Mrs. Palomo had the reason, but my parents didn't accept my situation. So, I think NTs can interpret your silence (or talkativeness) in a different way, but if they are intelligent, they will discover you are a great person