Special or Ill?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't live in my emotions, I live in my intellect, my cognicence. When I meet someone at work, for example a supplier, I don't find it easy - I find it very difficult. But that is exactly why I do it. I might look into their left ear, or at their adams apple rather than their eyes, and I was once told not to shake hands like a wet lettuce, so I shake firmly and look up becase every time I do it is a little personal victory. Any discomfort is soon followed by a sence of echeivement, another battle won.

When I learned I was dyslexic I had a choice to make; do I say "I can't do it 'cause I'm ill", or do I say "I can do it better 'cause I'm special"? Sure, I've ahd to work twice as hard to acheive half as much, but I do a lot better than most do.

Do they (the NT's the stupid people, the idiots who don't know how to use their own brains becuase they are too stupid or lazy) anoy me - of course they do. But I'm not about to let them hurt me! I take a breath and SUMO (Shut Up Move On) and I know I am the better person for it. This is my life and I don't have time to waste stressing about them when I could be patting myself on the back!

Having said all that I would be lying if I said I didn't get stresses out by it all, depressed by my lot, frustrated by my life or just plain Pi**ed off at everything. But I feel all these little victories allong the way are what keep me going.

Flame me if you like, agree with me or hate me. If you are more intelligent then the rest, wiser, SPECIAL, walk into a room with a sence of superiority, congratulate yourself for a hard task comleted honestly, peek out from behind your wall and feel elated by the fright you get and look that stranger in the face (Left ear or adams apple) shake his hand firmly and say Hello with the calm confidence you realy want to. Then go home feeling proud of yourself, not wrecked, as you have won a battle you CHOSE to take on. Tired - yes, worn down - NO NO NO! And even if you are the only one in the world who knows you faught it, knows you won it, GREAT, at least YOU KNOW!

Don't hide behind an ilness that makes you so special, so usefull, so amazing as a person. It is a double edged sward and it is totally up to you if your side defends you, or cuts your fingers.

Harsh perhaps? But it comes from the heart.

GreyArea

*applause*

But taken to extremes pride becomes arrogance so beware

I'm extremely proud of the progress I have made despite this challenge. I did it all on the assumption (a denial really) that I was "normal". Knowing myself better will help a lot with challenges in the future. Most importantly, I understand WHY I have such challenges.

I wonder how often AS becomes an enabler though. Already I can see myself avoiding certain situations that I probably would not have before I realized I had AS. Now it feels like I sometimes use it as an excuse, but I am trying to use moderation. I don't want to withdraw from life but at the same time I don't want to sacrifice too much of my individuality. I don't want to bend over backwards and make myself miserable trying to conform.

Quite rightly! Nice one!



That is my point, realy. Dont! Make yourself even prouder, stronger, and ultimately healthier and happier by winning a little victory by succeeding in their world, but by doing it your way.

Why go home miserable when you can go home thinking "Hey, wow, I did realy well there.... How great am I?"