Asperger traits that make it hard to access services

Post Reply New Topic

I am self-diagnosed with Asperger's, and would like to pursue a formal diagnosis and hopefully receive some assistance in overcoming the problems I am having. What I am finding though is that the issues I have, which I believe are related to the Asperger's, make it really hard to actually access these services.

I have a lot of trouble with making unscripted phone calls, have trouble expressing myself verbally in ways others understand, and find new situations very daunting. Yet to get help for this, I need to phone up to make appointments, go to unfamiliar doctor's offices, and somehow explain coherently what the problem is. If I manage to get through all of that, I don't know what happens after that, which given I have a need to plan & know all the details before I do anything if pretty daunting.

Has anyone else experienced this, and does anyone have any suggestions to make it easier?

If making a phone call or meeting someone it helps to think for a minute about what you're actually going to say to start. From there I usually find it all falls into place as the conversation goes on.

I still have issues with unscripted conversation at times. Not so much on the phone now but I've done podcasts and such where it's difficult to talk about and describe things on the fly.

I hate talking on the phone unless there is a specific purpose and the shorter the better Sometimes it helps to make a simple outline to keep you on track so you don't get side tracked. For me I got a little better at such things after being in Toastmasters for a while (thanks table topics!).

I already thought about this. It really is ironic.

My parents made my appointment for me despite me being 22...

Explaining "what the problem is" wasn't so much a thing for me - I saw an autism specialist. He asked questions and had me (and my parents) answer them, I didn't really have to explain why I thought I matched, because he was looking out for all those and had questions, and then gave me a full multi-hour evaluation.

I can totally relate. My inability to answer a phone without knowing who it is and what they want AND how I can facilitate the conversation has been the bane of my existence. I take full responsibility for the problems it has caused but no matter how hard I try, it hasn't gotten better. I've gotten better at recovering from the setbacks and I've learned to accept this "flaw" as I continue to work on it, but it makes me feel weak and embarrassed.

I tried to talk to my psychiatrist and he scoffed at the idea of me being diagnosed with aspergers at my age. I'm not seeking an official diagnosis (because I don't want to deal with the "red tape" that you're going through) and I'm not seeking additional medication or services. I just wanted to talk to him (or another dr who specialized in Aspergers) and utilize some of the tools (I'm great at following templates but I need help with direction on resources, so I won't re-invent the wheel) but he didn't react very well to me. In fact, I'm still confused as to why he didn't understand what I was saying. But, that's something I deal with in all social situations and I don't see him very often. The problem is- I really want help and I am very pro-active, but it's damaging to me to be pushed away from the few people I attempted to share this with. I guess I'll survive but at the same time, it causes me moments of despair and I feel isolated when I really like to be around people. Opps. Sorry. Got off topic.

My point being, it's ironic that in order to get the right assistance, it seems that we have to be able to articulate ourselves in a NT manner. The thing is, it seems that I'm able to explain myself quite well, but that's not the way others see it.

I hope I didn't end up making this about me, as my goal was to sympathize and commiserate. I think it's important that you don't give up and that if you feel this will help you, then you need to find out.

One way to try in getting an aspergers diagnosis is to overempahsis the social awkwardness. Actions speak louder then words. In fact, if u came into a docs office, clearly articulating how u have aspergers, it might be less convincing. You have to "show' them how u have aspergers. Dont make eye contact, talk in a monotone voice, go off on random one sided tangents, express your sensory issues, lack body language

When i got diagnosed with aspergers, I was in quite denial that I had social difficuties. But then the psych saw for her own eyes my social difficulties and gave me the diagnosis. Part of getting a diagnosis is the psych reading your body language(or lack of) not what you say. Cause an NT could come in, and convince the psych they got aspergers with all their well articulated explanations of how their so awkward. But in reality the NT might have something else and only be convinced they got aspergers due to low self-esteem issues.

I hate phones. I ask people to send me emails instead.

I find things like this hard. It's gotten really hard for me now, because, where I come from, once you reach 18 you have to speak on the phone to any services to do with you, and your parents aren't allowed to call on your behalf. I'm not expecting my mum to do these things for me, but it's just that I find it difficult to speak to official people over the phone, especially if it's concerning something like all my bank details or anything like that. My mum knows more about my identity than I do, probably because I still live at home.

I can totally relate to this, it took me 3 days of staring at the phone rocking to finally find the courage to phone the National Autistic Society for the first time and I shook for ages after.

Although I have been diagnosed informally by my sons Pddag consultant I am having ADOS done soon and I'm sooo scared! I think it's Ironic that from what I have read about the test they will tell me to do stuff like make up stories and I just can't do this!

At work I hate to answer the phone but I can if I have to as it's all scripted and I have learned it.

The only advise I have is take a deep breath and just do it, its horrible but it's over with quicker!

I would like some help from our local autism support group, for my daughter. I've tried to e-mail them and it bounced back. So, I'll have to call them. I've been putting it off for the same reasons as the OP.

I become gradually more comfortable with phone calls during the decades, although even now I have difficulty to say "XY speaking" or something like that at the beginning of the conversation. I have to think over the main points of my call beforehand in order to have a meaningful conversation, even then I tend to come off as a bit awkward. In one of those tests I've read a question that implies closing and rubbing the eyes or rubbing the ears while talking on phone is common among ASD people. Well, I consciously rub my eyebrows instead of my eyes to spare them...

To the question, I tried to show up on the phone as self-confident to the foundation that's going to evaluate me. I think they answered all my questions patiently, probably they are already used to speaking with odd people like me. My point is, speak up for yourself, no one else would. I plan to do this on the evaluation too, but for your sake, try to be as objective as you can. If things didn't turn out the way you expected, maybe it's better to seek for another professional, there'd be not much you could do if this was the case.

Except in some cases going into a doctor's office and clearly articulating how someone has asperger's is exactly how they got their diagnosis. In fact how they did that was one of the strongest reasons to label them such. Someone who knows enough about AS to be able to document why they match every symptom they match is an incredibly convincing case.

Just act like yourself. Don't "pretend" to be more Autistic like is being suggested here. You get more than a diagnosis, you also get suggestions on what will help you and you want these to be accurate. Overemphasizing only makes it more likely that you'll get misdiagnosed, including not getting a diagnosis because you're just faking.

I have exactly thesame experience. Thank god for my mother. Once the process started, they just asked questions which I tried to answer. None of the "what do you think are your problems" stuff.

Didn't have that problems with getting diagnosed - my parents made an appointment for me to get treatment because my PTSD was flaring up, and I happened to go on a monologue about why I thought I was autistic and got told I had PDD NOS.

But I have had that issue with getting services. At university I found that my autistic traits were making it hard for me to access disability student services. It's ironic - you'd think they'd be the most likely to understand about such issues, but actually most of the accessibility issues I had at university were with DSS.

I wouldn't have any services or an SSI application going if I had been left to my own devices. Other people (my mother, caseworker, and my SSI advocate) have done a ton for me. I've been maintaining my therapy and keeping my paperwork going when it needs to go, and that's just about my organizational limit.