help?

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Hi, I would really appreciate it if any of you could give me some advice.
Here's the situation. I have son age 19. He has a high IQ. He has anger and temper issues. He has a history of depression, meltdowns, shutdowns (like catatonic episodes) and low attention span. He has always failed to not only understand that other people have the right to have opinions different to his own, and to accept other people's points of view as valid.
He was arrested for hurting his ex girlfriend after some provocation, but mainly due to him "snapping" under pressure. He has been assessed by a psyciatric doctor who spoke to him for 30 minutes (after he had calmed down from extreme muttering, shaking, crying, violent thinking, delusional panic) and by 2 psyciatric nurses who had spoken to him for 30 minutes.
The conclusion was that he had no mental illness, had theory of mind so therefore did not have asperger's, showed no signs of obsessional behaviour, and was prescribed with anti-psychotic pills. and valleum.

My head is in bits, I was not able to take in what the doc was saying at the time, but since then I have thought about it and I am sure my son lacks theory of mind (or is at least using logic to work out the answers) and he is obsessive because it was not being able to stop thinking about the split up that drove him to this state.

I can't help thinking this doc could no way say someone did not have asperger's after a total of 1 hour of seeing him (he has never seen a doc with his problems before.
I can't understand how he considered that a pressence of theory of mind (at any level) makes a diagnosis of asperger's impossible.
I can't understand why the doc said there was no evidence of obsessional behaviour when my son always has to make things fair. If he feels he has been wronged, he will think of nothing else but evening the score until he has done.

please, I would really like some advice from anyone, especially anyone who has had any similar experiences.
The doctor said there were no treatments (I presume he meant pills) for as anyway, but surely if a person has diagnosed as, then sometimes knowing what the problem is is going to help them understand their limitations and forgive themselves for their mistakes.
EDIT- sorry, forgot to mention the doc said my son may have adhd)

Why not get him diagnosed by "real" doctor?

thanks for your reply,
I do want to get him assessed by a real doctor, but the gp just gave him valleum, and the psyciatric doctor was at the hospital. Are these not real doctors? I happen to know also that where we live, there are no doctors with experience of diagnosing asperger's in adults (it was my gp that told me that)
I amd getting panicy trying to work it all out, and I know I cant think straight under pressure. I have no Idea what I should do, but I know I need to do something.

I bet valium might be helpful to an extent. Probly not on a "take this everyday" basis tho. And antipsychotics? WTF? This guy is clearly just another psychopharmacist, and I'd get a second opinion right away if I were you.