maybe i am not an aspie...

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Nobody believes me... not even my step-mother when I came out to her today... she told me that I was just "grasping at straws". Maybe coming out was a huge mistake. Maybe all of my feelings are a lie.

I don't know what to do... I cannot get a diagnosis until I move out anyways because I have no money to do so. and now I am told that I am just, over-reacting...

I just don't know what to think anymore...

Does your step-mother actually know much about AS? She could be forgiven for thinking that you're "grasping at straws" if that isn't the case.

Otherwise, you know yourself best - look around and take a look at what you relate with and what you don't. Even make a list here if you wish, and then decide from there.

I don't think so... she wants to be a psychologist, but I don't think she knows much about aspergers.

whats a "list" and how do you make them?

A lot of people dont know much about AS, including psychologists, so its very possible your step mom does not know much about the subject.

When our kid's therapist told us she believed our kid had AS, she referred us to a neurologist for a diagosis, but she started treating her for AS before getting the formal diagnosis. She told us receiving behavior modification therapy would not harm her in case the diagnosis did not spport her beliefs. Maybe you can do the same. Start reading and trying to use techniques other Aspies use to handle your "issues". I cannot harm you, can it? Until you can get the money for an appropriate diagnosis.

Probably you do have AS and thats why your step mom does not believe you. My two Aspies tend to over react all the time, so with time you tend not to believe them.

The fact that you admit that you are undiagnosed (according to your profile) may have a lot to do with it...


... that alone puts your self-diagnosis in doubt. You may as well claim to have been abducted by space aliens.


"Coming out" before you have credible evidence provided by a trained mental-health professional may very well have been a mistake. It may have even been a mistake had you waited for the official diagnosis. Even with my own official diagnosis, I am extremely reluctant to tell my family, friends, and co-workers.


There is no reason to believe that your feeling are not real. Your interpretation of those feeling, on the other hand, may have been erroneous. Unless you are a trained mental-health professional in your own right, a second confirming opinion is the best way to go.


Is your step-mother a trained mental-health professional? No? Then her opinion means nothing, either. The opinions of other undiagnosed "Aspies" are just as worthless, as well.


I don't know, either. How soon can you move out? How soon after that can you get your official diagnosis? Is there a mental-health clinic at a nearby university that could provide a low-cost (or even free) professional diagnosis?

Iceveela, how old are you? Are you still in school? If you are, maybe you could get your assessment/diagnosis for free. Ask your school counselor. I did get my diagnosis for free, but I was paying money on a sliding scale related to income at the State-supported Mental Health Center near me, for treatment for depression. When my daughter told them that she thought that I might have Asperger's, they sent me to another State institution, the State Children's Hospital (all kinds of mental problems with kids under 18, and a residential place for kids who needed residential). I was 65, but that was where they could find an expert at Asperger's. That particular appointment never did wind up costing me anything. Maybe if you're in school, your school could do the same kind of thing for you.

Asperger's is a really new kind of diagnosis, given the time scale of adults, and many Psychologists can't do it. The DSM IV diagnosis criteria actually has its problems, so Tony Attwood writes. I was married to a Master's Degree Clinical Psychologist, in the sixties and seventies, and of course even the professional people had never heard of it. It wasn't named until 1980, though Dr Asperger did his original research and writing about the time I was born, and the DSM IV, the manual that most professionals depend on, didn't list it until 1994.

I am 19 years old and going to college in January...

At 19 years old you can qualify for reduced prices without your parents income being taken into account.

I assume, then, that you've already graduated from High School? If you're taking one more semester to make something up, the High School counselor still might help, but not if you've actually graduated. I guess then, you should wait and go to your college Health Center after you're enrolled. You still might be able to get it free.

That's what I was planning

Only you will ever know if you're an aspie or not. If you think you are, then you are. If you think you aren't, then that's fine too. There's nothing some idiot on the internet can do about it.

Everything is always going to be biased in some way besides pure logic. It is very possible to convince yourself either way simply by changing the word choice used to describe your symptoms.

There is never going to be an absolute answer, even with an official diagnosis. It still all comes down to your judgement.

So, is the OP an AI simulation of a blue-nosed anteater doing Elvis impersonations? By the above claims, as long as the OP thinks so, then that is what he is.

This is absurd. Belief proves nothing. Just because someone believes they have a particular syndrome, their belief does no make it so.

This "I believe, so it must be true" fallacy is the foundation of most religions. Has AS become the latest religious fad? I think so, because all it seems to take for someone to belong is to say "I believe".

It's like the total dipstick who came into the office last week claiming that he believed he was as good as any engineer, and that he should be promoted to that position. We tested his knowledge, and he failed completely. Then he claimed that knowledge isn't everything and that tests prove nothing. We asked him what his best qualification is, and he said "I believe in myself". Unfortunately for him, we on the promotions board know that belief proves nothing, while an examination (a demonstration of skill and knowledge) trumps all doubt.

We sent him back to the shipping department and told Security to keep an eye on him.

Get real. Get an official diagnosis.

I will admit, I laughed reading your post. While you present a very good point, there is a major fallacy in your argument.

Whether or not one is an AI simulation can in fact be proven. Whether or not one is a blue-nosed anteater can be proven. Do you have a blue nose? Do you eat ants? Is your name Elvis? These are all simple binary questions that can be proved with concrete facts.

AS is different. Proving that one has AS is impossible. Proving that one doesn't have AS is impossible. There are many aspies who can blend in perfectly with society. There are many quirky people with sucky social skills who are NT. Why do we say that they are aspies or NT's? Because we generally take their word for it. While believing that one is NT or AS does not give one that neurology, there is no way to determine whether they're lying or not.

The same applies for religion, although a bit differently. Believing in God does not make God exist, but arguing that God doesn't exist is impossible. All religious views are based on beliefs. Atheism is based on both belief and reason.

At some point, you just have to stop questioning things that can't be proven and move on with life. You'll only drive yourself crazy thinking in circles. You just have to trust your own judgement. Because you hesitate to do so, that only means that you're doing a good job viewing it from multiple perspectives.

Last edited by SammichEater on 30 Aug 2011, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This statement is so very WRONG that its absurdity is readily apparent.

First, AS is not faith-based (like a religion), it is either something you have or you don't - just like clinical depression, acrophobia, PTSD, or any other syndrome or disorder.

Second, belief proves nothing. Believing that you have AS does not prove that you do.

Third, If there is no discernible difference between the existence of a thing and its non-existence, then it is safe to claim that the thing does not exist.

Why are you implying that AS does not exist? Are you one of those who believes that we're all faking, even those of us with diagnoses by trained mental-health professionals? Are you afraid that a real diagnosis would shatter your dreams of being "special"?

That is not what I mean. Imagine 5 random people in your mind. Now, suppose one of them has AS. Try to find and prove which one. You won't be able to. Nobody is able to. The one not looking you in the eyes could just have social anxiety. The one being jittery could just have a caffeine buzz. Do you get what I'm saying? How does this translate to "AS must not exist at all?"

I don't have time to argue this all night. I need to get to bed soon. We will continue this discussion later.

Yeah, uh so...... You could not be more wrong on this one. If I was one of the 5 random people most any moron could pick me out. I was "discovered" by a psychologist who never had an AS person in his practice before. I was seeing him for grief therapy. When I went to see an ASD specialist (on his recommendation) her comment to him was, "OMG she is sooooooooo Aspergers." Unconvinced that I was Autistic I saw yet another. Since that time I have been in front of a dozen or more Autism professionals and not a one has any doubt.

It is VERY, VERY easy to see in some cases. This is a spectrum. If you are so far removed from the disorder part of ASD that a competent professional cannot see you with whatever method they use to assess, then you are not on the spectrum enough for a DX. Having the label means that you also have a disability due to the symptoms that you show...