"If I can do it, it's easy"

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When you learn a skill, or a concept, do you tend to file it away under "easy stuff" and are you surprised when others tell you it's difficult? I've always had problems accepting compliments and it's related to this, I think, I always scrutinise compliments for "validity". Things I can't do are "magic", and it's as if by me doing something, I prove that "anyone" can do it.

Is this a Theory of Mind thing? Something else?

I have this problem, too. I do try to remember that people have different areas of expertise.

I have a tendency to think that if I can do it, anybody can. But I think this might more stem from the issue that I hardly ever receive compliments so I tend to think of myself as average.

I am often baffled at how people can't see the obvious. I'm known in the office as an expert with computers and yet I've no idea why they don't pick up this stuff themselves. On the other hand, I can't tell people apart in meetings. Which is fine after two or even three, but a bit embarrassing when you meet them once every few months.

But I'm also not good at knowing when I know something. I've been complimented on my knowledge of topics that I've always felt I was only vaguely aware of.

Yes and no. The ability to consider the fact that others think and feel differently from ourselves is what ToM is really about. It isn't about knowing anything for certain.

The problem is lack of ToM isn't exclusive to Autism. Lot's of people nowhere near the spectrum lack certain aspects of ToM. I've found in my experience that this aspect is very common among all kinds of different people.

"If I can do it, anybody can" is a statement that shows up in all kinds of self-help books and programs. In that field it most often comes from people who once felt they weren't capable of certain things that later they figured out a way to accomplish. They look back on all their personality flaws and other obstacles they had to overcome, then assume that because they thought they couldn't, but then learned they could, that everyone else can do it to.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Just because one person found a way to overcome adversity, doesn't mean that way will work for everyone.

I do think that any time someone assumes that if something is easy for them, or found ways to overcome difficulties, whatever worked for them will work for everyone, is either lacking certain parts of ToM, or is simply choosing not to bother exercising ToM.

Video games. It's so second-nature to me that I am still baffled as to how beginners keep falling down pits requiring a simple jump.
Sorry, I'm just still annoyed at having grown up playing without challenging partners.

My son does this and it makes me crazy. He thinks learning Japanese is 'easy' when it is not. He says this about anything he is good at.

I don't know if it is an Aspie thing, or a low self esteem thing.

If I can do it, so can anyone else. I am paraphrasing madly and don't anyone take it the wrong way, but that is considered a low self esteem issue when you downgrade the things you are naturally good at it.

Take a bow and be proud of your intelligence and skills! Please!

I think I may have taken that attitude about some things when I was a kid. I seem to recall somebody (perhaps my Mother) admonishing me for telling someone that something was 'easy' just because I had a knack for it. It made me realize that the other person might be made to feel stupid (or at least feel that I thought they were stupid) because they couldn't do it as easily as I could.

By the time I reached adolescence though, I knew better than to say things like that because there were a great many things that other (NT) people found 'easy' that were impossible or at best excruciatingly painful for me to do. I got beaten with the 'What the f*ck is wrong with you? Everybody else can do this" stick so many times that I wasn't about to gloat just because there were a few things that did come easy. There were plenty more that didn't.

Even things that I have developed a skill for over time, I have a hard time taking too much praise for, because I'm acutely aware that no matter how good I am, there are a hundred others (at least) out there that (in my opinion) are much, much better than me.


To be completely honest, I am something of a spelling and grammar snob, but I think that has more to do with OCD than anything else.

Same here. People here say that the machines like me, but it's just really so simple, I don't know why people can't figure stuff out for themselves.

^^^I was going to post something about fixing computers, but this is already in place.^^^

People at work stop me in the halls to ask computer questions. My boss acts like I'm some sort of wizard practicing black magic when I show him how to copy a spreadsheet into a presentation. My dad tells everybody I'm a computing wunderkind, but in reality I usually just follow the flowchart above.

I can't understand why everyone that knows me thinks I'm so smart; I couldn't tie my own shoelaces until I was ten, I can't drive, and I can't even come up with a reply for the question "Got any big plans this weekend?"

I've had the same sort of thing happen. When I taught myself to build web pages people started thinking I could do anything, including hack into government servers. Really, how does that follow?

And, yes, I tend to think of skills I can do relatively well must be easy.

Ditto ! ! I believe it comes form my love of machines, I'll be the first to admit that cpu's arent my strong suit, "but I got a guy for that"

I did however take forever for me to realize just how much I was stepping on others toes.
Where I was working, I would out do engineering and designers ALL the time. I found it "hard to believe" that they were "that bad"

I found errors before they became a problem.and developed solutions to some fairly complex designs. After a while it became stressful being the go to guy and the center of attention all the time. I started to stutter and slur ,........words didnt come out right. and I would talk way too fast
It took a long time to understand how and why >being aspie and joining WP< has effected others and myself.

People in general assume that what they consider easy IS easy, and have to make an effort to disquise contempt and impatience with people who find the task difficult.

Aspies tend to have unusual skill sets, and unusual UNskill sets, so the univesal friction most people have others over skill differences is even greater.

It amazes me that high functioning people cant read maps.
A friend of my mom's who is scientist, and ironically an occupational therapist ( who is an expert on aptitudes), cant drive from one city to the next without getting lost.

I used to draw maps for fun when I was eight years old so navigating on the road is easy for me. So my impulse is to think that this lady is just being lazy or lacking in character, but apparently some people while driving just cant imagine themselves moving down that line on a road map-its about aptitude not character.

For me, it's knowing extactaly what to do as opposed to it being easy.