"Everyone hates me" beliefs

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I was trying to discuss this with my psychologist and my wife, but finding it really hard.

I often (always?) have the feeling that people really dislike me, whether it is family, or people I know well, or people I meet casually (like shop assistants). This is deeper than having a small number of friends, or being socially withdrawn or awkward. Some of the thoughts are things like:

1) This person can see that I have done something really bad, or that I am a really bad person
2) This person dislikes me for being foreign / gay / strange
3) I am going to make a terrible mess in this conversation
4) It feels like an argument, and I am in the wrong

I can rationally think through these ideas and I know that 1) people do not have telepathic powers to see into my mind, but on the other hand a lot of people do use 2) the same foreign / gay / strange language when they want to be abusive, and social awkwardness often leads to similar negative interactions with different people. Feeling 3) anxious about interactions is fairly normal, but constantly feeling like 4) every interaction is a conflict is harder to deal with - sometimes I ruminate about how an interaction might have gone (like, all the possible outcomes) and then suffer the feelings that all the bad outcomes would have caused, even though they did not happen.

How do you feel about this?

I think it is because of how I am holding my body, or what expression is on my face that I am completely unaware of that sends this non verbal message and they react before they even think. I find it happens with strangers and sometimes with people that even know me well. It is like some sort of involuntary reaction they get when they see certain 'signals' that I am clueless of.

sorry for ending my sentence with a prep. . .

Merle

I felt that I received a lot of flack when I tried to be like NT's. People figure that you are putting on an act right away and they respond to you as a loathesome fake. When I am just my quirky self and try "not" to impress an audience, I do just fine. People actually "come to me" for an introduction. It has gotten SO much easier with age. I learned to just be myself and if someone hates me, at least I know they are hating "me" and not my fake character who they think was the real me.

I don't often feel hated exactly, but I do feel ignored, disregarded and undervalued quite a bit of the time. Even when people are nice to me, I tend to suspect they're just being polite, or that it's a trick to get something they want from me. Being British doesn't help - we're famous for cranking out fake nods and smiles while we're not feeling anything of the kind. Somebody should give us a pill to make us pathologically honest, then I'd know where I really stood.

I get that feeling, sometimes. I make so many social mistakes, so how could people actually like me?

I used to feel this way alot, now I feel mostly like they just don't notice me. I felt this way mostly because I was the pathologized child in my family, now I know my family is completely wacked. Since I learned about aspergers I realized I don't relate in the ways that other people do so that's where the difficulty lies.

Hey guys. sorry to tell you but it gets even more weird as you get older. NT's ,when they hit 40, mostly turn into consumer-script zombies.
Example: " My wife's having and extension so she can have a new kitchen then we are going to Barbados on holiday for three weeks, when we get back I'm going to buy a new car. Blar blar , blar, NT blar "

I've heard the same script three times in the past fourteen days. It does my head in . They expect you to stand there and listen to this rubbish like you are interested.

If you once think about replying" I built my own kitchen out of an old sideboard and a reclaimed ceramic sink" they think you are nuts. If you interrupt they indicate it is rude. If you tell them you do not wish to listen, they get angry. Why on earth should we be obliged to ,listen to this perpetual drivel? May I swear- it's utter, empty, meaningless CR*P

My point is I don't think they know what they are saying half the time , and when they do it's an act of some kind of weird social aggression.

Wish I had told more of them to shut up when I was younger.

I have started doing this now and it causes no less stress then them standing there trying to wind you up. In fact it short-cuts the entire process and you don't walk away feeling like you have done something wrong. Because you haven't .They are irrational stupid and monotonous, talk drivel and you didn't evolve on this planet to listen to their drivel or be a verbal; punchbag for them.

Evolution is a level playing field.

I get those feelings rather frequently but I just try and not think about it otherwise it would get to the point where I would feel depressed for a long long time and plus i'm sick and tired of my negative feelings and decided to turn it around completely but its not easy and it seems very hard for me.

I have felt like that since the 10th grade when I got bullied and teased for being who I was and since then, I've been like that and had that feeling that people would always hate me, but its not the case that people hate you, I always try to think the oppisite of what i'm thinking sometimes and at times I would actually feel neutral and good that I don't feel like that.

Its hard to believe and I certainly sometimes need my space just to clear my head abit instead of me being in an overwhelming environment.

I feel I should just stop my speech right there.... Don't want to get into anymore detail.

I don't feel as though I'm hated. Just boring and generally overlooked. Sometimes, I can get away with a "strong, silent type" facade. But then I go through phases where I hate myself for being so innocuous.

I would agree that I feel shunned by other people. I am in my 30's, so I don't get much of the teasing any more, but people have a tendency to ignore interactions by me. It hurts the number of e-mails, phone calls, Facebook messages that have been blown off. The only way I have learned to get a response out of people is either through a captive audience situation, or by seeking a person out to have a face to face conversation.

One thing I have learned about other people (especially those you think don't like you), is that the relationship with that person is not as good as we would like it to be, but in most cases, that person doesn't think as ill of you as think. Another factor that plays into this, is that I have noticed that as I get older, I could either care less about a person, or want an overly intimate interaction with them.

It can be hard that most of the NT community bases their relationships on superficial interaction and exchange of common information and niceties. Conversations more along the lines of "how is work going", "how are the kids", etc, versus "What do you think about the new governmental policy on Social Security?", as an example.

I am posting again because I am having one of those days when I do feel like everyone hates me. So I guess I am contradicting myself. I don't know how to relate to people and I am tired of trying. I opened my facebook again and it makes me feel insane...people post the most mundane boring stuff and people respond to it, I go on there and I am bored out of my mind but people don't respond to what I post so the people who post two or three words 27 times a day must be on some universal secret that I don't get or something. That's just one thing

I've been thinking all morning about how when I was younger I was so quiet, too shy to talk, really...I had nothing to say and was ornamental and people liked me that way. As long as I was a 'cute mute' I was fine and people were fine with me. It was only later on when I became older and got opinions and got my own thoughts and dared to express them that I started to feel the 'people hate me thing'. My insides and outsides don't match. I am not what people expect or desire. I am having one of those 'eat some worms' kind of days where I am sick of everything. God help anyone who crosses my path today, I am fed up. People suck.

Passionatebach . The problem is the older you get the less inclined you feel you are obliged to listen to it.

The last NT monologue I had was "my son is doing so well , he's going skiing, buying a pair of glasses for £60.00 and his trousers cost £85.00 etc" for four minutes and twenty something seconds.

There was still some snow on the ground here, so thought.....

I interrupted the NT and randomly asked if "you had pockets of snow would your fingers get cold?"

He got angry because I interrupted him in full flow about his son. I do not want to listen to his factoids about his son's skiing equipment.

Eventually the NT went away and found someone else to babble to, and rightly so.

Thank goodness I'm not the only one who thinks that people dislike them. I even think that my friends wouldn't really care if I drop off the face of the earth at times, even though deep down I know that they truly do care for me.

What I also find odd is when people who I don't think should want to keep in contact with me do, that I don't understand. Why would you keep in contact with someone who you worked with 2 years ago and only had the most superficial conversations with? What is the connection there? Am I just another person they can brag about their life to? I really don't get that and thus I think therefore I come across as really rude.

Stuart ,the point is we haven't evolved into to what we are, which is another way of saying we weren't put on this planet, to have to listen to their aimless wafflings 24/7. You try telling them about our version of the world, they'll soon start giving off all the cues they don't want to listen.
No right or wrong doing here, just a monopoly on conversational "space".

Do you know what, the next in yer face jabbering NT that verbally accosts me with uninvited drivel is going to get at least four solid minutes on the shape and form and movement of natural stream water .