not feeling certain emotions

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http://abnormaldiversity.blogspot.com/2011/09/two-more-emotions-i-dont-seem-to-have.html

Have you ever hated someone? Have you ever felt embarrassed? Do you think lack of either of those emotions is common in autistic people?

I have a few emotional gaps: I cannot feel hatred, and I have extremely limited empathy, but have strong sympathy. I cannot feel other peoples' happiness or elation, and I have never said honestly that "I am happy for you," but I can "feel" other peoples' physical pain and some of their sorrow. I mostly only care about other peoples well-being and have little concern over their emotions. I am also most of the time emotionally flat: not really feeling anything at all.

I too can't feel glad for someone, unless their situation impresses me on some deep level.
I can feel deep dislike, that I used to mistake for hatred.
My emotions on a day-to-day basis are flat, with an undercurrent of worry.
I can feel embarrassment very intensely.

As for whether hatred and embarrassment are particular to autism, I really don't know.

I feel all emotions. In fact, I panic when I can't express an emotion. Like say if I slipped over on ice, I would feel more embarrassed if I was on my own, but if I was with somebody else, I wouldn't feel as embarrassed because I could just laugh it off with my friend, or say, ''god, that was embarrassing!'' and then other people around will know you've coped with it well and know how you're feelings. When I'm on my own I find it more embarrassing because I've just got to get up silently and carry on walking as though it never happened, and it's more awkward. OK, not sure but I think I went off-topic there.

By the way I do find it hard showing emotions to animals. I hate going, ''aaarrrrrrr!'' in that sloppy voice. In other words, I cannot coo. I just blankly say, ''that's sweet''.

I was about to say that I feel embarrassment quite often, then I actually read the link and realized that I mainly feel fear. Or else fear and embarrassment feel pretty much the same. At any rate, it's all tied to the expectation that someone else will react badly. If I think for whatever reason that other people won't react badly, embarrassment doesn't come into play.

(Is there something other than fear that embarrassed people feel?)

Hatred? Maybe. I don't know. I get angry and I feel a strong desire for people to go away from time to time. And intellectually I know that some people are dangerous and will continue to be dangerous until they are dead, and killing them is a way to get rid of the danger.... but the emotional "I want this person dead because they've done something unforgivable"... nope. I can lash out in the heat of the moment, but once I'm over it, people who've done bad things continuing to live doesn't really bother me unless I expect them to do more bad things because of it. Again, intellectually I understand that punishing them for past bad actions is a way to discourage other people that might want to do the same thing.... but that's not the same way other people see it, is it?

(But on the other hand, I did cheer at the death of Osama bin Laden, and thought "well it's about damn time" and was glad we had people on our side capable of hunting down the most elusive of targets and enjoyed making fun of his predicament and calling him names and so forth for a few hours. Seeing that a really dangerous animal was finally put down is a happy occasion and I felt it.)

One of the tricky things is that we learn words for emotions but never have any way of really knowing if the emotions we feel that we've labeled a certain way are the same ones other people are feeling when they use the same label. Kind of like color-blind people sometimes spend decades assuming that "yellow" and "green" are different names for the same color until it's brought to their attention that other people can easily see the difference between them.

I don't think I have normal empathy or sympathy.

It really does take a lot for me to become embarrassed.

To some extent, I don't feel depression, or even sadness, really, most of the time.

I also don't feel jaded about life, I can't really hang on to emotions like that and I don't like to deal with people who do, either.

I view other people's emotions as a source of contagion and I withdraw to avoid infection. The stronger those emotions, the further I withdraw. Over the years I have learned to mumble the expected phrases, but my heart is cold. I feel my own negative emotions keenly, particularly fear and anger, but positive emotions like love and happiness are at best a pleasant buzz.

I don't know what my emotions are. I'm not sure which is which.

I feel awkward and embarrassed (uncomfortable) in many social situations, and feel acutely embarrassed for other people. I think it has to do with constantly trying to "put myself out there" when I was younger and trying to fit in, and being mocked by everyone including my parents. I can only feel empathy for people if I have been in a similar situation, or can compare it to something I've been through. I hesitantly speculate that the fear you feel is akin to embarrassment, but for some of us it's something that's ever-present and therefore doesn't stand out as something that should have a different name. I obviously can't say for sure.
As far as hatred, I can't say I've ever felt it more than fleetingly. There are many people I've known who I feel are completely pointless, and I don't hesitate to write them off completely when I am sure that they bring nothing good to the world. I've been called some rude things for being able to do this, and I think this "coldness" might be the NT equivalent to hatred. I wonder sometimes whether it is like that, or if NTs have to keep themselves worked up over some slight in order to be the same kind of cold.
Once again, just uneducated speculation.

I can't feel glad or happy for someone. I can't feel sad for people or empathize no matter how hard I try. Although for some reason I can feel these things for animals. Weird huh?

I know it sounds strange, but I'm unable to feel anger to the degree that most people feel it and it takes a lot to get me angry. On the other hand, I'm a very sensitive person.

I find it funny that you ask a bunch of people, some of whom who probably have alexythimia about whether or not they feel emotions that, due to alexythimia, they don't know/can't put names to. Lol, but it is a fair question.

I feel embarrassment, but that's probably because my parents beat shame into me early on, so my view is probably skewed. Hatred, I feel as an abstract notion that I usually only apply to people like Hitler, or Stalin, people I don't physically know, but because of the knowledge of how they treated others, I hate. Dislike people because of how they act, yes, but I don't hate them, I just don't like them.

Feeling happy for someone? No, I don't. Unless it's someone I really like, or they've done something that impresses me, yes, I feel a certain amount of pride, maybe that I know the person and that they're doing well somehow justifies my existence because someone who's accomplished something like that is my friend or whatever. Not sure. Pretty interesting though.