self hate

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Whats the best way to get over self hatred

these may seem like platitudes, but i can only tell you what worked for me. it was to the point where i was trying to off myself in manifold passive ways ["accident" prone-ness, bad diet, not taking care of myself in general, just wishing to die above all] when i started getting this extremely vivid dreams telling me basically why my life was so lousy, and it boiled down to bad karma from previous lifetimes in which i was an evil person, so in this lifetime i was being given a big taste of my own medicine. also i was told that i volunteered for this lifetime to atone for my sins, and so if i didn't take my medicine in this lifetime i'd only be putting it off to a future one, and so i'd be better off manning up and getting it done in this lifetime. the first thing was to stop hating myself, as it was not me that was bad but the lifetime i was living. so i started taking better care of myself and making my own refuge from the evil world. i figured if nobody was going to love me or even give me the time of day, then i would just have to love myself and give myself the time of day, IOW take care of my own needs and to hell with anybody else. i started exercising again and got back into reasonable shape, so at least now i can look at myself in the mirror and like what i see. that was a big help all by itself. plus being physically fit translates directly into greater mental clarity also, which aids the psyche by way of better [less negative] thinking. "Automatic Negative Thoughts" ["ANTs"] were a big problem of mine, [IOW "you're no good! you'll never amount to anything! you're ugly! etc."] so i had to get rid of those, and the way i did it was after i read someplace that the average human mind could only hold in working memory, one discrete thought at one time, so when an ANT would pop up i would immediately and with extreme prejudice, shove it out of the way with another thought, any other thought. i can't count the number of times i made myself think "I LIKE ICECREAM!! !" because it was the most vivid and "loud" thought i could think of to supercede the ANTs. but it worked, and now i have moved on to a wider repertoire of replacement thoughts whenever i get the blues. yet another thing i do is i stick to the schedule of "just for today"-

"Just For Today"-

*Just for today: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overhwhelm me if i had to keep it up for a lifetime.
*Just for today: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
*Just for today: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that i can correct and accept those I cannot.
*Just for today: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.
*Just for today: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.
*Just for today: I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.
*Just for today: I will something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully - if only *just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.
*Just for today: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

The beauty of "just for today" is that you don't have to do the whole ball of wax, you can start on just one of 'em and work your way up from there. And it is just for today, as tomorrow is just another [to]day.

i don't hate you so don't you go hating yourself, now, y'hear?

Make yourself happy. Listen to your favourite music, watch your favourite movie or play your favourite video game if you're into video games, or read a book that you like.

Those quotes are brilliant! Really great to put up there. Its good to keep busy too, then you have less time dwelling on yourself. I know how hard it can be though, hang in there. Your life is for you, dont let anyone put you down either

Knowing that I give off vibes causes self-hate.

I've come to hate myself so much that I am now depressed because there is nothing I can do to change this. I don't like the way I look awkward all the time. This is why I avoid shopping. I'm standing in the wrong places all the time, always looking unconfident even when I'm not realising it, and noises like people's brats screaming overloads me so I look even more agitated and I'm scared that one day I'm going to lash out at one. I'm scared. I may have the self-control now, and I hope I always will, but with the state of mind I'm in at the moment, there might come a time where I might not be able to help myself.

Not only that - when I'm with someone else, people always look at them and smile and start up small talk, but they never acknowledge me. But I don't bother being confident either, because once I tried being confident in a clothes shop when a girl who worked there asked me if I liked the jeans I had just tried on, and I smiled and give a confident expression and said, ''nah, they're too small for me'', then the girl said, ''can you put them on this rail here?'' My brain took a couple of seconds to register what she said, as I was walking back into the shop, and I quickly stood and gave her the clothes, and I saw that she was giving me a funny look.

So now I feel so upset and disappointed in myself, and I just don't know how to stay cool. When I'm trying to be confident, I lose my cool even more. There is just no off button with this. I f*****g hate myself, and each time I catch myself in the mirror I say, ''hello unconfident f****r''.

Wait, why do you hate yourself? That's not right. When I feel overly negative and my life is out of control, I try to find one positive thing I can do and do it. It can be simple it is just the thought process of thinking positively.

Ever fallen in love with someone whose flaws, both physical and mental, only seem to add to their charm? Take any of it away and the person becomes almost too perfect to bother with. I've got a friend who dislikes herself, and I couldn't care less about her flaws. You're worh quite a lot for just being you.

But of course, self-love comes from within, or so I've been told. Outside reassurance is a temporary fix, and I'd guess that people who dislike you for the things you dislike about yourself are blind to their own faults. I pity the people who think they're perfect, to be honest.

Now, time for me to get back to working on following my own advice...

I dont believe in fairy tales of previous lifetimes, no one here has any good advice.

also im not going to play crossword puzzles or hangman in not 80 years old in mcdonalds yet. its 2011, i rather play video games DUHH

I heard of a technique once... I never tried it.

Make a list of the all the positive things about yourself, however small. At the end of every day review how things went and keep adding to the list. Eventually you'll have something substantial enough to stop hating yourself. That's the theory any way.

I might be able to like myself better if other people didn't make me feel so bad about myself. Each morning I wake up and get dressed into clothes that make me look nice (I don't wear clothes that make me look geeky, like ''jack-ups'' trousers, or anything like that what other people tend to emotionally attack when they see somebody wearing clothes this way), and I have a neat, slim figure, and I don't go out looking skanky (I keep my hair washed, my clothes ironed, I wash or bath every night, and I put nice perfumes on). I really don't know what I'm missing out here. To cut it short, I don't do anything what is considered weird. I am just a 21-year-old female who goes out looking nice. That's all I am. I just wish I had more evidence of it. I just wish other girls would grow up and stop giving me funny looks all the time. Surely other girls must know how I feel being glared at, because they don't like being glared at themselves.

The soul reason why I hate myself is because it isn't ''the lights are on but nobody's in'' with me, it's the other way around: ''the lights are off but everybody's in.'' That means I'm full of thoughts inside and I pick up on other people's body language as quick as lightening, but to others I just look like a dopey twat who has got no feelings and it just a goofy idiotic ret*d.