Aspies and money
I love the comfort, the freedom, the security that money can provide but I hate caring for money. My brain just block when I have to check my bank account or do my taxes, I hate talking about money, thinking about it. I just wanna feel it's there. When i don't have any, I feel so depressed but I am just not able to manage it.
Are you like me?
My husband decided to handle all the finances and told me I couldn't handle it because I was chewing him out when he even spend literally a dollar when I was on a saving spree. I would even get anxiety over money and not want to do anything and be afraid to get anything we need. It was giving my husband stress too so he decided enough and took over.
Sweetleaf
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Well I kind of hate it and wish it did not exist......but It would be hard to buy anything I need or want without it and most things aren't exactly free. I probably do not always spend it well, but then again its from college loans and grants so its not like I earned it at a job.
Having no money is the biggest part of why my life sucks right now, and I've told my psychologist many times how ridiculous and frustrating I think it is that none of my psychiatric problems would be an issue at all if I won a lottery.
As for actually handling money, I'm hopeless. I don't have a problem spending money I don't have, like so many others do, but I'm like a child when it comes to anything involving check books, credit cards, taxes, etc. One of the reasons I walked out on my last job was that I couldn't even handle adding up my cash register at the end of the day, so you can imagine how I am with this stuff. I'm always going to need help with it in the future, and by help I mean "having someone else do it for me while I feel like a stupid as*hole who needs other people to do things for him."
aspie48
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Location: up s**t creek with a fan as a paddle
I'm good at money, but just one of my things is balancing how much money I want vs time not spent making money that I want. Like I realize all the theoretics of money, just getting it into practice is tough. I don't like, "feel bad" about it or anything, just for me it's more like, matter of fact "I need this much money before I can do X."
Me personally, I don't spend money on things other people spend money on, but still realize how lots of my money goes to ret*d things like energy drinks just to make me feel good short term. But for me, for example, I don't buy clothes for very much money. I got 3 pairs of jeans a couple weeks ago for 1.50 each, nice name brand jeans, but I bought them at Salvation Army. My most expensive clothing purchase this entire year was 20 bucks for a pair of used desert combat boots.
The main problems with my use of money is my like, "divergent" thinking process. It's just my ways of using money are different from people around me. I don't care for or want what other people want, people ridicule me for that, but at the same time, they'll ridicule me for wanting to spend money on specific things I want, or buying random things like getting a bunch of oatmeal when it's on sale in case of a power outage or something, or buying extra tools, etc. I tend to see everything in light of "efficiency." I also feel guilty when I do "normal" things like buy coffee at McDonalds or something, realizing it's not efficient, but only makes me feel good short term. I get guilty as it's like "That money on this coffee that will last me drinking it for only 15 minutes could have been spent on a pair of jeans or a shirt that'll last a few years."
Also, I tend to buy or collect things I feel I'll need later if I get them at a good deal. So my family will complain if I spend like 8 bucks on a coffee maker that's like a 30 cup percolator, as they say it takes up space or whatever. But they generally don't complain about my inefficient energy drink habit for some reason.
Even things like buying a house, I realize I could make, let's say, a neat little house out of some cargo containers for cheap, but most people would frown upon it, and would rather live in a suburban cookie cutter house than a house made themselves out of cargo containers. Hell, I think I'd be happy living in a RV or van, just society looks down upon it. But to me, an RV or van parked somewhere is the most efficient smart thing to do, but you look like a crazy person if you do it.
swbluto
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swbluto
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Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 37
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Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization
Yep, it's pretty amazing how money changes your psychological wellbeing compared to when you have nothing, especially if you have so-called psychiatric "problems"(Whether something is a "problem" is relative.).
swbluto
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There are tons of crazy people at the RV park, so don't worry, you'll fit right in.
Actually, it's somewhat common for there to be RVs parked in someone's backyard in places like Seattle where the rent is so dang high. If it were practical, I'd park an RV in someone's backyard or driveway and live that way because it is the cheapest / most-efficient way to go but, then again, I don't mind looking like a crazy person as it's been unanimously decided long ago that I was one.
In reality, when I move to another city to expand my business, I'll live in wherever I decide to conduct business. I'm guessing this will probably be in some building in or near an industrial park or it might be a house in an area where "conducting business" won't be frowned upon nor penalized and is "safe" enough to conduct business.
I've only just taken over my own finances (on benefits) and I am absolutely terrified! I keep ringing my Mum up to ask permission to spend money and when I don't ring her and get it wrong she shouts at me! It's really overwhelming to go from having a pittance, to having a decent amount, but I have to be careful because some of it has to go towards my care home and some to the pet insurance for my rabbit. Plus if my rabbit gets ill I have to pay up front THEN claim it back on insurance so I need a few hundred quid sitting around just in case!
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swbluto
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That's a great idea! I would be worried about the cost of heating/cooling with cargo containers assuming you're in a climate where it's necessary, but it does seem to be pretty efficient otherwise. Just add some stucco and cut out some window holes and maybe add a terra-cotta roof, and you have an (almost) acceptable tenement for the right neighborhood. (It'd be hard to cut it in cookie cutter neighbhorhoods)
Talking about efficient, I wonder how efficient it would be to live underground or, say, in a cave. The cost of the "house" would be whatever it takes to excavate it, and it'd have supreme heating/cooling management since the underground's temperature tends to be less volatile than the temperature above ground. Plus, underground, it's a bomb shelter ready to go!
Are you like me?
ABSOLUTELY! My husband takes care of that stuff because I'm useless at it and I absolutely hate it (I might be better at it if I didn't hate it so much). Before we married I hated it in a major way but minimally managed.
~Kate
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Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
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aspie48
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Location: up s**t creek with a fan as a paddle
you can get pet insurance?
That's a great idea! I would be worried about the cost of heating/cooling with cargo containers assuming you're in a climate where it's necessary, but it does seem to be pretty efficient otherwise. Just add some stucco and cut out some window holes and maybe add a terra-cotta roof, and you have an (almost) acceptable tenement for the right neighborhood. (It'd be hard to cut it in cookie cutter neighbhorhoods)
I would love to live in a cave! There are a few people successfully living in underground homes that way. Excavating your own would not be cheap, and most caves around here are already owned and/or protected by law from being touched, much less lived in.
I really really wish my wife could/would take over the finances. But she doesn't seem to be any better at it than me. At the very least, I'd be able to stop answering "can I have this?" for a while...
Maaaan don't even get me STARTED about money. Nah jk too late
The only reason, of course, that money (printed paper, pressed metal, digital BS) is even an issue is because everyone in the world believes that it's real. It's not. We humans made it up because we couldn't think of any better way to manage ourselves. I hate it, and it seems like many of you hate dealing with it too. I think this is why:
It's a strictly artificial system. What is real about it? The freedom that it giveth, or taketh away. Our natural state is to be free, and over the thousands of years of our existence, we have ceded our natural individual freedom into the collective pool of money, physically restricting ourselves, willingly, based on how much money we have. Agreed to limit ourselves, individually, for the ultimate betterment of ourselves, collectively. Unconsciously and gradually, of course.
Now, tho? Money has become super-artificial, moving beyond being tied to a certain fund of gold (which we were pretending was valuable), to being completely unilaterally imaginary. A simple computer glitch can delete or create trillions of dollars in a fraction of a second. It would be folly, imo, to continue to allow ourselves as individuals be controlled by the whims of some imaginary force that even the greatest mathemagicians in the world could never control.
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