Thinking of creating an aspie meet up. Good idea?

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oceandrop
Deinonychus
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27 Sep 2011, 9:20 pm

Well it would be an interesting experience. I'm pretty curious how an AS meet-up would turn out. I guess some people saying nothing and keeping themselves to themselves, and others probably taking turns to enthusiastically engage in one-sided verbosity about their special interests. Funny.

I hear that at Autreat and similar people can actually wear badges / wristbands of some sort indicating how interested they are in social interaction. What an interesting bunch we are!



Keeno
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28 Sep 2011, 6:50 am

That isn't too far from the truth, especially the one sided verbosity of a few people. We have a guy on our meetups who talks non-stop, it can literally be hours, about a wide range of subjects. The most common subject would be his proposed belief system/code of rational human conduct (a religion even, since he put it down as that in the census) and its fictional central character. Another guy talks at great length, though nowhere near as intensely but still sometimes for quite long periods, about art and the arts, and his travels to see art/the arts. I'm conscious not to monologue, it's not as if I ever have enough continuous conversation to qualify as a monologue anyway, but it would block or interrupt the flow of social interaction. On meetups I do enjoy talking about my experiences I've had as an Aspie and the challenges I've had living as an Aspie. Others contribute in smaller ways to say things that are worth saying at the time, and there never seems to be anyone who just keeps to themselves and doesn't contribute.

From what I hear of Autreat and Autscape, I don't fancy them. I feel as if their rules on social interaction would make it easy to put your foot in it. I'm someone who likes to be able to interact with other Aspies, not have barriers to restrict free interaction with them, although I appreciate that's desired by the person.



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28 Sep 2011, 7:53 am

Beelzerius wrote:
No, not a good idea, a very bad idea. Instead of getting used to this club attitude to being with other aspies or entering those help organizations for aspies i highly recommend you meet with normal people since it will develop your social skills. Meet with other aspies and you only enclose yourself in a even more smaller world.


It's all a matter of fitting in, and who you fit in with. And it has to be admitted that most Aspies I know seem to be able to fit in just fine with "normal" people or an NT-like environment. Others don't, and find truer, more open, relaxed and inclusive human connection among other Aspies than with "normal" people (define "normal", anyway?)

But if a person feels they'll fit in better with other Aspies, they should go for it, I know my own experience with Aspie meetups shows how much of a success this is. You feel more accepted, whole and authentic. The social environment allows you to relax and be yourself more, with less of the conformity you seem to insist on.

What's Kaelynn supposed to do, meet with NT or "normal" people which she seems to not really enjoy doing and which will make her less happy, or have the chance to meet up with other Aspies or people like her and, if it all works out, be happier?



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28 Sep 2011, 9:01 am

I think I would fit in better with NTs, because I've been mixing around with NTs practically since I was born really. My family are NTs, so I was brought up in an NT environment, and I went to mainstream school and was the only Aspie, the first time I ever met another person on the spectrum was at 17 in college. He asked me out and I did go out with him, but it only lasted 3 weeks because I didn't feel all that comfortable with him. But we are friends, just not boyfriend and girlfriend. I think I would prefer an NT man. I have been out with NT men before, but didn't last because I didn't fancy them, and I do actually want to land with somebody whom I fancy and have true feelings for (I do have true feelings for a man, but we're not dating....yet).

I might get along with Aspie girls who are my age, but being that I never met another Aspie girl in my life, I really don't know what other Aspie girls are like.


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28 Sep 2011, 1:52 pm

OP,

You can tell your mother you want to meet other aspies and maybe she will know other people who happen to know someone with AS who lives close to you. Maybe they can hook you two up as friends. It may not be a meet up but it be something.