Thinking of creating an aspie meet up. Good idea?

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Kaelynn
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25 Sep 2011, 7:22 pm

I want to meet new friends but when I meet new people that are my age I dont like them. Most of the people I know and that are my age are NTs and I useally dont like them. They all seem to be afried to be who they really are so they just act like every one else. So I have decided that I need aspie friends. I looked for aspie meet ups were I live and there are none. So I was thinking maybe I will just plan one of my own. But Im not sure how or where to do it. Have any of you guys been to one? If so did you like it? What do they do at aspie meet ups?



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25 Sep 2011, 7:45 pm

You can create one in your area at www.meetup.org and it costs a little money for the website when you create a meetup group. You then pick a location where you want the group to be at.

At the autism groups I have been to, we all do topics. Every meeting there is a new topic and we discuss it. One of my groups does snacks and we do half time and eat. We even do potlucks about twice a year and we all can bring family. One of the groups I go to is more social and we meet at a restaurant and we all talk. Sometimes the groups are boring because it's all talking and listening and listening for long periods of time isn't my strongest.

Sometimes they will plan weekend events. One of them planned a Halloween party and the other planned the 4th of July party at their house, he even planned bowling too. I was supposed to go to the group today but the group organizer was in a car accident due to some drunk driver so his car got totaled and he wasn't going to show up at his own group so I didn't go. besides I feel exhausted because I have been out of my apartment all day yesterday and then had to leave again today just to go grocery shopping. Being out all day makes me tired and then I feel I just want to go home and rest for a few days without leaving again.

I would create a meetup at my apartment for video game night or movie night but I don't feel comfortable having lot of people in my home.



EDIT: I just realized you are 14 :oops:



Kaelynn
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25 Sep 2011, 7:58 pm

Yes I am 14. :oops: But I could still create an aspie meet up right? :D



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25 Sep 2011, 8:21 pm

I am not sure if the advice I gave you will help and I think you need to be 18 to create a group on the meetup site but I am not sure.



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25 Sep 2011, 8:24 pm

If you think it's a good idea and it sounds like a good idea, than it's a good idea.


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j_choate69
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26 Sep 2011, 2:10 am

I second that motion. A group of aspies would be seemingly unstoppable. Or at least the flow of ideas would be.



EllenAspie
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26 Sep 2011, 10:12 am

I'm 14 too :) I only just got diagnosed very recently so I would love to meet some fellow Aspies :D I don't know. Where are you from Kaelynn? I'm from Denmark (which you are properly not) So maybe just web buddies eh? :wink:



65536
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26 Sep 2011, 10:33 am

Aren't you all afraid of pedophiles?



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26 Sep 2011, 2:12 pm

Kaelynn did say she was looking to create a meetup for people around her age, not with people who might be paedophiles. Good point though, 65536. So especially for that age, such a meet-up should start off being based in a busy public place. Or based out of or associated with a school, if that's possible... I'm just trying to think of a control to ensure the right age group attends and others are filtered out.

However... I attend Aspie meetups on a regular, frequent basis, as our local group (not based on meetup.com but our local Asperger society) has meetups once a month. Or twice a month, if you count us all going to the pub after our formal monthly meetings. Members of our group are also involved in additional Aspie meetups, several of these a year being held in cities around Scotland which include other people from around Scotland. And just at the end of this week, six members of our local group go on a long weekend away together - a tour of the isles of Mull and Iona, plus Oban - this is an annual event with holidays in different locations.

Presumably you are starting from scratch, Kaelynn, and obviously don't have an Aspie group where you live already, but my experience shows what is possible.



Kaelynn
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26 Sep 2011, 4:05 pm

EllenAspie wrote:
I'm 14 too :) I only just got diagnosed very recently so I would love to meet some fellow Aspies :D I don't know. Where are you from Kaelynn? I'm from Denmark (which you are properly not) So maybe just web buddies eh? :wink:


Well Im from Vermont but I live in South Carolina now. But I would love to be web buddies!! !! ! :D



Kaelynn
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26 Sep 2011, 4:09 pm

Keeno wrote:
Kaelynn did say she was looking to create a meetup for people around her age, not with people who might be paedophiles. Good point though, 65536. So especially for that age, such a meet-up should start off being based in a busy public place. Or based out of or associated with a school, if that's possible... I'm just trying to think of a control to ensure the right age group attends and others are filtered out.

However... I attend Aspie meetups on a regular, frequent basis, as our local group (not based on meetup.com but our local Asperger society) has meetups once a month. Or twice a month, if you count us all going to the pub after our formal monthly meetings. Members of our group are also involved in additional Aspie meetups, several of these a year being held in cities around Scotland which include other people from around Scotland. And just at the end of this week, six members of our local group go on a long weekend away together - a tour of the isles of Mull and Iona, plus Oban - this is an annual event with holidays in different locations.

Presumably you are starting from scratch, Kaelynn, and obviously don't have an Aspie group where you live already, but my experience shows what is possible.



Thank you for shareing Keeno! :) Thats really cool! I really hope I am able to start a meet up group. I dont useally like NTs but I do want friends so I really want to try and get some aspie friends. Thanks for shareing your expirenece :)



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26 Sep 2011, 5:36 pm

You have to live in or near a large city. Living far out in the countryside pretty much precludes meeting other Aspies. Why just your own age? If you have a parent or family member to escort you, why not open it up? You might just learn a thing or two from us older ones, you know ...


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27 Sep 2011, 12:39 pm

No, not a good idea, a very bad idea. Instead of getting used to this club attitude to being with other aspies or entering those help organizations for aspies i highly recommend you meet with normal people since it will develop your social skills. Meet with other aspies and you only enclose yourself in a even more smaller world.



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27 Sep 2011, 2:11 pm

I've created one before. I no longer lead it, but it became rewarding as I gained friends that way. I used a lot of board games and other activities. Most Aspies I've met are activity-driven people, and they make for excellent ways to overcome any social awkwardness. If you are in the U.S, Apples to Apples was one that seemed to engage people every time, although my personal favorite, Monopoly, seemed to do fine.

Meetup.com is a great way to organize it. I'd also explore ways to post any meet up as an event on Facebook. I think you can be anonymous when organizing an event, as can the guess list. If you have any friends, I'd tell them, too. One of them may know someone who would be interested.



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27 Sep 2011, 4:05 pm

Hmm, if I met up with a group of Aspies I bet I will still probably be shy and quiet and just pushed to the back of the group, because I have Social Phobia. I'm afraid of speaking up in big groups of any sort of people, until I get used to them. At first, I'm so shy! :(

I'm not getting at anybody. It's myself who I'm getting at. I let myself be pushed to the back of the group, then end up trailing behind the group, plucking up courage to speak to anyone but being too afraid to do it. But I've never met up with a group of Aspies before, so I don't know what it'd be like. But Aspies aren't robots, we've all got thoughts and emotions just like any NT, so some of us can still be shy and socially phobic when meeting up with eachother, especially at first when we don't know one another, so there is a possibility of some of us being unsure of what to say to eachother and so just keep quiet. And not all Aspies are shy - there might be some of us who are the chatty type, and others who are quiet mice like myself.


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27 Sep 2011, 7:22 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Hmm, if I met up with a group of Aspies I bet I will still probably be shy and quiet and just pushed to the back of the group, because I have Social Phobia. I'm afraid of speaking up in big groups of any sort of people, until I get used to them. At first, I'm so shy! :(


Same holds true for me :(


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