you would not believe what my mom said, ok maybe you will.

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Mom and I were talking about the time I went into a cell phone dealer's store, not saying which one, and this woman which was the epitome of bottle blonde perfection 6'8 and willowy looked me up and down and shot her nose in the air. Well my mom did not take that well, at all. So she called her up later to guilt trip her of all my struggles and how far I came and how amazinly brave I am...you know the drill. Well the woman got a bit defensive and guiltstrisken as only my mother could provoke such a reaction.
Anyway then, today, up reflecting this, she anounces, "Ya know J, you are alot like that ungly woman that got on stage and shocked the world with her beautiful voice. I was like "WTF" and busted laughing out of sheer amazment that she would say this to me. Anyway, she realized that she misspoke, and said that is not how I meant for that to come out. I meant you are so much more beautiful than you appear cause when you are in public, you have this look of shock and bewilderment plastered on your face. Anyway, after realizing what she said...she looked down at her feet and said I am amazed I still have toes left after putting my foot in my mouth...she later complained that her foot was swollen. I said, that because you been knawing on your foot all afternoon. Sometimes I wonder if she is on the spectrum too.

disclaimer, she also says I am elegant and soulful

Oh, people

Sometimes people say very nice things - but the words just don't come out right.

I get the "you look really good for a someone who has two kids", "you look pretty when you smile", etc.

People are not trying to say that I look bad compared to someone who has never had kids and saying that I look ugly when I have a neutral expression. But it can sound this way.

As for the woman who sang beautifully on that talent show - she defied the stereotype. People often think that standardized physical beauty equals talent. It does not. That woman was older, a little frumpy and average looking. She blew the audience away with her rendition of "I Had a Dream."

Likewise, someone can appear awkward, introverted, have trouble word finding - but be so highly intelligent and sophisticated. One doesn't have to have the looks and poise of Scarlett Johannson (sp?) to be elegant, intelligent or talented. However, in a society where we worship celebrity and hang on to the opinions of the movie stars and the fashionable - this may be difficult to remember. Your mum may have simply been trying to remind you of that.

The more I think about it, the more I think she is on the spectrum...she really acts like it sometimes.
One psychcologist said she had einstien type of thinking...she would get an idea in the instant and spend 20 years trying to explain it to people.

She has a phenominal way of telling people the wrong thing at the wrong time....it has really caused a rift between her and my sister because she reads too much into what people say anyway.

thank you for explaining that so perfectly, makes more sence as to what she intended to say.
ya mom gets the compliment, "you look great, for your age", alot. She is often felt feeling unsure of whether it is a compliment or not.

I later heard that the woman we are talking about, usually liked to wear english leather, but on that day she wore a flowery moo-moo just to blow the stereotype.
thank you again, I feel better.

Six foot eight is tall for a woman

I wish my own mom complimented me, even if they came out wrong.

Maybe she doesn't know you want to hear what she likes about you. Sometimes I forget to tell somebody about something I like about them because I forget they can't read my mind. Silly me, neh?

Well, she meant well. I think it's nice that she was trying to stick up for you and I think that's actually kind of a sweet comment. As long as you realize what someone meant, it's ok =)

Am I the only one who has troubles following what the OP is saying? I can't find anything wrong in it in what the mother said.

Nope. You're not the only one having trouble following the OP.

I don't get this. Did she actually see you put your foot in your mouth (literally)?

I know my mom means well, but her compliments about me usually fall on deaf ears. I think it's because I know she's saying it to make me feel better, rather than that she actually feels that way. I've never been complimented by a nonrelative female my own age and by now, I've accepted the fact that I won't until I have plastic surgery, or increase my bank account by 8-9 figures.

I personally call this kind of intelligence "spiral thinking" since when people usually think it is very linear, A to B to C in a straight line.

Spiral thinkers are tend to be only a few steps from any single point in a thought where it doesn't matter what point they look at it from, so they can jump from A to M to Z almost instantly and back again from O to M to G

I can often think both ways, I get to conclusions sometimes in an instant without knowing what the hell just happened like the time I cracked the key to a cipher just as that boy in the movie and other times it can take me hours to run through a problem from all angles.

Personally for me my family is in denial and they always have been, far better for them to believe I am the one who is stupid rather than have a family member who has to try a lot harder than others with certain things. So no, I do not have any direct experience of what you are saying, but I wouldn't worry about the comment that was made, think of it like an "Ugly Duckling" metaphor; albeit one that went wrong

I make these kinds of comments all the time, I mean one thing but they always end up getting misinterpreted, so I do not generally speak...

Awesome story.

Sounds to me like you can at least see the humor in it. Also sounds like you are even better than your own mother at picking up on subtleties of at least some communications.

Mothers are great at embarrassing their kids. Sounds like yours is really good at it. Mine always was too. She's gone now, but even now I can still laugh at the dumber things she used to say.

Autism seems pretty clearly to be genetic. so if you are on the spectrum, good chance she or your father or both are as well. I can see that both my parents are clearly autistic now that I know what it is. I also agree that your mom was trying to stick up for you and complement you but did it in an autistic kind of awkward way.