monstermunch wrote:
Quote:
If I am talking to someone and then all of a sudden they started talking to another person, I get the hint but it makes me mad they do that because I find it so rude. I also get the hint if they aren't saying anything or showing any reactions. I just assume they are not interested because that is what I do when I am not interested. I don't say anything.
I have this. Once I said to a friend, ''I feel self-conscious today'', and I knew she heard, but because I'm always going on about that sort of thing, she turned to another person and said, ''so what time is your boyfriend coming then?''
I can't explain how, but I knew she did that on purpose because I could tell in her face that she was thinking, ''here we go again - I ain't listening to this!'' It made me feel mad inside because it makes me feel like I'm always the bad one and they're the good ones who are just conforming socially and I'm sure sometimes people make themselves look more ''normal'' and ''innocent'' than me, and seem proud of it. I hate looking and feeling rock bottom. It makes me feel ashamed.
I've also had people turn the TV up loud when I was trying to talk. That made me feel really awkward. It made me feel so awkward that I had a funny sensation in the back of my throat and I felt sick (not sure if anybody else gets this or not when feeling hurt or upset or stupid?)
Yeah, it's not especially socially acceptable to be self-deprecatory or to try to get pity for the way you're feeling, especially if it involves how others think of you or some such. The exception is when it's for humor to ease a situation where you've made an embarrassing mistake.
As much as I like to talk about my neurotic interest in the disorders I speculate I have, it's not exactly something I share with real life individuals because I know they dislike it, unless they're particularly close as with relatives. But, even that has limits. It's one thing funny about society is that how well you're treated has a good deal to do with your self-image.