Do you know what i have been told?

Post Reply New Topic

That i am selfish and it is y fault i have been bullied,even severy bullied and treated as a second class citizen.

I've been told that too and by a school counselor even.

They didn't tell me exactly what I was doing wrong or how to fix it either.

Objectively and with pure common sense and logic i know thta i have been treated unfairly.But that;s why i made the two previous threads about bullying,i will tell more incidents.

Yeah I used to get told that all the time....its BS though, I have learned sometimes people make accusations like that because its easier than having to handle the truth. Then I can just laugh because their minds can't handle it......not a very nice reason to laugh but hey it makes me feel a little better.

I have been told that too that except when I was a kid, I was told if I don't do this or that, kids won't pick on me. Don't do this or that or kids will think I am weird and make fun of me. I got that from my mother. Now all of a sudden it's not my fault and I still think it is.

yeah ive been told that too.

I've been called selfish too because I have a set way things should go in my head, and when things don't go that way I get upset sometimes. I also like doing things my way because I know how to do them. Other people just don't understand and call me selfish.

I've been told this, too. My abusive parent (father) liked to tell me that I must obviously be doing something to provoke the bullying, so all I have to do is stop it and they'll leave me alone. I am convinced that in addition to being abusive, that he was also extremely ignorant.

What I often heard in school was:

"Since no one saw it, it's your word against theirs."

Also, I had several teachers bully me.

Eh, I got that a lot, too. Mainly because I had (and to some degree still have) a tendency to want things my way, because I would get SEVERE anxiety if it did not. Though nowadays I'm a lot more mellow/accepting if something doesn't go my way.

I have been told this by many people. I got told (in front of two bullies) that if I stopped acting so 'odd' they would stop bullying me. Yeah cause it's that easy

Give the the only one decent answer you can give: a**hole!

I got bullied a lot as a kid, and also beaten by siblings and peers. That made me develop a PTSD condition, where I lost my "flight" reflex in the "fight or flight" thing. I always fought back. Quite cruelly, I might add, as I was always fighting people who were bigger and older than I was.

It made things much worse. People would pick on me because they knew they'd get a reaction. Nuclear escalation sort of thing.

So, even though I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, looking back on it I feel like my own overreaction was a big part of of the problem.

I still have a tendency to taunt bullies verbally, which seems to inspire violence. Part of losing the "flight" reflex is that I have no concern for my physical welfare.

Another aspect of the PTSD is that I shut down emotionally in a fight, become perfectly cold and detached and see event unfold in slow motion. So I am rarely in any real danger. But I am in serious danger of unwillingly hurting someone else.

Trust me, you don't want to be like me in this regard. Coming down from a fight, even if I "won," means painful anxiety and guilt for weeks on end. Would've been better if I could've just walked away.

no, just no. no one has the right to say that to you. and i know how you feel... ive had family members including say this to me.
people are responsible for how they treat you. it isnt your fault. abuse is evil and bullys like to blame their victims. dont put up with it, you deserve a lot better for you, its your life and no one should make you feel terrible and make you feel you deserve to be bullied

I think I had more the opposite thing. I almost never fought back and avoided as much as I could.That is part of the reason why I skipped school so much. Looking back I sometimes wonder if the flat affect people made note of was something I always had (and part of what made me a target) or if I learned it from all the "ignore them and they'll go away" advice about bullies.

I remember fighting back a couple of times. Once a boy on the school bus grabbed my hand and was painfully bending my fingers back. I was too weak to physically get him off so I spat in his face. I got suspended from the bus (which was good, I didn't have to go to school then) and he got in no trouble at all. Another time a girl tried to block me from getting to my locker. I actually pushed her. She got me back by pulling my hair really hard one day on the way home. I'm not sure why I was walking that day. I guess that one wasn't that bad. As bad as some schools are these days if it happened now I'd probably get shanked on the way home from school.

It's usually my brother that calls me selfish. I find it amusing because it's true.

Yeah, I've been called selfish. Although I now find it quite amusing, being called selfish by somebody who wants you to do things THEIR way.