Spouse or significant other with Aspergers

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I feel that there are not enough resources out there talking about women with mild Aspergers disorder as wives. I am getting married soon and I have trouble with finding a good resource on ways that my husband can support me. I read a book about it to help me better understand it, but most books don't bother to mention examples or testimonials about men who have Asperger wives. It's always examples of Asperger HUSBANDS. So that doesn't help me much.

Plus it is also stressed all the time that someone with AS doesn't like physical affection, although I know that's true. I don't think it's true for all people. For me... my fiance gets the MOST of my affections. I am reserved with others, but with my fiance I am OVER affectionate... I'm always neeeding hugs from him and for him to hold my hand or rub my shoulders. When I first brought him to my house I was all over him and holding him and kissing him while he was trying to talk to my folks and my folks had to remind me "Hey, you gotta give him some space because too much affection is a little bit akward."

Any of you neurotypical husbands have a wife with mild Aspergers?
Any of you women with Aspergers with a neurotypical husband?
Please share with me your experiences.

Hi there,

I am not sure I have advice... but have you read this book? http://books.google.com/books/about/22_ ... x4ZEZ5qWgC

She also wrote Aspergirls and that was really helpful for my boyfriend to read. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage

Hi,

I agree there is so little out there for us.

I am the AS spouse, but I have gone through most of my life not knowing 'what' specifically I was dealing with, so my marriage has taken, and is taking, some hits that would likely have been a lot better with foreknowledge.

It sounds like you have a real relationship with your fiance, which is good. You have a friendship base. I got married, in truth, due to my proximity and much too quickly. I had also had a very abusive first marriage. I am an older woman with a 'script' from an older generation, class, and social environment where there was a great deal of pressure for 'proper' women's roles. I had no other guidance and I was wide open for predators.

A couple thoughts right off, and I will put some thought into more. I have children, and luckily we are still close, but it was a very tough go. That is something else I can touch on later. For now:

1) If you have access to a psychologist specializing in AS, I would recommend marriage counseling even if it is "an annual visit" and a little more if needed. Even if things seem peachy keen. There are so many variables in life, no matter what our wiring, that this will help you through changes and challenges. Problems are always best caught early, or prevented in the first place as much as in our control.

2) I isolate, my husband suffers isolation. It is nice you are affectionate, but watching my own spouse, I long ago said: go without me to social events. It is wonderful you are affectionate, but he will need some other relationships suited to his wiring and temperament. He may be the type to not need a lot, but you will have a healthier and happier spouse if he fills some of those needs. Maybe he likes old cars or something, I would give him a push to do something he enjoys. He might not see it now, but in the long run an established hobby will do him good. And this does you good.

Congratulations and much happiness, LM