Somebody addressing me while I am doing something

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I didn't have a problem with this until the following situation happened a few times at my former workplace, which I left a few months ago:

I had one particular colleague about my father's age. Every now and then, as I was doing some work, she would start to tell me some life story of hers. At first I would just pause and listen, thinking she would be done in a few minutes. But she would keep on talking and talking and I didn't feel comfortable - I go to work to work, not just to listen to people telling stories! So I would try and do a little work while mostly appearing to be listening. The other person within earshot and visibly listening would be our supervisor, who a little older than the colleague. Usually before these story-telling sessions began, he would be reading the paper, or doing less time consuming work than mine.

However, one thing I always have to keep in mind when interacting with people of my parents' generation and older is to show them respect. I can do this easily in situations where all the other social rules are being followed.

I sense there is a very strong perception among the older generation that "kids these days aren't as respectful/hardworking/(insert virtue) as in our time". As the only full-time staff member of my generation at work, I did my best at work, not only because this is the way that I work, but because I don't want to be labelled as "one of those kids who is disrespectful/not obedient". But sometimes there would be an older adult, who would stick this label on a youngster for the simple reason they don't like the way the youngster does things - even if the youngster is actually more correct or efficient, and the adult in question is actually in the wrong. I eventually realised, through other incidents, that the story-telling colleague was "one of those adults".

After I resigned, I took a break before going freelance. And then I recently discovered that when my mum speaks to me as I am reading the newspaper/eating, I am finding it more mentally draining to follow the story she is relating. Although this happens at home, where I am less constrained compared to at a workplace, I feel I am in the same dilemma - continue reading/eating as I listen? Stop and listen?

I considered going to a counsellor, but to explain all the things that had been happening at work would require me to remember and relate what I am beginning to put behind and forget. But I don't want to stay in this state too long. I have been trying to occupy myself constructively (work preparation, volunteer work, reading, watching TV). Is there anything else I can do? Thanks.

I too find it practically impossible to split my attention 2 ways. A lot of people in my workplace don't realise that, and they come up and ask me questions and things when I'm immersed in a task. That stresses me out....its got better since I divulged my DX to my employer, because if anybody does complain about my single-mindedness, I can just turn round and say "what did you expect from an Aspie?" It hasn't been necessary to do that yet, but it comforts me that I at least have a rational medical argument to defend myself with if I ever need to.

The problem is that I can't even break off what I'm doing for long enough to put the interrupter at ease, without losing my place in the original task. Sometimes I've wished I had a card that I could hand out at such times, a card that explained clearly and politely what the problem is. There are lots of coping strategies that I could use......I could learn to jot down a few simple mnemonics that would allow me to return to what I was doing more easily (much of my work is batch-processing, so all I really need is to write down the item number I've got to)......also I could learn a few platitudes to say to the interrupters - just a few things to put them at ease....some kind of estimate of when I'll be able to get back to them is useful, and a brief apology (yes I know it's not my fault, but a quick "sorry" can be a good way of acknowledging the other person's feelings about being pushed away and reassuring them that I don't like that any more than they do).

It's difficult if you've got somebody who doesn't know when to stop though. My father could talk at people for hours, and would often look quite offended if anybody showed signs of listener-fatigue, until he learned why they were doing that. Basically it's the rejection that hurts.....you're probably dealing with a rather lonely person, possibly with Aspie traits (hence their inability to see the situation from your point of view), so a bit of reassurance could help, if you can find some way of showing them that although you can't handle sudden interruptions of unknown length, it doesn't mean to say that you're completely disinterested in what they want to share. There are so many people on this planet who go around talking everybody's back legs off, and I'm sure a lot of them could rehabilitate quite well if only others would give them the right amount of firmness-with-warmth, but most folks just make a weak pretense of listening, avoid them forever after, and tell everybody what a bore they are.

For people going on a lot, if it was work related I'd listen. Quite often there would be an interruption such a phone ringing to cut off their story. Your aspieness can come in useful if you put your head down, look disinterested and don't encourage them to continue with social signals.
To some extent you could say I'm really sorry I need to get on with this.

If they are breaking your concentration with work queries you can ask them if it is urgent and ask them to hang on just a minute. If it is not, you could ask them to come back in 5 or 10 minutes when you have finished what you have doing or ask if there is a time later on. If you are not as easily accessible to some extent people will stop bothering you as they can't reply on your dropping everything all the time.

I mentioned to my boss when I started working with her that I am on the spectrum. It helped that some of the kids we work with are special needs too (autism, ADHD, dyslexic). She seemed quite understanding at that point.

But over time I started to get more and more tasks not related to my main job of teaching the kids. Just before I left my boss was saying that yes, she knows I am on the spectrum and they have already reduced my duties and my NT colleagues work harder than me, so why was I finding work so difficult?

I find it impossible to split my attention 2 ways. I get very overwhelmed if this happens. I am so glad I haven't had to be in situations that require it too much. I can't even answer the phone when I'm doing something else, lol. My brain overloads. Oh well it's a common Aspie thing anyway, just something you gotta live with and work around. It's harder at work of course.

I think that doing several things at the same time (multitasking) is a myth in general and most autistic people are certainly not capable of multitasking. Doing one thing at the time without distractions is more than enough for us and that probably goes for the whole of humanity as well. The difference is that autistic people are more honest about it.