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lokilost
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08 Oct 2011, 9:44 am

So I finally got to go to a psychologist and get my clinical diagnosis as aspergers verified with a doctoral diagnosis. I expected to be changed to High functioning autism. To my surprise, after all the evaluating and testing and stuff, the psychologist says I'm borderline Low functioning.

I get his reasoning, and I think the diagnosis makes sense.

What I don't get, is I'm 19. I can understand being misdiagnosed and autism overlooked when I was younger if I was high functioning, but even the doctor said that he'd never heard of a case of someone being as low functioning as he placed me, and reaching my age without a diagnosis, unless they were born a good while before I was.

The doctor said that at my age there isn't really any help for someone in my position, everyone else either didn't receive a diagnosis because your able to make it through with coping skills and minimal intervention, or they received a diagnosis earlier and are receiving help/received help in the past by which they are able to get by, or their family or an institution is responsible for their care.

Why? Why is there no help? Why is this unheard of? What do I do? Should I even pursue help? Or does it place me in danger of being ruled incompetent? Could they take me from my husband on the basis of this diagnosis? If my husband and I have kids, could they try to take them away from us?

I already deal with people being a-hats daily. I had a woman tell me I couldn't run a stand at the farmers market unless I brought a "handler" with me, because my "social oddness" bothered the other vendors and they thought I might scare customers away. At church, I had the bishop advise my husband to divorce me and have me sent away, because he thought that the time devoted to my care took away from his spiritual growth. I don't know what to do, and I'm more than a little scared.



ediself
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08 Oct 2011, 9:58 am

Relax, breathe slowly, and don't panick . People cannot take you away from your husband, your husband would have to sign an agreement form for this to happen.As far as children are concerned, I have 2 of my own and have had the same fears you have, but the important point when you DO have them is to make everything LOOK like you're a good mother, which has nothing to do with the education you give them but: the cleanliness of your home, of their clothes and bodies, their regular attendance to school, the fact that they are well fed. This is what people want to see and as long as all this is met, there is no danger.
I'm implying with this, that, of course, you will not be a violent or otherwise abusive mother, which i think doesn't need to be said.
Stand up for yourself, too. You may have social oddness but you were not rude enough to comment on her face's oddness, right, so she could be likewise polite while talking to you.



ComplexRobot
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08 Oct 2011, 10:12 am

I think you're still young and there's still a lot of room to grow!

Since you are aware of your condition, you can easily cope and live a wonderful life!

There's plenty of resources to help you. Here and many other places.

I don't think it's grounds for taking you away from your husband. At least I hope not, but I don't know the legal details about this.

Also, it sucks that you've had so many life problems, and I and many others here definitely feel for you!
I hope everything in your life just becomes amazing and all of your problems melt away!



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08 Oct 2011, 10:22 am

Only a court can rule you incompitent, even if that happens they wont take you away from your husband or your kids away as long as you are with your husband.

As far as declaring you incompitent...that doesnt happen that often, but is a long involved court process. Unless you go around breaking laws and are a danger to the public, the goverment is not going to seek you out to declare you incompitent. Usually it is done by parents who declare their disabled children incompitent in order to keep parrental control over them to protect them.

As far as the lady at the farmer's market and the preacher man...they can go to hell expecially the preacher man cause the church is supposed to be against divorce and your husband married you knowing that you had some quirks in the least.
If he suggests that he put you away for spiritual growth...I hate to see how to treats his congeration with that philosophy.

As far as help goes, Emory university in Atlanta has a really good autism center for ppl of all ages. I will find you a link.

Jojo


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lokilost
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08 Oct 2011, 10:26 am

ediself: Breathes. Thank you. Cleaning can be problematic, but I've been getting better at it. My friend D. has been teaching me little tricks to help remember how and in what order and what it's supposed to look like when done. I do when it counts, like against the bishop. But sometimes I prefer to do what I can to make other's lives easier, even if what does it is simply finding another market to sell at so I don't bother them.



jojobean
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08 Oct 2011, 10:28 am

http://www.psychiatry.emory.edu/PROGRAM ... 0flyer.pdf

here's the link...they work with people who are from the lowest end of the spectrum to the highest and ppl of all ages.


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zette
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08 Oct 2011, 10:35 am

I would suggest contacting the local autism society, ask what parents in the area are doing to help their "transition-age" children, then see if there is some way for you to get into those groups or classes. You might look for an aspie group run by a speech therapist. If you enroll in a class or two, the disability office at some local community colleges or universities might know of additional resources.



lokilost
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08 Oct 2011, 10:39 am

jojobean wrote:
Only a court can rule you incompitent, even if that happens they wont take you away from your husband or your kids away as long as you are with your husband.

As far as declaring you incompitent...that doesnt happen that often, but is a long involved court process. Unless you go around breaking laws and are a danger to the public, the goverment is not going to seek you out to declare you incompitent. Usually it is done by parents who declare their disabled children incompitent in order to keep parrental control over them to protect them.

As far as the lady at the farmer's market and the preacher man...they can go to hell expecially the preacher man cause the church is supposed to be against divorce and your husband married you knowing that you had some quirks in the least.
If he suggests that he put you away for spiritual growth...I hate to see how to treats his congeration with that philosophy.

As far as help goes, Emory university in Atlanta has a really good autism center for ppl of all ages. I will find you a link.

Jojo


Yeah, my parents tried to do that when I was about to turn 18, so they could in their words "keep me their slave forever". I left, and they didn't pursue it further. Since then, tho, I've had a fear they'll try again. While I've forgiven them for abusing me because of their mental state, I don't trust them not to do so again, and I can't forgive the Government Agencies and courts that ignored me when I asked for help.

I have a feeling that the Bishop will learn his lesson sooner or later. My husband married me knowing exactly what he was doing, we already knew I was some form of autistic from a tentative clinical diagnosis, he has a degree in psychology, and we'd been living together for 6 months. More than one has helping us against his direct "suggestion", so I expect his lesson will be sooner rather than later.

As for the help, thank you, I'd much appreciate a link.



lokilost
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08 Oct 2011, 10:52 am

zette wrote:
I would suggest contacting the local autism society, ask what parents in the area are doing to help their "transition-age" children, then see if there is some way for you to get into those groups or classes. You might look for an aspie group run by a speech therapist. If you enroll in a class or two, the disability office at some local community colleges or universities might know of additional resources.


I tried that. Unfortunately despite my age, I don't qualify for transition services, because I graduated, and in another state. The only transition age help is offered from the school system, and only to current/former students. As far as other local help, the only thing my insurance covers is county mental health, which will only provide me with a therapist. I was fortunate enough to get one who has a child with autism, so she is more understanding than most there, but she has said that she can't really be of much help, just someone to talk to. County Mental Health does not have any designated help for autistic, their primary clients are those with psychiatric illnesses or substance abuse problems, and they don't really know what to do to help me.

I have no income, and my husband is paid in food and living necessities. I can not get financial aid because of what happened last time I tried to go to college. So there is no way I can enroll in any classes.

They are all good suggestions, however, thank you.