"Why" questions... anyone else hate them?

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Ellytoad
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17 Oct 2011, 10:45 am

Especially when the only answer to them is, "Because."
It gets worse when you end up getting lectured if you do try to humor the other person with a fabricated answer.

A similar annoyance: trying to get someone to leave you alone by giving them a string of excuses for why you don't want to do something, and having all of them get refuted. After a while of that, I just want to punch something in the face.

I'd love to learn an all-purpose method for getting and keeping people off of my back. In my head, "I just don't want to" never seems to sound as though it would be effective.



syrella
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17 Oct 2011, 11:01 am

Being as direct as possible is usually my solution. Tell them you don't want to and leave it at that. You shouldn't need to explain your decisions unless you want to.


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17 Oct 2011, 11:14 am

No, I like them. I think most people don't ask "why" enough and therefore no one ever has any actual logical basis for their opinions. Asking "why" challenges people to reconsider their stand which might not be rooted in fact.

The inverse is also true. I enjoy being challenged to reconsider myself. Well "enjoy" may not be the correct word but I think I am better for it.



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17 Oct 2011, 11:40 am

''Why'' questions don't bother me too much. I ask them a lot!

Things what bothers me is when somebody natters on a lot and don't give you a chance to speak properly and when you do they interrupt, and so you end up just saying ''yeah'' and ''no'' to everything they say because they're the only words you can fit in.
Also (for example) if somebody said, ''I think the job-centre in Chelmsford is pointless'', and I said, ''yeah'', and then they said, ''well it is though'', and so I've got to say ''yeah'' again.


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MrXxx
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17 Oct 2011, 11:57 am

This question gives me a bit of a chuckle because I think it reveals something about Aspies in general.

Aspies, in general, tend to hate it when they are asked why about things that seem obvious to themselves, and tend to simply answer, "Well, because" thinking that is all the explanation anyone should need. "I mean, if I know, everyone should know, right?" Very Aspie indeed.

On the other hand, Aspies, especially young Aspies, tend to want detailed explanations for absolutely everything. They tend to ask "Why" more than, and into later ages than, other people. That's been my observation anyway. Even I do it.

I hate being asked why all the time, yet I myself do ask why all the time. If you think it's a pain between Aspies and NT's, try living in a house with FIVE Aspies!

Man, we're constantly getting miffed at each other for the others asking why all the time, and getting miffed because none of us like to answer the question in detail.

This house is full of "But why...?" followed by, "Harrumph!" :roll:

I'm sure it's hilarious looking from the outside in, but it's pretty frustrating living with it daily.


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17 Oct 2011, 12:07 pm

It's annoying when "why?" is asked and the asker refuses to believe or accept your answer.



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17 Oct 2011, 12:13 pm

I love asking "why", but only when someone can actually answer the question. I find that most of the time, people cannot answer my "why" questions.


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Adynamica
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17 Oct 2011, 12:23 pm

Someone is "Why is -this- on the floor? :evil: :x :x :evil: "
Then me: " ... because it was has fallen or dropped? :? "

"Why don't you ever do this? :cry: :cry: "
"Because it is not haven brought up before the now... "

"Why would you doing that? 8O 8O "
"Because I am want to, or am must to... "

Then I am telled to do something, and then I am do. Then, or after, I am ask, "why?"
The response is always, "Just do it! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: "
As if the ask of WHY is mean that I am not do it?

It is only make sense when I am ask why. It is not make sense when others have ask me why. I am read of MrXxx and that does make sense for a me.



MrXxx
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17 Oct 2011, 12:53 pm

Adynamica wrote:
Someone is "Why is -this- on the floor? :evil: :x :x :evil: "
Then me: " ... because it was has fallen or dropped? :? "

"Why don't you ever do this? :cry: :cry: "
"Because it is not haven brought up before the now... "

"Why would you doing that? 8O 8O "
"Because I am want to, or am must to... "

Then I am telled to do something, and then I am do. Then, or after, I am ask, "why?"
The response is always, "Just do it! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: "
As if the ask of WHY is mean that I am not do it?

It is only make sense when I am ask why. It is not make sense when others have ask me why. I am read of MrXxx and that does make sense for a me.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

See? There ya go! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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Ellytoad
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17 Oct 2011, 1:05 pm

MrXxx wrote:
This question gives me a bit of a chuckle because I think it reveals something about Aspies in general.

Aspies, in general, tend to hate it when they are asked why about things that seem obvious to themselves, and tend to simply answer, "Well, because" thinking that is all the explanation anyone should need. "I mean, if I know, everyone should know, right?" Very Aspie indeed.

On the other hand, Aspies, especially young Aspies, tend to want detailed explanations for absolutely everything. They tend to ask "Why" more than, and into later ages than, other people. That's been my observation anyway. Even I do it.

I hate being asked why all the time, yet I myself do ask why all the time. If you think it's a pain between Aspies and NT's, try living in a house with FIVE Aspies!

Man, we're constantly getting miffed at each other for the others asking why all the time, and getting miffed because none of us like to answer the question in detail.

This house is full of "But why...?" followed by, "Harrumph!" :roll:

I'm sure it's hilarious looking from the outside in, but it's pretty frustrating living with it daily.


Your answer gave me a good laugh. You're right, too... I like to know details. I do try to catch myself from asking 'why' if I know the explanation is obvious enough for me to figure out on my own, though.



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17 Oct 2011, 1:48 pm

I also hate "Why" questions with a passion.

"Why do you love England so much?"
That's where some of my ancestors were from.

"Why aren't you like most women?"
Because I've never felt female.

"Why Mick Avory?"
Because he's the perfect role model for me. I'm just like him to begin with, anyways so I don't have to try so hard. So I can be the nice guy all the time.

"Why do you speak with an accent?"
Because certain traits skip generations through the Family Tree.

"Why are you people asking me all these questions?"
Duh....we don't know.


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League_Girl
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17 Oct 2011, 2:05 pm

Anyone else finding the irony of this thread?

Aspies usually want a logical explanation for things so they are likely to ask "why?" and it annoys people because they don't like to explain themselves or explain everything. They just want you to do it. Now we are finding even aspies get annoyed with this too and don't even want to always explain themselves either. Let this all be a lesson for us, if you can't stand the question "why?" stop asking it yourself and just do it.



Ganondox
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17 Oct 2011, 7:19 pm

MrXxx wrote:
This question gives me a bit of a chuckle because I think it reveals something about Aspies in general.

Aspies, in general, tend to hate it when they are asked why about things that seem obvious to themselves, and tend to simply answer, "Well, because" thinking that is all the explanation anyone should need. "I mean, if I know, everyone should know, right?" Very Aspie indeed.

On the other hand, Aspies, especially young Aspies, tend to want detailed explanations for absolutely everything. They tend to ask "Why" more than, and into later ages than, other people. That's been my observation anyway. Even I do it.

I hate being asked why all the time, yet I myself do ask why all the time. If you think it's a pain between Aspies and NT's, try living in a house with FIVE Aspies!

Man, we're constantly getting miffed at each other for the others asking why all the time, and getting miffed because none of us like to answer the question in detail.

This house is full of "But why...?" followed by, "Harrumph!" :roll:

I'm sure it's hilarious looking from the outside in, but it's pretty frustrating living with it daily.


I'm the only person in my family to be diagonosed with Aspergers (after having enough meltdowns and stubbornness in school the school payed for me to get evaluated for whether or not I had Aspergers, and even though I'm not even the child who had the most problems I was the only one to have been tested), but I think at least four of my siblings have several aspie traits, and I think at least one of my parents, particulary my mother, shows a few small signs. My family is very chaotic with itself, but we are still ordered enough to function in a stable manner. I might know what it's like to be in a family of at least five aspies.

Regarding why questions, I hate answering them as I respond with "I dunno" or "because" far too often.



Last edited by Ganondox on 17 Oct 2011, 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Oct 2011, 10:44 pm

I like "why" questions. In fact, I like most questions.
How else will people learn, except by asking questions?


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17 Oct 2011, 10:50 pm

Ultimately the only answer to any 'why' question is 'Because.'

I've tried to define what 'why' means exactly but I've never quite been able to do it. Something about 'giving a reason'? But is everything in the universe reasonable? Pi isn't reasonable and yet it exists.

Yet I do have the idea that I know basically what 'why' means. I can't explain it.



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17 Oct 2011, 10:54 pm

mglosenger wrote:
Pi isn't reasonable and yet it exists.

Pi is reasonable, since it defines the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi is irrational, however.

"Why?"

Because Pi can not be defined by the ratio between any two integer values.


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