Funny mistake you've made by taking something literally?

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Let us share some amusing tales. Here's one of mine:

I was seeing a psychologist for bullying problems in grade 4 (2 years before my AS diagnosis), and she told me that I kept "beating around the bush". In my head I envisioned a large forest with me beating bushes around the edges. I was flummoxed and told her I didn't understand what she was talking about.

I also remember being in second grade and my school principal asked me why have I been flicking the boys off at lunch from my class. I told her I hadn't. In my head I was picturing myself using my fingers to flick the boys and they fall off their feets like you do with bugs when they land on you or when you see a piece of dirt or paper on the table and you flick it.

in 3rd grade during a reading circle the yelled at me duck!! and I was looking around for a duck and I get hit in the head by an eraser thrown at me by the teacher-she was explaining the differences in words and she meant duck in to scrunch down and not the bird.

This might sound stupid, but what exactly does "flicking the boys off" actually mean?
And with my guitar teacher, he told me I needed to learn the scales "like the back of your/my hand" (I'm nt sure how to refer to myself here, as it would be changing the quotation to use "my", but otherwise it makes no sense, if someone could tell me what to do in these situations, as I've often been confused by it; I'd greatly appreciate). After I asked what it meant, we spent the rest of the lesson discussing some imagined person who had come up with the phrase, deducting that they must have spent hours on end studdying their hand.

It means that you show them your hand with the middle finger extended and all the other fingers folded down. Also known as "flipping them off".

I remember clearly coming home from school one day and frantically asking my mother to check my closet for the beast with two backs...

I once got a call from one of those survey-conducting individuals. I didn't quite know the context for the survey or the sort of information she was looking for. At one point she asked me "What comes to mind when you think of 'florist'?" I told her exactly what came to mind: a pink flower. (I think I associate the "f" sound with pink and the flower part is obvious.)

She seemed kind of annoyed/incredulous and repeated back at me, "A pink flower?" It was then that I realized she'd been looking for the name of a business and wasn't trying to conduct some sort of word-association psychoanalysis.

This:

In grade school...maybe fourth grade? The teacher asked me to go outside to "bang" (clean) the chalkboard erasers. A few minutes later she came to check on my progress. Much to her horror she found me banging away, making the most hideous mess....In the HALLWAY, just "outside" the classroom door. I guess it never occurred to her to clarify "outside".

When I was 14 I had a probation officer ask me "if you ever took a hit off a joint". I think she was mad and probably thought I was lying when I didn't know what she meant. Had she just asked me "have you ever smoked marijuana" I would have understood her. The answer was no.

When I was 8 I was given a piece to read in class along with everyone else, and asked questions on it later. In the story (if it could be called that) there was opportunity for a monkey to gather monkey nuts for lunch.

When asked later what monkeys eat for one of the questions I NATURALLY turned back to the story asked and gave my answer as I thought it should be given, for example, correctly based on the story just read.

Of course no one told me that the test was anything but logical or that it had anything in common with what I had just read, so when I wrote "monkey nuts" I was absolutely correct. The answer they were instead looking for was "bananas" which had absolutely nothing to do with the story.

The teachers didn't have to laugh and point at me in the corridors for days after; I didn't bother with school much after that and virtually quit completely by the time I was 12.

Last edited by Sparhawke on 19 Oct 2011, 3:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well tonite my roommate brought taco bell for dinner and I saw three boxes in the bags. Well she left the bags in the table and I said “I am gonna go get my box” she said “there is no box there u would know this if for once you paid attention” I got really frisking frustrated because I picked up the bag and saw that there was this XXL chalupa thing in a box in there, I was like “But this IS a box!” she was like “I meant there was no box meal” “ok . . then what do I get? “ there is three of everything in there” again I panicked, how could there be three of EVERYTHING in a taco bell bag? She had to explain to me there was three of each item that was bought so I asked, what type of items did you get? She said a potato taco a burrito and a chalupa thing. I got to have one of each of those three items in the bag. I felt so silly not understanding! lol

I don't take things literally, I mean, come on, I think I'm smart enough to know the differences in somebody using a metaphor when they're speaking or not.

Occasionally I've took something literally (even NTs can occasionally). like once my friend was saying about a man has asked her out and comes round and she doesn't really fancy him or want him as a boyfriend, and he ''puts the mockers on her'' when he comes in. She described that in a different way by saying, ''it's that smell when he comes in - I really smell the smell'', and by her tone of voice part of me figured it must be some sort of metaphor, but because I hadn't really heard that phrase before, I thought I'd take it literally, just to make sure, so I said, ''oh dear. What does he smell of?''

It was quite funny.

I hardly ever take things literally anymore, I have read too many books and watched too much television to keep making the same literal assumptions, however one of my best friends (who I had recently told) was telling a joke in a pub to me and he pointed off over my shoulder to indicate a man walking down the street and before I could think about it my head had whipped around to look at the wall...

It is the little things like this that I sometimes have issues with, and of course when I have never heard a slang phrase before.

Back about 10 years ago I used to ask so many questions of people that they kind of got pissed off, but in those two years I learnt a hell of a lot; so am far more able to fit in.

Just recently my Art lecturer from hell asked me how i made my digital art pieces that were printed on high quaity photo gloss paper.
He asked me "so how did you make them?"
I thought "does he think i made these with modeling clay, sticky tape and glue or does he want a long detailed instructions starting from scratch on how i made these on the computer. I started drawing on the program called gimp out of boredom and then started drawing more random objects that became these and then i coloured them using these gradients of colour etc..."
I thought perhaps no, he'd think i was being smart assed if i had said that so i had to ask him "can you be more direct please?"
I think he struggled with trying to be more direct that i struggled not to give him every single detail that consisted of all 6 art pieces i had hanging up at the time.

I take things literally all the time, even at this age. It's a symptom of Asperger's. All the most common metaphors I get due to past learning, but sarcasm and more unusual metaphors often trip me up. I can guarantee you, I am not a stupid person.