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Christopherwillson
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21 Oct 2011, 8:35 am

Hello everyone :D

so last night i started thinking about how other people might perceive me and look upon me.

the two first things i thought were Genius and Hulk.., i am always very quiet and when i talk i just say wise things or come up with quotes or wisdom.

but when people step an inch. out of line i turn into the hulk and scream at them..

it just really annoys me.. it's like i am two people in one body and it seems as if it's tough for people to be around me cause they are scared to do wrong.

as you can think i hate the hulk part but it's just me having a meltdown(which i have a lot) because i am the rule enforcer in the house since my parents are very kind and soft and they think they'll hurt my brother and sisters when they ask them to follow the rules, i don't wanna have that reputation, i want people to see me as the old genius and just never have a meltdown again.

any advice?
(btw my family doesn't wanna know about the asperger's syndrome, i tried to force them to read about it but they don't.) advice on that is welcome 2.


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fallen_angel
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21 Oct 2011, 9:39 am

Hi rule enforcer, I think you won't earn respect of your siblings by screaming. I think they only feel intimidated and scared. Don't confuse fear with respect.
Showing kids boundaries needs understanding and the willingness to explain things and to open boundaries when its the right time. Kids need a voice and someone who takes them seriously and listens. You want them to listen so be the listener, you want them to follow so don't step over your own boundaries. Act with them as you want them to act with you, show respect and talk with words they understand. You don't set rules by changing into hulk, you set them by persistence and reliability and that doesn't need harsh words and rudeness.
These are my wise words from my life experience, maybe it helps you. I know it's not easy but you learn from kids as well but people often ignore that.
Maybe next time when you feel like screaming go outside and scream at anything what doesn't have feelings or buy a punchbag, when you feel better talk in a normal tone with your siblings.
I wish you many success.



Christopherwillson
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21 Oct 2011, 9:42 am

fallen_angel wrote:
Hi rule enforcer, I think you won't earn respect of your siblings by screaming. I think they only feel intimidated and scared. Don't confuse fear with respect.
Showing kids boundaries needs understanding and the willingness to explain things and to open boundaries when its the right time. Kids need a voice and someone who takes them seriously and listens. You want them to listen so be the listener, you want them to follow so don't step over your own boundaries. Act with them as you want them to act with you, show respect and talk with words they understand. You don't set rules by changing into hulk, you set them by persistence and reliability and that doesn't need harsh words and rudeness.
These are my wise words from my life experience, maybe it helps you. I know it's not easy but you learn from kids as well but people often ignore that.
Maybe next time when you feel like screaming go outside and scream at anything what doesn't have feelings or buy a punchbag, when you feel better talk in a normal tone with your siblings.
I wish you many success.

Thanks, it's just that the ones who break the rules most are 18+ :P they know that they break the rules and they just don't give a sh*t about it.


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fallen_angel
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21 Oct 2011, 9:46 am

Quote:
Thanks, it's just that the ones who break the rules most are 18+ :P they know that they break the rules and they just don't give a sh*t about it.


Sure I'm aware of this problem but if you don't act differently you're not better so go ahead with a good example and change things by acting differently. A genius should have no problem with that I suppose.



Christopherwillson
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21 Oct 2011, 9:56 am

fallen_angel wrote:
Quote:
Thanks, it's just that the ones who break the rules most are 18+ :P they know that they break the rules and they just don't give a sh*t about it.


Sure I'm aware of this problem but if you don't act differently you're not better so go ahead with a good example and change things by acting differently. A genius should have no problem with that I suppose.

I'll do that :D thanks for your response.


_________________
Who's to say I can't live forever? Jack Sparrow

Aspie score: 182-200

Don't know what to say.