is there any life for an aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

im struggling to find a real purpose in life when everything i touch turns to poo. iv had enuff of upsetting people around me, i isolate myself and start upsetting myself. to me this is a lose lose senario.

Been there and done that for over 50 years, myself. I drive my NT family members crazy because I don't fit into the NT world, and they drive me crazy because--you guessed it--I don't fit into the NT world. It's a no win situation. There is no "cure" for this, but there are coping mechanisms.

1. The first coping mechanism is that I now live alone, and suggest this for others in a similar situation. I get along better with my relatives now that we don't have to live together. It's not perfect, but it is definitely better.
2. Humor
3. Music
4. Keep yourself distracted with work and interests.

These 4 things have all helped me.

As far as having a purpose in life, that one is up to you. There are many charities out there that could use some help, you could help at your house of worship, get involved in helping to elect candidates you like, take up a new hobby, take courses online or in person, plant and maintain a garden, join a club, etc. This only scratches the surface of what's available out there, and the best part is that YOU get to pick which activities you get involved in. And, many of these activities require little or no money to participate.

Have a good, and interesting life, and remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

Well, being NT doesn't necessarily mean you will live a glamorously fabulous life either, just because you've got more social skills. My dad is NT and he can't say he's done much with his life, except had 2 kids, one's got chronic depression and one's an Aspie (me).

I do actually want to meet a man who I know I fancy, and go on holidays with him. I like men and I like holidays, so I think that will do me great. I'm no socialiser, I know that, but there's still chance of me meeting a man and doing these things. There are loads of Aspies on here who have met partners and have had kids and been on holidays, so who's to say I have got 0 chance? I'm only 21 so I've still got plenty of chance to do these things.

I know I have my moments, and my ups and downs, and I am full of self-hatred, but there is still hope.

Ban thinking, start doing!

I like my life. All 67 years of it has been worth it to me, and I didn't even start out with the advantage (or maybe disadvantage?) of knowing anything about Asperger's. Of course there were rough spots, everybody has those. But I'd do it again.

I've had a very rich and happy life. Do you want to know my secret? I don't think.

try hanging out with other aspies. it can be very rewarding.

I am an Aspie---and I have a life. And there are many Aspies who also have lives. You as an Aspie can have a life if you allow yourself to have a life. You must focus less on the negative aspects and focus more on the positive aspects. Even if you think there are no positives, I bet you can find some.

i have tried this, its what gets me in to uncomfortable situations. i have tried thinking aswell, this is hard and i don't always think right...

It really helps if you have something useful to do. I don't mean you have to cure cancer or something; just you have to have something to do with your time, something where you can see the results and say, "Yeah, I did that." It doesn't have to be grand. Like, say you're a video game nerd; well, you could go and edit a wiki for your favorite game. I did that once, and I'm still proud of my work. (Sims 2, if you're wondering.) Or, you can do some volunteer work. Lots of places just need people with a pair of hands and the ability to do simple work, and most autistics have that (though the sensory issues can mean you have to shop around before you find something that fits). You can create something. I like to make afghans and quilts, personally; and to write essays.

You know how everybody thinks that you've only got a good life if you've got a big house with an Olympic-sized pool, a job that involves filling said pool with cash and swimming in it, and regular sexual encounters with beautiful specimens of the gender of your choice; and that the closer you get to that, the better your life is? Yeah. Well, they're wrong.

For the vast majority of us, that wouldn't be a good life. Sure, if you had that kind of life, people might envy you; but everything I've ever read about happiness (not including cheesy self-help books, which I avoid like the plague) says that people who are satisfied with life are the people who find that they have useful things to do, meaningful interaction with others, and a sense of purpose. That's all. You can have that being a waiter or a housewife or an unemployed regular volunteer at the library's let's-read-books-to-kids program. You can have that if you're jogging with your dog, or getting better and better at Halo, or finally finishing that unpublishable first novel you're writing just for the heck of it.

You're not neurotypical. You shouldn't judge yourself by their standards; and if they try to judge you, feel free to stick your tongue out at them and blow a raspberry in the most audacious manner you can manage, because their opinions should matter about as much to you as the stock market does to my cat. Sure, you should live in peace with others--live and let live; help when you can, sympathize when you can't help. But you live YOUR life, not other people's idea of what your life should be. You only get one life--it's too precious to waste living it according to other people's idea of who you ought to be.