Contradictions

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Probably what I have the hardest time with are the contradictions. The positives and negatives. One end of the way or the other. You have to be one thing or the other. What if you're in the middle? But what is the middle if everything supports one another such as 20-80 and 80-20? Mind-splosion, I know.
I've always felt I've been different. Hard time with friends, explaining myself, etc. My family has always been that way.
I've always been okay, it didn't matter too much, because I could survive. My parents could help me out. However, recently we've had a kick in the butt with the economic issues, and they can't help me any more. So, I turn to ask for help, which is hard for me in the first place.
Those programs, food stamps, disability, medicare, all take action and going out of comfort zone, and sensory overload. New things, more places to go to, etc. etc. Then they make it so difficult to get onto it and do it all with the paper work. It's like they are saying "I want to help, but not really; so I'm going to make this as difficult for you as I can". A smile but with gritted teeth. I can't work. Too much. Jobs I did have, I'm surprised they didn't fire me earlier than they did. Got lucky, I guess.
Been looking over website and forums, debating on posting, or what. Heart's racing. I think this makes sense, but then I know it doesn't. More contradictions. I don't know. Can anyone give suggestions?

Contradictions are artifacts of our descriptions of reality. There are no contradictions, only faulty descriptions.

I used to contradict myself a lot about different issues in the 90s. I don't do that anymore. I just take myself as I am and embrace my reality, these days.

I "contradict" myself all the time people are confused by me. I keep changing my mind, can't make up my mind, I get mixed feelings, and people just get confused by me so they think I contradict myself. People are just ignorant is all. When you make yourself more clear, they think it's a contradiction and they can't seem to grasp they misunderstood you. So I don't bother correcting people anymore (I still do but not much) when they get something wrong about me in a situation or when they have misunderstood me. They're just too ignorant to see "Oops I misunderstood" but instead they get confused and think "She contradicted herself."

I had no idea applying for assistance was a contradiction. I just thought it was done to see if you apply so they can help you.

Is there anybody you could ask to help you out with the forms and figuring out which thing to focus on first?



Many things in life seem to need descriptions that include some version of the word "paradox"