impending doom feeling

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So. I know my lesson by heart, here it goes: Keep your house clean, Pay your bills as soon as they arrive, Children must be asleep by 9 pm, etc. The "real person" rules of the "how to be a real person" book. (don't google it, I made it up).
I know those things, and even though I struggle with very bad executive dysfunction, i do manage to pay the bills, most of the time, just the last day before the end of the ultimatum, but I do.
So why do I have this feeling of impending doom? my bills are paid, my kids are well cared for, my house is reasonably clean , I put so much energy into doing those things right, but I cannot enjoy the results of it, I have no feeling of accomplishment and on top of it I cannot answer my phone when it rings, or open my door when someone knocks.
WHY? It cannot be CPS, my kids are fine!! It cannot be someone official coming to tell me i'm getting evicted or to cut my electricity or god knows what, my bills are paid......
There have been times when all those were actual possibilities since I struggled to pay my bills, but these days I'm doing good, and still I am not relaxing. Is it simple social phobia or something else?
I used to be able to relax during the night, when all "official people" were at home with their families and not some menacing shadow ready to rape my doorbell, but now even this little relief is gone.
Is there anyone around here who has gone through this, and found a solution? Even if you haven't found a solution, mind you, I'd still like to hear suggestions...I feel exhausted from the adrenalin these days....

I think I understand your anxiety, for me in my past I had similar struggles paying my rent, had debts and feared the telephone or door bell going.
Since becoming debt free there are two things I changed in my new home. The telephone ringer which now plays a tune rather than an urgent tone and my door bell is now programmed to play a cock crowing currently but I can upload any mp3 file to change it if I wish. I have found that these simple measures don't make me jump out my skin so much. I also fitted CCTV at the door so I can choose to answer or not.

My brother and partner unplug their telephone if they want peace and quiet - they are NT so it is acceptable behaviour I reckon.

I have that and lately the littlest things set it off.

I've thought of cutting the doorbell's wires, i've put my phone's volume down, I like the CCTV idea though :p
But the thing is I can't relax even when it's sunday, even when I know noone can possibly be thinking of coming to my house , even during the night!!
This morning I was awoken by the sound of my doorbell, only when I checked by the window did I realise the sound was in my dream! I was standing there , my heart racing, in total panick ... it's getting out of control a bit.

What really helped me was meditation, it can work wonders on slowing a racing mind. I only went to a couple of night classes and immediately felt the benefit.

I get this anxious feeling everytime the phone rings, but not as severe as what you're describing. I don't answer the phone or the door, ever. Only a few people know my cell phone number, so I do answer my cell phone.

I don't know what to do about something like this. Maybe this is a sign that you are peopled out right now.

I get anxious sometimes two but about three times in by life I have experienced an extreme feeling of impending doom with no explanation, no target of the feeling like when I am dreading a meeting or sometime just a very vague but very intense feeling that something was about to happen.

I tell myself that the authorities have much bigger fish to fry. They do, you know. Just read the weekly local jail bookings on the newspaper website.

My electrician said she could install a switch so that I could turn off my doorbell, but CCTV sounds good too.

I find it easier to deal with those sorts ol thoughts early on in their development. I don't always recognize them for panicky, irrational thoughts when I haven't had them around for a while.

Could it be that there is something else that is unsettling you? In the way that you described that you worry even on the weekend and at night, it seems like maybe misplaced anxiety that is focusing on the wrong thing. Is there something else that is getting your anxiety up? It is a very common issue for me to be freaking out about something when it is actually something entirely different that has worn me down first. It's usually so hard for me to see at the time, and I'll deny that it is the case with my last breath when someone points it out, but usually in hindsight I can see what was actually going on.

The other thing about anxiety that is quite irrational is that the anxiety makes more anxiety. You worry that someone will come to the door, you feel anxious, you worry that is is irrational, you feel more anxious... Maybe you can try to remind yourself of the hard facts- That someone has only come to your door ___ times in the last ____ days. I know that it is really hard to make this work though.

Also, if in the past you have had difficult times when maybe you were at risk of losing your home, electricity, etc then it really is a difficult thing to overcome the feeling that no good things can last. But again, maybe over time the evidence to the contrary will be able to calm you. Goodluck.

@ btbnnyr: you say that i'm "peopled out", do you mean I've been interacting with too many people lately? It could be the reason...I have billions of very tense IEP meetings for my son, in a room full of NTs who positively despise me, and i'm not sure i'll ever see the end of it.....
@ alexi: I think both your points are good ones. This might be about the helplessness i feel about my son's future, the fact that every teacher in the school think he's ret*d and don't even try to freaking teach him anything (he's an aspie too, NOT mentally challenged dammit) , and worrying that he'll end up living in the streets jobless in 10 years because of these people... It might be the reason I'm so on edge these days, but I have no idea how to remedy that....
So that's what is getting my anxiety up, that and maybe a bit of burnout from all the meetings? What do I do, autosuggestion, medication, is there anything? If it's just generalized anxiety i suppose going to a doc and telling him about it would get me meds for it, but I remember taking anti depressants maybe ten years ago, and it made me feel like a rock star on heroin or something. Sure it felt good, but the general "I don't give a rat's ass about society" attitude that came with it wouldn't help me in an IEP meeting
I have no idea. Maybe I should sleep more but I can't sleep well these days.
Should I talk to a doctor then? Sorry if you read that rambly nonsense......

I have it too. Sometimes it's mild and sometimes it's awful. Mostly it's somewhere in between.

I think for me it is a mixture of anxiety, depression and various unresolved issues I can't really do anything about. I don't really have any answers/advice, but I just wanted to say I can relate.

I appreciate all of the "I can relate" posts. I know this sort of "socially directed" anxiety is pretty common, but it is getting exhausting and I think I know where it comes from, I have had to deal with numerous and very difficult (IE: dumb) people holding power over me and my kid, I've managed during the event but I think I'm paying the price for it. I need a "people holiday".

It sounds like free floating anxiety. Sometimes anxiety is just there and cannot latch onto any topic, so it just presents itself as a general fear....

for the most part I deal well with everyday things but when people screw me over, don't do their jobs correctly or just won't bother to correct a wrong that they've done to me. It eats me alive, I panic in my sleep also. the phone rings my heart rate goes thru the roof.

The real problem for me is that I didn't create these problems and I can't fix them. Most every problem I have is the creation of someone else.

"I am not my own worst enemy"

I got rid of a landline many years ago. I only have a cellphone, it's on mute or buzz most of the time and I usually don't answer calls unless I know who's calling and I want to talk to them.

I got into debt too and I've spent last two years aggressively paying it off. I will make my last payment next month and will be debt-free. It feels good. I enlisted help of a debt counseling agency. They renegotiated lower interest rates from my creditors, closed the accounts and put me on a flat monthly payment. You can do this even yourself, although having someone else do this for me was so much easier, of course. I only had to negotiate with one bank who refused to work with the agency and they were trying to bully and threaten me, "we don't do that", "you signed a contract". I just told them that they either comply with my request or I will stop paying and they know very well that even if they take me to court they might get half of the money at most while I'm willing to pay it off in full as long as they drop the ridiculous interest rate. I also told them that they have been bailed out by the govt with my f****g tax money while I'm struggling to pay off my debts so they either do what I ask or they can go to hell. They did it without further fuss.

Being in debt is very stressful. Getting out of debt also means you really don't want to borrow money again any more which means you may not be able to buy stuff you want. So I also embarked on a journey to simplify my life so my needs are basic and my wants are affordable. It was easier for me since I really dislike consumerism, shopping, greed, attachment to material possessions, buying stuff just to prove you're better than your neighbor, etc. I'm also handy, I can build, fix and maintain almost anything in my possession except for the car. I often buy used stuff, last year's stuff, etc. Having less "wants" also means clearer mind, less clutter (both physical and mental). I'm almost at the point when I'm ready to switch working part time, if I have to, and still be fine financially.

Oh, and yeah, I don't have children so it's much easier for me.

I tried to explain mine to a counsellor in that way, but he seemed to think I was just repressing something.

It's an interesting subject. Usually I know what's scaring me - the prospect of unruly neighbours, losing my job, losing close friends, upsetting people, running out of money, getting burgled, mugged, arrested, cancer, old age, etc. etc. But every now and then, it's just nonspecific anxiety. Mum was always very highly-strung, so maybe I've just inherited her temperament. I don't think she ever felt secure.

One cure is to go on a fairground ride that's scary enough to get your adrenaline going. Paradoxically, after the intense anxiety, the feeling of calm is brilliant. Similarly, taking a real risk for a nice reward might do the trick, though make sure it's a reasonable risk. You get a sense of "well, if I'm going to be scared then I may as well be scared by something that can help me." Sometimes music helps. I expect screaming and yelling helps too, but it might get misunderstood.

I'd be wary of hunting around your psyche too much for a reason behind nonspecific anxiety. If you have alexithymia to any degree, you might find it unproductive. Take a look by all means, but try not to get bogged down.