Halloween- Related Problems

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This is a little late, but Ive gotten into a fight with some people on another site because I said women shouldnt wear skimpy Halloween costumes. I think it contributes to their marginalization. I also think its better for people, in general, not to go around dressed like Snooki from Jersey Shore. I think it looks tacky.

The other people said I was being sexist, but I dont understand why. This is my personal opinion. I cant understand how wearing sexualized clothing has no relation to sex. It just doesnt make sense to me. I realize I am judgmental and easily pass judgment on others' clothing and Id like to stop being this way. Can anyone on here help explain things to me without being mean?

I'm guessing that they are finding you sexist because they believe you feel a certain sex shouldn't be allowed to wear certain costumes. However, I agree with you that I find sexualized costumes demeaning, and women wearing sexualized costumes promote sexism, in my view.

Thanks for your reply Yeah, they think that women should be able to wear what they want. But its my opinion that if you dress yourself that way, you will get treated like an object. I dont get how wearing sexualized clothing is empowering oneself.

Because you are saying women shouldn't wear something. It be like me saying women should be stay at home moms and not work and men should work and support their families. That be sexist.


I don't care how people dress and I never understand how it's an issue. Some people think grown ups shouldn't be wearing clothes with Disney characters or cartoons or think people shouldn't be going out in public wearing pajama bottoms. Some think men shouldn't be cross dressing. But thinking women shouldn't wear skimpy Halloween costumes, what about men? Do you think it's okay for men to wear those too? If so, that is why they thought it was sexist because you think women shouldn't do it but men can. But if you said "people," maybe things would have been different.

Well, the topic was womens' costumes, but I actually said I didnt think men should wear that kind of thing either. I think there is a double standard where only women are expected to wear sexy costumes at Halloween and I feel like more women shouldnt partake in that.

You might have heard of "Slut Walk" - this is a protest where women specifically where "sexy clothes" (whatever this may mean to individuals) and walk together in protest to the common misconception that women can be safer from sexual assault/rape if they don't dress in "provocative" clothing.

"Slut Walk" came into being when some women protested after a police officer was giving a talk to women regarding how to avoid being victimized by sexual assualt - the male police officer stated that they (women) should stay away from overly sexualized clothes.

The problem with this concept is this:

WHO decides what is "provocative" or "overly sexy" or "slu*ty" - one inch heels? two inch heels? red shoes? black shoes? Skirt just above the knee? Skirt several inches above the knee? A little cleavage showing? How much is 'too much' ?????

Depending on the personal opinion of each individual person - ANYTHING can be "provocative" or "slu*ty" Who decides?

A woman choosing to wear whatever she chooses to wear is okay. It is only "sexist" if someone else is demanding that she wear a certain item of clothing and the woman finds it uncomfortable. For example, lets say a restaurant wanted its employees to dress up for Halloween. The men were given pirate costumes featuring full length trousers, a white shirt, a black vest, hat and eye patch. The women were given microminies, a tight, plunging top, told they were required to wear make up and a hat and eye patch. The women might say, "Whoa, hold on a minute, this dress up thing is well and fine, but I would prefer to wear full length trousers and a loose, billowing white shirt too. This is keeping with the pirate theme, but I don't particularly want to wear short skirts, tight tops in this capacity as a waitress, this is a regular restaurant, not "Hooters" or "the Playboy Club" - where there is a bone fide job requirement to dress specifically to fit company image". Ergo - insisting female waitresses where very different attire than the men is sexist.

On the other hand - if the wait staff were told to dress in pirate attire and some women came in short skirts, plunging necklines and others more modest - then it is all about personal choice. I don't think that the woman in the more "sexy" attire are marginalized - they are just wearing what they are comfortable in.

In answer to your question, where you asked for explanation on how wearing sexualized clothing has no relations to sex:

Sexualized clothing is very much a matter of opinion. I am currently wearing a black, v neck, short sleeve top and a pair of black pants. I think I look like a comfortable frump. However, the Taliban would think I look like a harlot and feel I should wear a burka!!

Likewise, I might think that someone wearing a mini skirt, high heeled shoes and a low cut top looks a little provocative, but Erin Brockovitch (famous legal assistant about-whom-a-movie-starring-Julia Roberts was made) would think this was conservative business attire.

It is all a matter of opinion.

BTW - just an aside - I think that Snooki looks tacky too!! However, this is just my opinion, I would stop Snooki or anyone who likes Snooki's style to change their look based on my opinion and I kindly ask that others respect my personal style as well (even if they think I look like a frump )

Thank you also for your reply! I have kept myself up worrying about this cuz it really bothers me when I offend others on the internet. I have to think more about all of this but I see what you are saying.