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Halligeninseln
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03 Nov 2011, 3:26 pm

I have been told I have Aspergers. I would have liked to be able to ask my friends if they think so, too. But I have no friends. None at all :( . Which probably does confirm it, in a way.



Eloa
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03 Nov 2011, 3:37 pm

I also have no friends, my only contacts are my therapists and my husband, but he is away a lot and says he doesn't want to be limited by my austism to meet people, and I guess he is right in it, but it is very lonely. I have trouble maintaining friendships and fear of meeting new people and severe sensory issues keep me inside in the house anyway.


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Sparx
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03 Nov 2011, 3:43 pm

I hope you find it easier to make some online friends here. :(



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03 Nov 2011, 3:50 pm

Then what about asking your family, therapist?

Besides, if you did have friends. Unless their other aspies or are very familiar with Aspergers, they may not know either. My friends dont know what aspergers is? Even if I placed the dsm in there face and asked, do you think this describes me, I'd likely get a no.



MagicMeerkat
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03 Nov 2011, 3:54 pm

I never had any friends but I've never had the desire for them either.


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League_Girl
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03 Nov 2011, 3:56 pm

I don't have any either. I have had them in the past and now I on;y have online ones. I mostly have acquaintances.



Hyram_Inesh
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03 Nov 2011, 4:20 pm

yes I too am headed down the friendless path. I currently have a almost acceptable 3.75. But I fear... *dun dun dun* that sooner or later I will have 0.82 friends. *smh* :(



AdamDZ
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03 Nov 2011, 4:51 pm

Halligeninseln wrote:
I have been told I have Aspergers. I would have liked to be able to ask my friends if they think so, too. But I have no friends. None at all :( . Which probably does confirm it, in a way.


You don't have any friends because you don't desire any? Or for other reasons? AFAIK, if you don't desire friends it's a good sign that you have AS. But you'll need to look at your other symptoms too.

I had one friend for the last 15+ years, he moved to another state 7 years ago, we only kept in touch via email and saw each other 3 times. Then he died... and I don't want to have friends any more, ever.



Halligeninseln
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03 Nov 2011, 5:49 pm

AdamDZ wrote:
Halligeninseln wrote:
I have been told I have Aspergers. I would have liked to be able to ask my friends if they think so, too. But I have no friends. None at all :( . Which probably does confirm it, in a way.


You don't have any friends because you don't desire any? Or for other reasons? AFAIK, if you don't desire friends it's a good sign that you have AS. But you'll need to look at your other symptoms too.

I had one friend for the last 15+ years, he moved to another state 7 years ago, we only kept in touch via email and saw each other 3 times. Then he died... and I don't want to have friends any more, ever.


I don't have any friends because I have an overwhelming instinct to flee company and focus my mind in solitude.



Halligeninseln
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03 Nov 2011, 6:05 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
Then what about asking your family, therapist?

Besides, if you did have friends. Unless their other aspies or are very familiar with Aspergers, they may not know either. My friends dont know what aspergers is? Even if I placed the dsm in there face and asked, do you think this describes me, I'd likely get a no.


You're probably right about people not understanding the dsm, come to think of it. Though I showed my partner the criteria and she said it was 100% certain they fitted me. My reason for this post was really the dark poetry of (supposedly) having a disorder which makes making friends difficult, so that one has no friends to check the diagnosis of the disorder, which actually confirms it in part. I must have some form of autistic disorder otherwise I wouldn't shy away from social contact just to focus my mind and be in my own world.



Halligeninseln
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03 Nov 2011, 6:14 pm

Eloa wrote:
I also have no friends, my only contacts are my therapists and my husband, but he is away a lot and says he doesn't want to be limited by my austism to meet people, and I guess he is right in it, but it is very lonely. I have trouble maintaining friendships and fear of meeting new people and severe sensory issues keep me inside in the house anyway.


My partner stays alone when I'm alone and in my own space. If she was with someone sociable she would have a sociable life but she isn't so she has sat on her own a lot the last ten years. I'm lucky that she doesn't mind that, but I don't think it's good for her :( .



zen_mistress
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03 Nov 2011, 8:25 pm

I have 2 friends overseas who I dont see, and 2 living here in the same city as me, who I also never see. So I am not friendless, but I dont have any friends who I actually see. Probably once every six months I will see one of them. Perhaps they are all a figment of my imagination.

If I ever go out it is usually either with my parents/grandmother, or my brother and his fiance.


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IdahoRose
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04 Nov 2011, 1:32 am

I only have a couple of online friends, but no real ones. It's better this way because real-life friendships are too overwhelming for me to handle.



abc123
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04 Nov 2011, 1:41 am

I felt I just had acquaintances a few months ago and now would say that I have some friends. It has helped having a diagnosis, starting an anti-depressant, and also some specialist asperger centre counselling and support from an autism work organisation. I'm a lot more active going out a lot.



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04 Nov 2011, 2:34 am

I have a couple RL friends, but I didn't know of people who shared my interests until the internet.



readingbetweenlines
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04 Nov 2011, 3:33 am

AdamDZ wrote:
You don't have any friends because you don't desire any? Or for other reasons? AFAIK, if you don't desire friends it's a good sign that you have AS. But you'll need to look at your other symptoms too.

I had one friend for the last 15+ years, he moved to another state 7 years ago, we only kept in touch via email and saw each other 3 times. Then he died... and I don't want to have friends any more, ever.

AdamDZ I think you're making some important points here. Friendships are wonderful when they work but entail the risk of getting hurt by conflict, separation, or as you have discovered, loss. Not so different from experiences within the family, except that we don't choose our families but we choose our friends, or should I say they choose us. In some way that makes the loss even more painful. I can only assume the AS already causes people a lot of issues and so friendship is avoided which reduces stress but people miss out on the good stuff. I guess that's an NT perspective.

I got the 'I don't have a need for friends' broadside fired at me when I tried to get acquainted, with a view to friendship, with someone with AS but somehow I managed to persuade them to at least give the thing a chance and now we are good friends. I am very grateful to my friend for taking that chance.


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