Aggressive feelings when out in public

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Joe90
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28 Oct 2011, 4:26 pm

I keep getting aggressive when I'm out, especially on Saturdays. Not physically aggressive, but just inwardly aggressive. I do things like tut loudly when people stand near me, and I storm away. I sort of want people to know I'm pissed off so that they can keep out of my way, but nobody seems to take any notice, then when somebody does take notice and look at me for it, I regret it and wished I had stayed calm and cool. It's such a strange emotion. I'm not sure if it's due to agitation making me feel aggressive. It's not really my nature to be nasty and threatening, so hopefully that would never happen. But I am worrying because in years to come I might get more and more aggressive by the year, until one day I suddenly explode and become dangerous. I really don't want that to happen to me. I have enough self-control at the moment, but I never, ever used to be aggressive or agitated or anxious when out in public before, until I got to about 18 or 19. So I've got worse since then, and I'm afraid it might get worse and worse.

I don't really want to take meds because everyone I know who's gone on anti-depressants had negative side effects like difficulty sleeping (and 8 hours of sleep a night is emotionally important to me), or nausea (and nausea makes me anxious and prevents me from going out), or the runs (and I hate getting the runs so much. My digestion has actually always been fine, so I don't want to go on tablets what might change it). I've tried other meds before and it didn't really help. I was just wondering if there was any tips I could use to perhaps calm myself down mentally. Does anyone here get these aggressive thoughts and feelings when you're out in public? Is there are reason why I get so exasperated with people all the time? Is it normal for Aspies, or is it just another unique personality trait of mine? I did read somewhere that young adults with mild AS can be very angry inside, due to self-esteem issues.


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Sparx
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28 Oct 2011, 4:33 pm

This is probably dumb advice, but do you usually wear sunglasses? When I wear them it kind of helps shut out the commotion of the world a smidge, resulting in a calmer me.



Joe90
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30 Oct 2011, 9:47 am

Sparx wrote:
This is probably dumb advice, but do you usually wear sunglasses? When I wear them it kind of helps shut out the commotion of the world a smidge, resulting in a calmer me.


No, if I wear sunglasses I still can get stressed. I get more aggressive when there's a lot of people about. On Sundays the bus-station is practically empty, and I feel much more relaxed and less aggressive. I even feel more patient and less anxious if the bus is late on a Sunday, because it's not like during the week when there are people invading my space and getting on and off buses and keep asking me if I'm getting on this bus and I have to keep saying ''no'' (I feel like being sarcastic and saying ''I thought you NTs can read body language - can't you see I'm standing right out of the way not even intending to get on this bus? Jeez!'') I just feel I can just relax and be myself a little more, without people keep asking me stupid questions.

So I reckon it's too many people what make me have aggressive feelings. I try not to associate this fully on having AS. I think I just get it from my parents. When they go shopping, they always like to avoid the rush hour because my mum says that shopping in a crowded supermarket is difficult, and my dad just hates crowds all together (and they're NTs). But I don't think having AS helps.
Some people can block all the people out when they're shopping, but I can't. I huff and puff and get myself into a bit of a state inside, and I leave the shop looking ill from frustration. I think that's the AS/Social Phobia.


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stumbelina
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30 Oct 2011, 10:17 am

I get like this quite a lot!

Last week, I had just finished my shift. It was quite a large company and many people would finish at the same time, also the next shift would be starting, so it used to be an absolute nightmare to get out of the building!! Narrow corridors didnt help matters either! Anyway, I was one of the first ones out for a change, until I got stuck behind two of my Managers showing a visitor around.. They were walking so so slow!! And I couldn't get past them!! I was whispering under my breath "Today would be great!!" and I shrugged my shoulders, and held my hands up! I did not realise another one of my Managers was behind me!! ! He heard and seen everything! He seen the funny side though, and told me to be more patient!! !



arielhawksquill
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30 Oct 2011, 11:39 am

The crowds of people are triggering your fight-or-flight response. Adrenaline and other hormones are flooding your body, which makes you feel aggressive.