CRITICISM

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how do you all deal with it?

also:

anger directed towards you

disappointment

judgemental people

non-verbals

antagonism

etcetera.

I cant deal with criticism at all and I do not like being yelled at so I do my best to not get yelled at.

Criticism has two components, emotional and conceptual, and I deal with each part separately.

I try to relax and let the emotional energy pass through me. I want to notice it but not let it stick to me.

I try to understand the conceptual component of the criticism and try to see things from the person's perspective. I give it a level of attention based on how much I value the critic's opinion and my impression of their honesty.

I deal with criticism by crying over it. I always take it personally whether it was constructive or not. I'm not good at handling it at all, which is bad because I enjoy doing artwork and writing, and criticism is a necessary part of growing as an artist.

I don't like it at all, but I try to learn from it anyways.

I can't handle people yelling at me, or having someone mad at me. It makes me want to rip my hair out.

I will eventually make good use of constructive criticism, but it does take time to establish some distance from the pain of being judged before I can do it. And that's when I *asked* for the criticism in the first place! Unjustified criticism used to flatten me, but I've gotten a lot better at stepping back and rationally dissecting it. It's still very stressful, but I don't wear myself out trying to "fix" whatever they said was broken.

At this point in my life it's dead easy to avoid judgmental people, so I do. The only judgmental people I deal with are family members, and I cringe at the thought of seeing them and have an occasional meltdown when visiting (I live multiple states away from everyone I'm related to so visits are very occasional), but mostly I can tune it out. I get very upset with myself when someone gets angry because I've "done something wrong" (in quotes because I'll include "violated social norms I'm aware of" as "wrong" here), but most of the stuff my family gets mad about I can kind of blow off because I'm convinced it's their issues more than mine. While on the one hand I have a really strong "want to please/not make waves" drive with people I like/think I should care about, OTOH my success rate at pleasing some people is so dismal it seems like it makes more sense to just avoid them and ignore upsets than to try to repair anything.

I'm actually more upset about disappointing the people I care about than by anger; I tend to think of anger as "their issue", but disappointing someone I respect is devastating, even when I know intellectually I can't do whatever it is they're thinking I ought to have done. *sigh*

well i do not listen to people who talk about what i have expressed because i am almost certain that they are not understanding of what i said. i am not dented by external disapproval.


also:


that is difficult for me. if i am not trapped, then i can progress, but when i am trapped (by peoples hindering attitudes) i can be a bit cruel. i am not happy about that much.



"et cetera" is the most profound phrase in the universe that i have heard .

"et cetera" means "and so on", and that indicates that you are inviting a person to engage their wits to pack out the skeleton of your proposition (and my powerpack is feeble).

I don't take criticism too well. It either pisses me off, or I ignore it, but it all depends on how it's given. I'm not afraid to admit my shortcomings and weaknesses, but I don't appreciate people being an a**hole to me for no good reason.

I get criticised all the time. It seems mostly men criticise more than women.

A lot of people don't understand my Agoraphobia, and sometimes I politely ask my mum to come to the supermarket with me. I don't like to force her if she says no, but if she says yes then we go together. But I have to be careful not to let my dad or my brother hear, because they would say, ''can't you go to the supermarket on your own yet?''

The thing I most hate is being criticised about my age.

My uncle is an expert at criticising. Whatever my mum says (even if it isn't relevant to me at all), my uncle always seems to bring me into it. Once my brother had to babysit his best mate's sons, and my mum told my uncle out of conversation, and my uncle suddenly pointed to me and said, ''she can do it aswell.'' And I'm like, ''what's it got to do with me? I'm going out tomorrow - I'm sure my brother will handle them well, he sees them all the time and he likes children.'' Another thing is once my mum was asking my uncle to help her move a big, heavy cabinet, and my uncle looked at me and started having a go at me saying, ''well you could do it - look at the size of you!'' I knew he meant that as ''you're an adult so you have the strength to lift heavy furnature'', but I still felt offended. I just know he is a criticiser, and I am sensitive to critism (although he doesn't seem to notice that), so I don't see him so much now.

I deal with every one of them the same way:

Not my problem.

But then, I've had five decades to learn not to let other people's emotions and opinions bother me. When I was much younger, things were far different. Give it time. You can learn too.

That all sounds like bad criticism so I try and ignore it and not let it get to me. People can be so ignorant.